Working Mom

About a year ago last spring, I was asking about openings at the school, looking for part-time work, hoping to be able to augment our income to help even out the deficits caused by owning two homes and not very reliable renters. At the time, the only position that was open was one that would require me to work all day, a couple days a week. With Nathan being only in kindergarten, I didn't see how that would work very well for our family. We prayed about it, and decided it just wasn't time yet, and we needed to trust in Heavenly Father (since He led us here in the first place) and trim the budget wherever we could.

Then, later that summer, when I dropped Joshua off for summer reading program, the vice-principal asked me if I was interested in a part-time job at the school as a morning aide in one of the classrooms. I went home and talked to Steve about it again. We prayed again, and decided that this fit into our lives better, and wouldn't cause too much stress for me or our family. (I am first, and foremost a mother, and I love being able to be home with my kids!) So, I interviewed and got the job! We felt like it was a blessing and answer to our prayers.

I was blessed to be assigned to 3rd Grade, to work with Mrs. Mary Harris, one of the most amazing teachers I know. She teaches kids to be responsible, holds them accountable, and empowers them to be the best they can be. Their motto in 3rd grade is "If you don't get it today, you might get it tomorrow. But only if you try." As the year progressed, I learned to really love Mrs. Harris. We became very good friends as we struggled through her mother's stroke and Sarah's illness together. We work well together, and agree on almost everything, including how to raise kids and having unwavering faith in God as our strength. She is an amazing teacher, but also a wonderful friend, whom I gained much respect for and support from.

Fast forward... in retrospect... 

Nearing the end of the school year, the other aide left and I was given the opportunity to work more hours. That helped financially, but it also meant more time away in the afternoon working and in the evenings doing the things I couldn’t do during the day…  I have since discovered that during that time, I was kind of on autopilot, whatever event, chore, or concern filled my life at the moment is what received my attention.

I love my job, but that 8-week experience taught me that there is nothing more important to me than being home. I discovered that my presence in the afternoon and evenings really does matter in my family. Did they survive? Yes. Are they unchanged? No, not really. Through this experience we all changed, and I’m grateful that we had an opportunity this summer to regroup and refocus on what really matters most and, working together to make our home and family what we want it to be, even when Mommy is working.

Young Women Broadcast... Live!

As Sarah was approaching her last few months in Young Women's, I felt like I needed to seize the opportunity to take the girls to Salt Lake to the Young Women Broadcast and see it live. I've wanted to for the past few years, but as a stake leader, felt like we needed to stay here and support local viewing and dessert... looking back, I'm really not sure why, but just never did it. Well, not having that reason anymore, I decided it was something we just HAD to do, and since Steve agreed with me, we just did it!

I arranged with the Stake Presidency to get tickets and we took a Saturday trip to Salt Lake on March 26th. The girls had decided to take turns riding in the front and choosing the music. We sang along, laughed and talked non-stop the whole way. We stopped along the way at Kim's Fashions in Layton (to buy $3 earring/necklace sets) and then to the Olive Garden for lunch. Rachel and Sarah both had raviolis (Sarah had portabella and Rachel had cheese), and I had the Venetian apricot grilled chicken (only 6 WW PlusPoints and so delicious!) We went over to the Layton Hills Mall to shop, but after Rachel spent all her money at the first store, we just walked around to see what a real mall looked like.

When we got to Salt Lake, we spent a long time looking for a place to park, and then walked to Temple Square. We tried to visit the Relief Society Building, but it was closed. The girls (in anticipation of a beautiful "spring" day) weren't dressed warm enough for the cloudy, windy, cool weather, so we didn't wander as far as we had originally planned. We walked over to the Joseph Smith Memorial Building and saw the "hats" display they had in there. We rode the elevator to the top and took some great pictures. We also walked through the family history center. I think the girls were impressed.

The Salt Lake Temple and the Conference Center from the top floor of the Joseph Smith Memorial Building

My beautiful daughters and the temple

We went over to the Conference center and got our tickets and decided to just change clothes and wait inside for the hour and a half until the meeting started. We ended up with amazing seats--being there so early, and enjoyed the time to sit and relax for a while. I loved the value-colored banners they had hung by the organ pipes with the three symbols (laurel wreath, rose, and beehive) on them. The touches like those and the beautiful spring flowers and grasses behind the podium created such a great atmosphere for such a special meeting.

