Remembering Those We Love... Memorial Day 2009

We celebrated Memorial Day this year just like every year, on Saturday in Idaho Falls. My Grandpa Mangum is buried there, and so is Steve's nephew, Tanner.

Grandpa Mangum (my mom's dad) died just a couple of months before Bryson was born (August 1999). He was a sweet, gentle man who was suffering from Parkinsons' Disease. He fell, broke his pelvis, and died from heart failure in the hospital. (He had heart problems for as long as I can remember.) Things I remember about him are the back brace he wore that I could feel when he wrapped me in a huge bear hug, brushing and "fixing" his hair with barrettes and bows, "buzzing bees" and the way his face looked when he buzzed his lips, and how much he loved the grand kids. His greatest love, after his family was genealogy. One year for Christmas, he gave us each a big book with copies of all the work he had completed for my mom's line. After he passed away, I was at his house with my Mom, sister, and Grandma. We were looking through one of his many volumes of pedigree charts, and I found the perfect name for my son who was coming in just a couple of months (poor kid, his parents couldn't decide on a name until then). Someone, way back in my family line, had the last name of Bryson. It just clicked, and fit with the middle name of Lowell (Steve's family name). So, every time I think of Grandpa, I think of him and Bryson sitting up there together in heaven, plotting, guiding and helping me find the perfect name for him.

Nathan, Kyle & Macey (David's kids) and Joshua
Cute great-grand kids cleaning Grandpa's headstone

Grandpa's headstone and Memorial Day flowers

Grandpa's Military Marker
(He served in WWII in Iceland)

My mom and dad, (my brother) David's family, and my family spent time at Tautphaus Park together having a barbecue and celebrating Grandpa's life and my mom's birthday. We played catch, croquet, got a kite tangled in the tree, fell off the swings, and ate amazingly wonderful hamburgers and the most divine chocolate cake! We had a fun time together. After the barbecue, we stopped to look at the fountain in the park, and went to visit Tanner's grave.

Tanner Webster (Steve's sister's baby) passed away almost 17 years ago. He was 6 months old and suffocated when he got stuck between the crib and mattress. As you'd expect, Kathy and Richard had a really hard time when died. It shook the family up pretty hard. Right after we were married and lived in Rexburg, Steve and I used to go over to their house in Idaho Falls every Saturday. I spent the day with his sweet sister and her cute kids doing laundry and playing with baby Tanner while Steve was at work. He's the one that made me so baby hungry the first time. A few months after he died, I found out I was expecting our first baby. It must have been so hard for Kathy to be happy for me, though I never would have known it. She is such an amazing person.

Tanner's Headstone

At the cemetery Saturday, we talked about how Tanner died and how sad Kathy and Richard were when he went back to live with Heavenly Father. After a while, when we were ready to go, Bryson was just standing there, eyes glued to the headstone. I walked back over to him, put my arm around him, and asked if he was okay. The floodgates opened, and the tears streamed down his face. With a big hug, he told me, "Mom, it's just so sad..." We took a few more minutes than usual at the cemetery talking about Heavenly Father's great Plan of Happiness and how lucky Tanner was to be born, get his body and get to go right back home to his Heavenly Father. We talked about that even though it is really sad and hard for Kathy and Richard, they are okay now because they know that he's with Heavenly Father. They will get to be with him again someday, because of what Jesus did for us. It was a really special moment together.

Positive Mental Attitude

Okay, for quite a while now, Steve has been reading and studying about how with the right focused thoughts, our minds can teach us, heal us, and change our lives. We all know that being happy is based upon doing and thinking about things that make us happy. That's kind of a no-brainer. But, what about actually healing our bodies, with thoughts of being made whole (instead of fretting about the illness)? Or having money show up out of "nowhere" because our thoughts were focused on having money (instead of lacking it)? Kind of weird? I always thought so, but I'm putting in writing now that it's so true. I've seen it happen in our lives, and know that we become our thoughts, and our succeses are absolutely controlled by those thoughts.

In his reading, he stumbled across a book called "A Complaint-Free World" that started as a simple sermon from a preacher who wanted his congregation to be happier and has become a world-wide movement. In this book are many stories from Pastor Will Bowen about his journey in becoming a complaint-free person, and explains how our thoughts and words make us who we are. He teaches "how to stop complaining and start enjoying the life you always wanted". He also issues a 21-day (the time it takes to create a habit) challenge to become complaint-free, which includes obtaining from complaining (which usually comes out in the form of whining), gossiping, and criticizing. Steve ordered bracelets for our family so we could do the 21-day challenge. We sat together as a family and talked about what complaining was and how it affects our thoughts, moods, and actions. He shared a few of the incredible stories in the book of people whose positive thoughts changed, and prolonged their lives. I want so badly to have that kind of life...a happy, positive, live life to its fullest kind of life!

