BYU Women's Conference 2009

Women's Conference this year was wonderful! (As always.) The theme was "In the strength of the Lord." There were so many good talks and inspiring messages. Strength in the Lord is exactly what I've been searching for. I came home with my spiritual bucked filled up again.

Mom, Valarie, Jalynn (Val's sister) and I went together this year. I had a horrible cold the first day, so I think I missed the majority of what the Spirit was trying to teach me. But the second day, I was armed with my Tylenol cold medicine and cough drops, and actually felt a lot better. I know I got more out of the messages that day!

We made sure we spent some time helping with the humanitarian service projects in the Smith Field House this time. We worked on the school kits for an hour or so. It always makes me feel so good to know that some sweet little children somewhere across the world will have new notebooks, crayons and pencils. I wish I could be there to see their faces when those items are received with such gratitude. This was Jalynn's first year, and the service was definitely the highlight for her.

Summed up, here are a few things I learned, or thoughts and quotes that have caused me to reflect, evaluate and re-commit...

• Whether it's dealing with trials, standing strong in my standards, protecting my family, or rearranging my priorities,"In the strength of the Lord" I can do all things.
• Those who rely on the Lord understand the purpose of adversity and the nature of God. They go forward in faith, trusting Him They know that though the winds of mortality will blow, they find joy and peace in knowing the Lord.
• From the New Testament story of John and Jesus walking on the water: 1) Look to Christ and trust Him; 2) Take a leap of faith and follow the Lord; 3) Be aware of distractions; 4) Get back on track - call to Jesus for help; 5) Jesus will stretch forth His hands and bless us in our time of need.
• Do I look for ways to look forward and get up and get moving even when things are hard?
  
• "Your future is as bright as your faith". --Pres. Gordon B. Hinckley
• Keep a clear focus on the blessings of eternal life. It changes the way we talk, act dress and live.
• The Lord has promised to give us the righteous desires of our hearts. If you want to be happy, you must do what you've been told that brings happiness.
• Would you know if the Lord was sending you a message? Turn off the background noise and save some time for quiet moments to ponder. Delicate and sensitive attention is vital to our spirits.
• Build your home facing the temple and the important things will take their proper place in our lives while the unimportant things will drop out completely.
• If we don't put Christ first, it won't matter what else we put first!

Saturday we went for our annual DI shopping trip (Provo DI is huge...), and then to the Tulip Festival at Thanksgiving Point. The flowers were so beautiful. Here's a sampling...

Love the red, white and blue

Me, Valarie and Mom

Valarie and Jalynn

Parrot tulips

The garden walkway

After seeing some of the garden (the free part), we drove up to Gardner Village near Salt Lake. We had lunch at the restaurant in the old mill. It was so yummy, and fun to sit and visit a little more. It started raining after lunch, so we had to run between all the little shops. We had so much fun planning our home decor for when we have unlimited funds. It's definitely where I would go to furnish my house if money didn't matter!

We had such a nice time together. It was kind of sad dropping Jalynn off at the airport and heading home. It meant the weekend was really over. I was ready to be back with my family, but I know that the things I felt and learned sometimes don't stick with me very long after I start back in real life again. I always come home renewed and feeling happy, grateful, and like I can conquer the world. I hope I can apply these thoughts and principles to my life and help them stick this time! My life is so good.

Sweet Sarah...

My sweet Sarah has been sick since Spring Break. The head cold she had that week kept her home the week after, and the two weeks following that she was home throwing up, with what we thought was a PLE relapse. We took her in to the doctor to have her blood tested again, and her albumen level was at 4.0. That's higher than it's been in years! (Here's where we insert a head scratch and a "huh?") It's not very helpful when the doctor is as baffled as you are. In theory, her PLE symptoms are supposed to subside when the protein levels are good. I use the term, "in theory", because Sarah's body rarely does things by the books.

Dr. McInturff, her pediatrician, put in a call to her cardiologist and in consultaion days later, they decided to put her on an antibiotic that would cause better motility in her digetive tract, hoping to get her over this hump. In the meantime, we went to the orthodontist for unrelated matters, where they did a full scan of her head to see if her jaw was having problems that were causing her bite to open again. They discovered that her sinus cavity was about 80% full of junk. I told Dr. McInturff this and he put her on a different antibiotic and treated a sinus infection instead. We thought this would help with the gagging, and therefore the throwing up.

