Wow. It's been a couple weeks since I've posted anything. Life's been pretty crazy, hectic and hard the last couple of weeks. I'll fill you in later.
Tonight I want to talk about getting old. When I was a kid, 37 seemed so old. I mean, it was almost 4o. Funny how your perspective changes. Now 40's not really very old, and 70 seems like an eternity away. I had a nice birthday today. I was sung to four different times. The first was a very loud off-tune (on purpose) rendition I got from my family. The second was in Primary. I was sitting with Nathan until class time because he has a hard time during opening exercises. They sang, "Happy, happy birthday, Children dear". It made me smile and feel very young. Steve invited (as a surprise) all my family that's in town over for dessert, and they sang to me, all crowded in my living room. Later, at the Youth Conference Committee meeting, the youth all sang to me (at Sister Broberg's insistence). I had lots of people wish me well and it made me feel very loved.
My sweet husband had dinner all done when we came home from church. He spoke in a different ward for High Council and got home a couple of hours before we did. There were goblets on the table, the "red plate" and even a candle. He made me grilled chicken and shrimp (my favorite - glad the sun was out) with salad and fresh steamed broccoli. It was wonderful. Then, after dinner, Rachel said, "Mom, just get lost for a while and we'll do the dishes." Sarah's head snapped over to her and she said, "We will?" It was pretty funny. So, I situated myself on my bed and read the Ensign for a while and then fell asleep with my little Nathan tucked in next to me. What a wonderful afternoon. When I finally came to again, we opened presents and then my family all started showing up. We had angel food cake and strawberries. It was delicious. After my meeting, I came back home and we watched my new movie (Mr. Magorium's Wonder Emporium). It was great. Cuddling on the couch, eating popcorn, spending time together. It was a wonderful day.
I really don't feel any older, though. Not really much wiser, either. When I look back over the last year, I guess I've gained a little more knowledge and experience, and the things we've been through with our kids have taught me much about real faith, especially in accepting the Lord's will and timing, and that my husband and children are by far the best things that have ever happened to me. I've been greatly blessed this past year, especially with the ability to recognize the Lord's hand and His love in my life. So grateful for all He does for me and all He blesses me with, because I've come to understand (at least to a degree) that he knows what I need and what will help me grow and become all that I can.
So, here's to another year older...and wiser, too!!
Sunday, April 19, 2009
Monday, April 6, 2009
Dear Elder Webster,
I just received a beautiful letter from Steve's nephew, Matt Webster who's serving a mission. It was so heartfelt and struck such a chord, I really wanted to post it here. (I hope he doesn't mind.) I've also included my response, which kind of sums up the feelings in my heart tonight.
Hey all!! How is it going? hope that all is well. Things here continue to go great! I am having the time of my life! The mission is the best thing ever and I couldn't be happier. I have learned something. That the key to true happiness is striving to achieve the happiness for all of the rest. That is the best way to be happy. Serving others and trying to make their lives the best that you can. We are happy only when we are engaged in unselfish service. (Matthew 10:39) One of the best ways that we can do that is through our daily prayers. Praying for others. We never stand taller than when we are on our knees. Prayer is one of the most powerful thing we have to bless others. As we forget about our own needs and strive to help others and pray for them, not only does it make their life better, but we see the improvement in our own life. Satan trembles when he sees us on our knees praying for ourselves and the needs of the others. That is the best way that we can overcome the sorrows and walk around with a huge smile on our face each and everyday. I love you all! You're the best in the world! You're in my prayers! Always pray, morning and night and in your heart throughout the day. Always study the scriptures and turn to the Lord in every situation. YOU'RE THE BEST!! Be safe! and good luck with all! Love, Elder Webster
Dear Elder Webster,
I just wanted to take a second and thank you for your faithful service and for sharing your strength and testimony with us. As you've probably noticed, I'm not very good writing letters, but I needed you to know that your letters touch my heart, enhance my scripture study, and strengthen me. I loved the email I just got about prayer and serving others.
We've had some struggles with Sarah's health over the last six months, and it sometimes seems to overwhelm and frustrate us. Since we heard and felt such wonderful things from conference yesterday, we were just talking about how blessed we truly are and how grateful we should be. There are people with much sadder and more tragic lives than ours. We have this glorious gospel and a living prophet. We have a home, clothes, food, and live in a country with liberty and blessings of prosperity. We have the blessings of temple service, with a temple less than an hour away. We have each other, and even though our struggles might sometimes be the cause of grief, we are a forever family, working toward eternal goals together, and should find comfort in remembering that those blessings are ours, if we live faithfully. How could we ever be less than grateful for the Lord's abundant blessings? Yet, at times, we forget how truly blessed we are and look at our trials and struggles and wonder why He's forgotten us, or why He let this happen. Wow. I can't imagine how He must feel when we wallow in our misery instead of climbing out of the pit by reaching out to others whose pain is so much deeper than ours.