I always thought I was a pretty happy, positive person, until I had to start changing a bracelet from one arm to the next every time I complain. I've also included sarcasm and losing control with my kids in my challenge. So far, I think I've even made it one whole day in the last 12. Not quite as easy as I thought it would be. But, I can see the change happening in my life, though. I find myself working harder to focus my thoughts in a more positive, constructive direction, so I don't waste my time with the things that usually slip out without any thought at all.

I have also learned a couple of things. First, I am very grateful to have friends that are such good and happy people. It's way too easy to slip into the complaining mode when you're hanging out with complainers. I'm so grateful that they lift me up instead of bringing me down. Second, my life is SO good. When I really stop and think about the things that come out of my mouth, I realize how petty and silly those things are to complain about. I am so blessed and so lucky to live where I do, in this beautiful, free country, to enjoy good health, to have the gospel, a wonderful family, and good friends. When it comes down to it, there is not anything in my life that merits complaint. God has been good to me!!

Help, Gratitude and A Broken Bow

A few weeks ago for Family Home Evening, Nathan was in charge of the Lesson. It was about Nephi, and with Daddy's help, they told the story of when his bow broke. (1Nephi 16: 18-32) It was paraphrased something like this.... When Nephi's bow broke, everyone complained and were mad because they couldn't get food and were hungry. Nephi made a new bow and some arrows and took rocks and a sling and asked his father where to go to get food. His family was humbled because of his words and felt sad that he had complained. Lehi, his father, asked the Lord where he should go to hunt. Nephi went to the top of the mountains, with the directions the Lord had given, and got food for his family. Then, everybody felt sorry they had been angry and thanked God for helping them.

There were two lessons Nathan (and Steve) tried to teach us that night. The first was that when we have a problem, we should try our hardest to do all we can, and then humbly ask for help. We can ask our parents, friends, and Heavenly Father, and there, we can find answers to our hardest problems. Second, was in the very last verse, where it said they humbled themselves and gave thanks. When we receive that help, we must always be humble enough to recognize the blessings given to us and where they came from. We have to thank God for all he does for us, always.

Playing Catch-Up

It's been way too long since I've put up a new post. The problem I have is, like in my regular journals, I don't have time to write when I want to, and then I spend time for weeks (or months and years) playing catch-up. I finally finished everything before Josh's birthday. (Yea, me!) I have three more posts I'd like to put up to share some special Family Home Evenings we've had, and share our Memorial Day activities, and then I should be caught up again. Then, I'll post at least every Sunday and try harder to stay caught up... Always my downfall with journaling... But I'm determined to make blogging work for me. I really like doing it!

My Great Big Birthday Boy

Josh blew out all 6 candles on his camouflage army men cake and made a wish. We had a little family birthday party for him and celebrated as part of Family Home Evening on Monday night. He helped Sarah decorate the living room with streamers, balloons, and army men taped all over them. He also helped me decorate his cake, complete with one army man doing the army crawl and another one face down, "dead" in a large green blob of frosting.

It was so fun to watch him open his presents. He was so excited, so sweet, so grateful and so easy to please. His favorite presents were a real tool set complete with work gloves, tool belt, hard hat and goggles from Grandpa (and Grandma) and an electromagnet experiment kit from his daddy (and me).

He was so excited as he remembered seeing the tool set again after a trip to Harbor Freight Tools with Grandpa. He had wanted it so badly that my Dad went back over to the store and bought it for his birthday that very day...two months early. Josh has been using his hammer and wearing the goggles every day since.

His daddy's present was another favorite because he is very intrigued with electricity and motors (another reason he loves tearing things apart). The electromagnet experiment kit has been fun for him and his daddy to spend time "building things" (really cool things, that really work) together.

I can't believe my sweet little Joshua is already six years old. He's been such a joy and so much fun. I'm really not ready for him to grow up, but I know it has to happen. With his inquisitive and creative mind, and his sweet, loving disposition, I'm sure he has a wonderful future ahead. It really will be fun to see him grow and mature, but I hope he'll always be my fun, busy, cuddly boy!