At about the same time we discovered the sinus thing, we also watched her more carefully and noticed that she seemed really down and discouraged again. After a couple of heart-to-heart talks, Steve realized that she was having some serious issues within herself, generally related to her self-worth, if Heavenly Father really loved her, why her prayers weren't being answered, and so on. Steve made her write some statements, positive things that she knew she should believe and could recite until her mind and heart did believe them. She's an amazing young lady. Through this exercise, we learned that really does know the answers to those questions, the discouragement was taking over. Steve taught her that what we focus on is what comes about and that if she focused on the blessings in her life, and these true positive statements, her mind could heal and then, in turn, heal her body. Armed with these statements (he made her say aloud at least 20 times ther first three days), antibiotics, and a plan to get the make-up homework done in reasonable doses, she faced life the next two days with so much courage. By the time Thursday of the third week rolled around, she was feeling much better, not throwing up anymore, and anxious to go to school for one day, and have a weekend to recuperate. Her daddy gave her a priesthood blessing, and she went to bed focused on a successful Friday.

Imagine the joy we felt when she got up Friday morning and announced that she felt great! (We hadn't heard that for weeks.) She went to school, stayed all day, and had a great day. She walked home from the bus stop with a friend, dumped her backpack on the floor with a huge grin and hugged me. It was great to have the real Sarah back again! She then added to my astonishment when she asked if she could walk with her friend to pick up another friend and then walk to the elementary school to watch them practice their flag twirling. Feeling good and acting like a normal teenager? WOW! It was amazing. She had a marvelous day, and I went to bed that night thanking the Lord for His mercy and the incredible blessing of healing for our sweet Sarah.

Spring Break: A Short Trip West

During Spring Break this year, we took the kids to the Boise area to visit family and see some things "out west". Okay, not very far west, but at least we didn't stay home. We first went to Jerome to visit Steve's sister Jennie and her family. The boys played with their cousins (Trey, Landon and Kamryn), Sarah played with the "little sister", Kamryn, and Rachel played with their dog, Harley, and Steve's Blackberry. (She thought she was going to die not being able to check her email for four days!) After the all the boys were in bed, the big girls watched Twilight together...fun flick...and then went to bed.

In the morning, I went to breakfast with one of my college roommates (Nichole Hopkins Prince) that I recently reconnected with. We had a wonderful visit, like only a year or so had passed (would you believe almost 18?). It was sad to part, but we promised to get together again, with the kids, this summer.

We traveled to Caldwell to Mike and Krystal's house and spent the next two days with them. Mike's birthday was that day, and we had a little party for him that night. The next morning, Mike and Krystal had both taken the day off so we met Kristina and her kids at the Idaho Discovery Center in Boise. What a fun place! We spent about three hours there discovering science together. I was really surprised how fun it was for the little ones all the way up to the adults.

Joshua, Bryson, Rachel, Julie, Nathan, Steve & Sarah
at the Discovery Center

Here are a few of our favorite things...

The robotic head, complete with a button to make the eyes blink.

Nathan's favorite hang-out was the grocery store. It had little shopping carts, pretend food, manual-crank conveyor belts, beeping scan pads, and cash registers. So cute!

Josh and Bryson liked watching the indoor tornado.

The bubble wall was one of my favorites!

The boys liked trying to put their hands through without popping the bubble. ...Oops!!

Joshua's very favorite thing was the "electricity" station where he could make connections with wires to make bells ring, buzzers buzz, and lights light up. It sure made his face light up when he figured out by himself how to use the buzzer button to turn on the light! What a smart kid.

Bryson's favorite thing was the giant microscope. He watched microscopic little worms wiggle around the slide. He was so intrigued, he watched them for a really long time.

Just a note (because I know you're wondering): The girls were there, too, but not often where the camera was. They were usually off with their cousins. Also, Sarah wasn't feeling very well (she had a head cold that agitated her PLE), so she was a really good sport, but did a lot of sitting and didn't have as much fun as the rest of us.

Later that night, Krystal took us all to the YMCA and we swam. It was a really fun pool. They had a zero-depth pool with fountains, a lazy river, and a water slide. We all had a fun time, but were totally worn out by the time we got back home. The kids slept pretty well that night!

The next morning, we packed up and went over to Kristina's new house in Meridian for breakfast. The house is beautiful. They seem happy to be there, and loving all the space. We visited for a while and then headed back home to Pocatello. It was a just right trip. Just the right amount of time away, just the right amount of fun, just the right amount of visit time. We had a really good time together.

Thirty-Something

Wow. It's been a couple weeks since I've posted anything. Life's been pretty crazy, hectic and hard the last couple of weeks. I'll fill you in later.