Thank you for sharing your thoughts and reminding me that in order to fight the feelings of the "natural man" and the frustration and despair Satan thrusts upon me, I need to get back on my knees (a hundred times a day, if necessary), be grateful for the bounteous blessings that are mine, put a smile on my face, and go out and serve with all my heart.
I think you're awesome. The people there are so lucky to have you. We love and pray for you each day. May the Lord, who loves us all eternally and unconditionally, continue to bless you in your faithful service.
Love, Aunt Julie
Hey all!! How is it going? hope that all is well. Things here continue to go great! I am having the time of my life! The mission is the best thing ever and I couldn't be happier. I have learned something. That the key to true happiness is striving to achieve the happiness for all of the rest. That is the best way to be happy. Serving others and trying to make their lives the best that you can. We are happy only when we are engaged in unselfish service. (Matthew 10:39) One of the best ways that we can do that is through our daily prayers. Praying for others. We never stand taller than when we are on our knees. Prayer is one of the most powerful thing we have to bless others. As we forget about our own needs and strive to help others and pray for them, not only does it make their life better, but we see the improvement in our own life. Satan trembles when he sees us on our knees praying for ourselves and the needs of the others. That is the best way that we can overcome the sorrows and walk around with a huge smile on our face each and everyday. I love you all! You're the best in the world! You're in my prayers! Always pray, morning and night and in your heart throughout the day. Always study the scriptures and turn to the Lord in every situation. YOU'RE THE BEST!! Be safe! and good luck with all! Love, Elder Webster
Dear Elder Webster,
I just wanted to take a second and thank you for your faithful service and for sharing your strength and testimony with us. As you've probably noticed, I'm not very good writing letters, but I needed you to know that your letters touch my heart, enhance my scripture study, and strengthen me. I loved the email I just got about prayer and serving others.
We've had some struggles with Sarah's health over the last six months, and it sometimes seems to overwhelm and frustrate us. Since we heard and felt such wonderful things from conference yesterday, we were just talking about how blessed we truly are and how grateful we should be. There are people with much sadder and more tragic lives than ours. We have this glorious gospel and a living prophet. We have a home, clothes, food, and live in a country with liberty and blessings of prosperity. We have the blessings of temple service, with a temple less than an hour away. We have each other, and even though our struggles might sometimes be the cause of grief, we are a forever family, working toward eternal goals together, and should find comfort in remembering that those blessings are ours, if we live faithfully. How could we ever be less than grateful for the Lord's abundant blessings? Yet, at times, we forget how truly blessed we are and look at our trials and struggles and wonder why He's forgotten us, or why He let this happen. Wow. I can't imagine how He must feel when we wallow in our misery instead of climbing out of the pit by reaching out to others whose pain is so much deeper than ours.
Thank you for sharing your thoughts and reminding me that in order to fight the feelings of the "natural man" and the frustration and despair Satan thrusts upon me, I need to get back on my knees (a hundred times a day, if necessary), be grateful for the bounteous blessings that are mine, put a smile on my face, and go out and serve with all my heart.
I think you're awesome. The people there are so lucky to have you. We love and pray for you each day. May the Lord, who loves us all eternally and unconditionally, continue to bless you in your faithful service.
Love, Aunt Julie
Saturday, April 4, 2009
A Long Hard Week
It's been a pretty long, hard week for me this week. Everything from country songs, to my husband's flowers and hugs to my own thoughts have made me tear up, and it's still not stopping. It could just be a hormone thing, or a lack of sleep. Maybe those things have contributed, but I really think I've been close to tears because of my perspective. I've felt so weighed down this week with worry of how to best help Bryson and what to do about Sarah. I've got two special children that I love with all my heart that have such different needs and I don't really know what to do about either of them. What my brain says and what my heart says keeps clashing and sometimes my reasoning and logic take over my compassion and I forget that loving them and faithful prayer are really the only things that I can do to help them. General Conference will be good for me. I know that I will probably find peace, direction, and maybe a little more faith through the messages of the Lord's servants. And, I'm sure the tears will come.