BYU Women's Conference 2009

Women's Conference this year was wonderful! (As always.) The theme was "In the strength of the Lord." There were so many good talks and inspiring messages. Strength in the Lord is exactly what I've been searching for. I came home with my spiritual bucked filled up again.

Mom, Valarie, Jalynn (Val's sister) and I went together this year. I had a horrible cold the first day, so I think I missed the majority of what the Spirit was trying to teach me. But the second day, I was armed with my Tylenol cold medicine and cough drops, and actually felt a lot better. I know I got more out of the messages that day!

We made sure we spent some time helping with the humanitarian service projects in the Smith Field House this time. We worked on the school kits for an hour or so. It always makes me feel so good to know that some sweet little children somewhere across the world will have new notebooks, crayons and pencils. I wish I could be there to see their faces when those items are received with such gratitude. This was Jalynn's first year, and the service was definitely the highlight for her.

Summed up, here are a few things I learned, or thoughts and quotes that have caused me to reflect, evaluate and re-commit...

• Whether it's dealing with trials, standing strong in my standards, protecting my family, or rearranging my priorities,"In the strength of the Lord" I can do all things.
• Those who rely on the Lord understand the purpose of adversity and the nature of God. They go forward in faith, trusting Him They know that though the winds of mortality will blow, they find joy and peace in knowing the Lord.
• From the New Testament story of John and Jesus walking on the water: 1) Look to Christ and trust Him; 2) Take a leap of faith and follow the Lord; 3) Be aware of distractions; 4) Get back on track - call to Jesus for help; 5) Jesus will stretch forth His hands and bless us in our time of need.
• Do I look for ways to look forward and get up and get moving even when things are hard?
  
• "Your future is as bright as your faith". --Pres. Gordon B. Hinckley
• Keep a clear focus on the blessings of eternal life. It changes the way we talk, act dress and live.
• The Lord has promised to give us the righteous desires of our hearts. If you want to be happy, you must do what you've been told that brings happiness.
• Would you know if the Lord was sending you a message? Turn off the background noise and save some time for quiet moments to ponder. Delicate and sensitive attention is vital to our spirits.
• Build your home facing the temple and the important things will take their proper place in our lives while the unimportant things will drop out completely.
• If we don't put Christ first, it won't matter what else we put first!

Saturday we went for our annual DI shopping trip (Provo DI is huge...), and then to the Tulip Festival at Thanksgiving Point. The flowers were so beautiful. Here's a sampling...

Love the red, white and blue

Me, Valarie and Mom

Valarie and Jalynn

Parrot tulips

The garden walkway

After seeing some of the garden (the free part), we drove up to Gardner Village near Salt Lake. We had lunch at the restaurant in the old mill. It was so yummy, and fun to sit and visit a little more. It started raining after lunch, so we had to run between all the little shops. We had so much fun planning our home decor for when we have unlimited funds. It's definitely where I would go to furnish my house if money didn't matter!

We had such a nice time together. It was kind of sad dropping Jalynn off at the airport and heading home. It meant the weekend was really over. I was ready to be back with my family, but I know that the things I felt and learned sometimes don't stick with me very long after I start back in real life again. I always come home renewed and feeling happy, grateful, and like I can conquer the world. I hope I can apply these thoughts and principles to my life and help them stick this time! My life is so good.

Sweet Sarah...

My sweet Sarah has been sick since Spring Break. The head cold she had that week kept her home the week after, and the two weeks following that she was home throwing up, with what we thought was a PLE relapse. We took her in to the doctor to have her blood tested again, and her albumen level was at 4.0. That's higher than it's been in years! (Here's where we insert a head scratch and a "huh?") It's not very helpful when the doctor is as baffled as you are. In theory, her PLE symptoms are supposed to subside when the protein levels are good. I use the term, "in theory", because Sarah's body rarely does things by the books.

Dr. McInturff, her pediatrician, put in a call to her cardiologist and in consultaion days later, they decided to put her on an antibiotic that would cause better motility in her digetive tract, hoping to get her over this hump. In the meantime, we went to the orthodontist for unrelated matters, where they did a full scan of her head to see if her jaw was having problems that were causing her bite to open again. They discovered that her sinus cavity was about 80% full of junk. I told Dr. McInturff this and he put her on a different antibiotic and treated a sinus infection instead. We thought this would help with the gagging, and therefore the throwing up.