Tonight I want to talk about getting old. When I was a kid, 37 seemed so old. I mean, it was almost 4o. Funny how your perspective changes. Now 40's not really very old, and 70 seems like an eternity away. I had a nice birthday today. I was sung to four different times. The first was a very loud off-tune (on purpose) rendition I got from my family. The second was in Primary. I was sitting with Nathan until class time because he has a hard time during opening exercises. They sang, "Happy, happy birthday, Children dear". It made me smile and feel very young. Steve invited (as a surprise) all my family that's in town over for dessert, and they sang to me, all crowded in my living room. Later, at the Youth Conference Committee meeting, the youth all sang to me (at Sister Broberg's insistence). I had lots of people wish me well and it made me feel very loved.

My sweet husband had dinner all done when we came home from church. He spoke in a different ward for High Council and got home a couple of hours before we did. There were goblets on the table, the "red plate" and even a candle. He made me grilled chicken and shrimp (my favorite - glad the sun was out) with salad and fresh steamed broccoli. It was wonderful. Then, after dinner, Rachel said, "Mom, just get lost for a while and we'll do the dishes." Sarah's head snapped over to her and she said, "We will?" It was pretty funny. So, I situated myself on my bed and read the Ensign for a while and then fell asleep with my little Nathan tucked in next to me. What a wonderful afternoon. When I finally came to again, we opened presents and then my family all started showing up. We had angel food cake and strawberries. It was delicious. After my meeting, I came back home and we watched my new movie (Mr. Magorium's Wonder Emporium). It was great. Cuddling on the couch, eating popcorn, spending time together. It was a wonderful day.

I really don't feel any older, though. Not really much wiser, either. When I look back over the last year, I guess I've gained a little more knowledge and experience, and the things we've been through with our kids have taught me much about real faith, especially in accepting the Lord's will and timing, and that my husband and children are by far the best things that have ever happened to me. I've been greatly blessed this past year, especially with the ability to recognize the Lord's hand and His love in my life. So grateful for all He does for me and all He blesses me with, because I've come to understand (at least to a degree) that he knows what I need and what will help me grow and become all that I can.

So, here's to another year older...and wiser, too!!

Dear Elder Webster,

I just received a beautiful letter from Steve's nephew, Matt Webster who's serving a mission. It was so heartfelt and struck such a chord, I really wanted to post it here. (I hope he doesn't mind.) I've also included my response, which kind of sums up the feelings in my heart tonight.

Hey all!! How is it going? hope that all is well. Things here continue to go great! I am having the time of my life! The mission is the best thing ever and I couldn't be happier. I have learned something. That the key to true happiness is striving to achieve the happiness for all of the rest. That is the best way to be happy. Serving others and trying to make their lives the best that you can. We are happy only when we are engaged in unselfish service. (Matthew 10:39) One of the best ways that we can do that is through our daily prayers. Praying for others. We never stand taller than when we are on our knees. Prayer is one of the most powerful thing we have to bless others. As we forget about our own needs and strive to help others and pray for them, not only does it make their life better, but we see the improvement in our own life. Satan trembles when he sees us on our knees praying for ourselves and the needs of the others. That is the best way that we can overcome the sorrows and walk around with a huge smile on our face each and everyday. I love you all! You're the best in the world! You're in my prayers! Always pray, morning and night and in your heart throughout the day. Always study the scriptures and turn to the Lord in every situation. YOU'RE THE BEST!! Be safe! and good luck with all! Love, Elder Webster

Dear Elder Webster,

I just wanted to take a second and thank you for your faithful service and for sharing your strength and testimony with us. As you've probably noticed, I'm not very good writing letters, but I needed you to know that your letters touch my heart, enhance my scripture study, and strengthen me. I loved the email I just got about prayer and serving others.

We've had some struggles with Sarah's health over the last six months, and it sometimes seems to overwhelm and frustrate us. Since we heard and felt such wonderful things from conference yesterday, we were just talking about how blessed we truly are and how grateful we should be. There are people with much sadder and more tragic lives than ours. We have this glorious gospel and a living prophet. We have a home, clothes, food, and live in a country with liberty and blessings of prosperity. We have the blessings of temple service, with a temple less than an hour away. We have each other, and even though our struggles might sometimes be the cause of grief, we are a forever family, working toward eternal goals together, and should find comfort in remembering that those blessings are ours, if we live faithfully. How could we ever be less than grateful for the Lord's abundant blessings? Yet, at times, we forget how truly blessed we are and look at our trials and struggles and wonder why He's forgotten us, or why He let this happen. Wow. I can't imagine how He must feel when we wallow in our misery instead of climbing out of the pit by reaching out to others whose pain is so much deeper than ours.