The Diagnosis
A few years ago, when Bryson was in kindergarten, we became aware that he had some special challenges and was struggling (mostly socially) at school. Before that, he was tested and diagnosed as having a "developmental delay" and enrolled in the school district's early intervention preschool to help him catch up academically and be ready for kindergarten. He liked going to school, but struggled with the separation and anxiety associated with that. In first grade, we suspected that he still had issues that needed to be addressed. As we read and researched the symptoms of Asperger's Syndrome, I felt like I was reading books and articles written about my little boy. We had him tested at his new school (the Academy - a charter school which he loves and thrives in) and although we didn't get doctor's diagnosis, the tests showed that he had a high probability of having AS. We read and researched some more, changed some of our behaviors and how we talked to and dealt with Bryson. We learned how to work with his special needs and rigid routines, giving him plenty of help with daily transitions, space to be alone, and stopped making him do things on our terms. Things seemed to get better, and Sarah's health started getting worse.
Here we are, now, in 3rd Grade. He still loves school, but hates reading, writing, spelling, math, and basically anything he doesn't want to do. Bryson's teacher is very concerned about his lack of attention and that he's falling behind the other kids in school. We also fight daily with focusing and getting him to complete his hour's worth of homework in less than three hours. So, we finally focused our attention back on our special boy and took him in for a physical. His pediatrician explained to him that we needed to meet with his friend (Dr. Christensen, a child psychologist) so we could learn how his brain worked. He told him that teachers usually teach all kids the same, and sometimes, some kids' brains work differently. If we could find out how his brain works, then the teacher will be able to help him learn in the special way he needs to and learning will be much easier, and more fun. Wow! He was actually excited. I almost think he knew something wasn't really working, and was actually relieved that somebody noticed that he wasn't really getting what he needed.
After hours of testing and pages and pages of surveys, we've finally got a diagnosis for our sweet little Bryson boy. The doctor has concluded that he has an Attention Deficit Disorder and Asperger's Syndrome. The attention deficit could be caused by the AS, but we really can't tell unless we try to treat the ADD and see what happens. We've received recommendations from the doctor about what he thinks might help as far as therapy and treatments, but we haven't made any decisions or met with his pediatrician again to even begin to decide what to do for him. I've begun re-reading a book that was really helpful a couple of years ago, and it's given me a lot of insight and ideas of how to help him right away.
He's so sweet and so talented and so smart... I just want so much for him to be happy and successful. I hope and pray with all my heart that we can help his challenges become strengths and he can grow into the amazing, talented and smart husband and father I know he has the potential to be. I also hope and pray that with the other challenges in our lives, Steve and I will be able to help all of our children feel the love we have for them, gather strength in our faith, and work together to keep our family strong. We've got two children with very special needs, and three others that need us to be there for them, too. So many times, struggles with children that cause stress pull families apart. I can see how that would happen, but we promised each other and God a long time ago that we'd never let that happen to us. We're strong when we're together, and with our hands in His, I know we'll be able to make it.
Here we are, now, in 3rd Grade. He still loves school, but hates reading, writing, spelling, math, and basically anything he doesn't want to do. Bryson's teacher is very concerned about his lack of attention and that he's falling behind the other kids in school. We also fight daily with focusing and getting him to complete his hour's worth of homework in less than three hours. So, we finally focused our attention back on our special boy and took him in for a physical. His pediatrician explained to him that we needed to meet with his friend (Dr. Christensen, a child psychologist) so we could learn how his brain worked. He told him that teachers usually teach all kids the same, and sometimes, some kids' brains work differently. If we could find out how his brain works, then the teacher will be able to help him learn in the special way he needs to and learning will be much easier, and more fun. Wow! He was actually excited. I almost think he knew something wasn't really working, and was actually relieved that somebody noticed that he wasn't really getting what he needed.
After hours of testing and pages and pages of surveys, we've finally got a diagnosis for our sweet little Bryson boy. The doctor has concluded that he has an Attention Deficit Disorder and Asperger's Syndrome. The attention deficit could be caused by the AS, but we really can't tell unless we try to treat the ADD and see what happens. We've received recommendations from the doctor about what he thinks might help as far as therapy and treatments, but we haven't made any decisions or met with his pediatrician again to even begin to decide what to do for him. I've begun re-reading a book that was really helpful a couple of years ago, and it's given me a lot of insight and ideas of how to help him right away.
He's so sweet and so talented and so smart... I just want so much for him to be happy and successful. I hope and pray with all my heart that we can help his challenges become strengths and he can grow into the amazing, talented and smart husband and father I know he has the potential to be. I also hope and pray that with the other challenges in our lives, Steve and I will be able to help all of our children feel the love we have for them, gather strength in our faith, and work together to keep our family strong. We've got two children with very special needs, and three others that need us to be there for them, too. So many times, struggles with children that cause stress pull families apart. I can see how that would happen, but we promised each other and God a long time ago that we'd never let that happen to us. We're strong when we're together, and with our hands in His, I know we'll be able to make it.
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