At about the same time we discovered the sinus thing, we also watched her more carefully and noticed that she seemed really down and discouraged again. After a couple of heart-to-heart talks, Steve realized that she was having some serious issues within herself, generally related to her self-worth, if Heavenly Father really loved her, why her prayers weren't being answered, and so on. Steve made her write some statements, positive things that she knew she should believe and could recite until her mind and heart did believe them. She's an amazing young lady. Through this exercise, we learned that really does know the answers to those questions, the discouragement was taking over. Steve taught her that what we focus on is what comes about and that if she focused on the blessings in her life, and these true positive statements, her mind could heal and then, in turn, heal her body. Armed with these statements (he made her say aloud at least 20 times ther first three days), antibiotics, and a plan to get the make-up homework done in reasonable doses, she faced life the next two days with so much courage. By the time Thursday of the third week rolled around, she was feeling much better, not throwing up anymore, and anxious to go to school for one day, and have a weekend to recuperate. Her daddy gave her a priesthood blessing, and she went to bed focused on a successful Friday.

Imagine the joy we felt when she got up Friday morning and announced that she felt great! (We hadn't heard that for weeks.) She went to school, stayed all day, and had a great day. She walked home from the bus stop with a friend, dumped her backpack on the floor with a huge grin and hugged me. It was great to have the real Sarah back again! She then added to my astonishment when she asked if she could walk with her friend to pick up another friend and then walk to the elementary school to watch them practice their flag twirling. Feeling good and acting like a normal teenager? WOW! It was amazing. She had a marvelous day, and I went to bed that night thanking the Lord for His mercy and the incredible blessing of healing for our sweet Sarah.

Spring Break: A Short Trip West

During Spring Break this year, we took the kids to the Boise area to visit family and see some things "out west". Okay, not very far west, but at least we didn't stay home. We first went to Jerome to visit Steve's sister Jennie and her family. The boys played with their cousins (Trey, Landon and Kamryn), Sarah played with the "little sister", Kamryn, and Rachel played with their dog, Harley, and Steve's Blackberry. (She thought she was going to die not being able to check her email for four days!) After the all the boys were in bed, the big girls watched Twilight together...fun flick...and then went to bed.

In the morning, I went to breakfast with one of my college roommates (Nichole Hopkins Prince) that I recently reconnected with. We had a wonderful visit, like only a year or so had passed (would you believe almost 18?). It was sad to part, but we promised to get together again, with the kids, this summer.

We traveled to Caldwell to Mike and Krystal's house and spent the next two days with them. Mike's birthday was that day, and we had a little party for him that night. The next morning, Mike and Krystal had both taken the day off so we met Kristina and her kids at the Idaho Discovery Center in Boise. What a fun place! We spent about three hours there discovering science together. I was really surprised how fun it was for the little ones all the way up to the adults.

Joshua, Bryson, Rachel, Julie, Nathan, Steve & Sarah
at the Discovery Center

Here are a few of our favorite things...

The robotic head, complete with a button to make the eyes blink.

Nathan's favorite hang-out was the grocery store. It had little shopping carts, pretend food, manual-crank conveyor belts, beeping scan pads, and cash registers. So cute!

Josh and Bryson liked watching the indoor tornado.

The bubble wall was one of my favorites!

The boys liked trying to put their hands through without popping the bubble. ...Oops!!

Joshua's very favorite thing was the "electricity" station where he could make connections with wires to make bells ring, buzzers buzz, and lights light up. It sure made his face light up when he figured out by himself how to use the buzzer button to turn on the light! What a smart kid.

Bryson's favorite thing was the giant microscope. He watched microscopic little worms wiggle around the slide. He was so intrigued, he watched them for a really long time.

Just a note (because I know you're wondering): The girls were there, too, but not often where the camera was. They were usually off with their cousins. Also, Sarah wasn't feeling very well (she had a head cold that agitated her PLE), so she was a really good sport, but did a lot of sitting and didn't have as much fun as the rest of us.

Later that night, Krystal took us all to the YMCA and we swam. It was a really fun pool. They had a zero-depth pool with fountains, a lazy river, and a water slide. We all had a fun time, but were totally worn out by the time we got back home. The kids slept pretty well that night!

The next morning, we packed up and went over to Kristina's new house in Meridian for breakfast. The house is beautiful. They seem happy to be there, and loving all the space. We visited for a while and then headed back home to Pocatello. It was a just right trip. Just the right amount of time away, just the right amount of fun, just the right amount of visit time. We had a really good time together.