Thank you for sharing your thoughts and reminding me that in order to fight the feelings of the "natural man" and the frustration and despair Satan thrusts upon me, I need to get back on my knees (a hundred times a day, if necessary), be grateful for the bounteous blessings that are mine, put a smile on my face, and go out and serve with all my heart.

I think you're awesome. The people there are so lucky to have you. We love and pray for you each day. May the Lord, who loves us all eternally and unconditionally, continue to bless you in your faithful service.

Love, Aunt Julie

A Long Hard Week

It's been a pretty long, hard week for me this week. Everything from country songs, to my husband's flowers and hugs to my own thoughts have made me tear up, and it's still not stopping. It could just be a hormone thing, or a lack of sleep. Maybe those things have contributed, but I really think I've been close to tears because of my perspective. I've felt so weighed down this week with worry of how to best help Bryson and what to do about Sarah. I've got two special children that I love with all my heart that have such different needs and I don't really know what to do about either of them. What my brain says and what my heart says keeps clashing and sometimes my reasoning and logic take over my compassion and I forget that loving them and faithful prayer are really the only things that I can do to help them. General Conference will be good for me. I know that I will probably find peace, direction, and maybe a little more faith through the messages of the Lord's servants. And, I'm sure the tears will come.

The Diagnosis

A few years ago, when Bryson was in kindergarten, we became aware that he had some special challenges and was struggling (mostly socially) at school. Before that, he was tested and diagnosed as having a "developmental delay" and enrolled in the school district's early intervention preschool to help him catch up academically and be ready for kindergarten. He liked going to school, but struggled with the separation and anxiety associated with that. In first grade, we suspected that he still had issues that needed to be addressed. As we read and researched the symptoms of Asperger's Syndrome, I felt like I was reading books and articles written about my little boy. We had him tested at his new school (the Academy - a charter school which he loves and thrives in) and although we didn't get doctor's diagnosis, the tests showed that he had a high probability of having AS. We read and researched some more, changed some of our behaviors and how we talked to and dealt with Bryson. We learned how to work with his special needs and rigid routines, giving him plenty of help with daily transitions, space to be alone, and stopped making him do things on our terms. Things seemed to get better, and Sarah's health started getting worse.

Here we are, now, in 3rd Grade. He still loves school, but hates reading, writing, spelling, math, and basically anything he doesn't want to do. Bryson's teacher is very concerned about his lack of attention and that he's falling behind the other kids in school. We also fight daily with focusing and getting him to complete his hour's worth of homework in less than three hours. So, we finally focused our attention back on our special boy and took him in for a physical. His pediatrician explained to him that we needed to meet with his friend (Dr. Christensen, a child psychologist) so we could learn how his brain worked. He told him that teachers usually teach all kids the same, and sometimes, some kids' brains work differently. If we could find out how his brain works, then the teacher will be able to help him learn in the special way he needs to and learning will be much easier, and more fun. Wow! He was actually excited. I almost think he knew something wasn't really working, and was actually relieved that somebody noticed that he wasn't really getting what he needed.

After hours of testing and pages and pages of surveys, we've finally got a diagnosis for our sweet little Bryson boy. The doctor has concluded that he has an Attention Deficit Disorder and Asperger's Syndrome. The attention deficit could be caused by the AS, but we really can't tell unless we try to treat the ADD and see what happens. We've received recommendations from the doctor about what he thinks might help as far as therapy and treatments, but we haven't made any decisions or met with his pediatrician again to even begin to decide what to do for him. I've begun re-reading a book that was really helpful a couple of years ago, and it's given me a lot of insight and ideas of how to help him right away.

He's so sweet and so talented and so smart... I just want so much for him to be happy and successful. I hope and pray with all my heart that we can help his challenges become strengths and he can grow into the amazing, talented and smart husband and father I know he has the potential to be. I also hope and pray that with the other challenges in our lives, Steve and I will be able to help all of our children feel the love we have for them, gather strength in our faith, and work together to keep our family strong. We've got two children with very special needs, and three others that need us to be there for them, too. So many times, struggles with children that cause stress pull families apart. I can see how that would happen, but we promised each other and God a long time ago that we'd never let that happen to us. We're strong when we're together, and with our hands in His, I know we'll be able to make it.