The Conference Center. We loved the YW banners hanging above the doors. Such a nice touch that made the girls feel so special and important!

We were only about 14 rows back, on the side where the Prophet enters and exits. We were so excited to be sitting so close we could see actually see the wrinkles on his face when he smiled!

The meeting was so great. It is so different being there, watching it live, and feeling the spirits of all those beautiful daughters of God surrounding you. The love emanating from those beautiful General Young Women leaders was almost tangible. I love the videos they show in the middle of the broadcast that depict the righteousness and virtue of beautiful young women living the gospel all over the world. I have such a soft spot in my heart for these sweet daughters of God and my eyes often swell with tears of gratitude when I hear of my girls and others keeping the commandments and living the gospel so steadfastly. When the meeting was over, and President Monson and his counselors left, he spent quite a while waving at all those sweet girls. Then I was overcome with gratitude, and with tears streaming down my face, I testified of his calling and told the girls that I hoped they understood how blessed they are to have this gospel...to have the direction and resources they need to navigate this crazy world. There are so many around them that don't even know who they are, let alone why they're here or where they're going. After that, I hugged them each for a long time and told them how much I appreciate their goodness and example and that they wanted to be there with me. Oh, how I love my sweet daughters. I am so honored and grateful to be their mother.

It was funny, walking quickly down the sidewalk back to our car, we noticed that all those girls, moms and leaders (including us) were waking arm in arm or hand in hand, like they felt a closeness that they didn't want to let go of. We hurried to the car (it started raining) and headed home. Sarah rationed the Cadbury Mini-eggs (simply protecting me and Rachel from ourselves) and then went to sleep, and Rachel sat in the front seat with me and played DJ as we talked. The snow storm on the way home was interesting. As we went over the Malad pass, we had horizontal snow clusters coming right at us. Visibility was almost zero, so I slowed to a mere 35mph and followed the tail lights of the car in front of us, hoping that driver could see better than I could. We made it safely home, and went to bed tired, happy, and grateful.

2010: Our Year in Review

If I was into sending out Christmas letters with our postcards, I would have sent a letter that was way too long, bragged way too much about my wonderful family, and still wouldn't have even touched on the enormous amount of gratitude we feel  for all we've been blessed with this year.

I do know, however, how much I love reading about all of my treasured friends and loved ones' families, so for those who took the time to search out my blog to see what we've been up to, here's our year in review (and what you would have read, had I sent out a Christmas letter this year)....

The two most exciting things we can share from 2010 is our family vaction this summer and our move this fall. We spent the first half of the year saving our pennies and in June, we packed up our Suburban to the very top (not kidding) and drove to Alaska. We spent almost a month traveling through Canada and Alaska. We drove about 8,000 miles in our car, rode to the top of the Space Needle, hiked a glacier, saw the ocean and lots of wildlife, caught our “first fish”,  rode a ferry, dug up clams, played with cousins, swam in a hot spring, camped in the rain, and had many other grand adventures. We had a wonderful time together and have so many happy memories! In August, a wonderful opportunity and blessing was dropped in our lap, and we took it and moved forward with faith! We moved moved into a new pre-loved house that is just perfect for us! It has lots of room inside and out, and is absolutely beautiful! We really like our new ward, and love that we have so many new friends already. We've all adjusted pretty quickly, which helped our new house feel like "home" almost from the very first day. It's just where we're supposed to be!

Steve (our Daddy) still works for U.S. Congressman Mike Simpson. He loves his job, and also had an opportunity to help his boss get re-elected by working part-time at night and on weekends on the primary campaign. By June, he wasn't quite busy enough, so he accepted the Mayor's appointment to fill a vacant seat on the Pocatello City Council. It's been an eye-opening experience, and as much as he loves working with the other members of the board, he's really had to make some tough decisions and then stand behind what he feels is right and best for Pocatello. We're so proud of him. As entrepreneurs do, he's also found time to pad the family income with his direct mail business which helped out a lot during the campaign season (and our move) with 65,000 pieces of mail we designed, had printed, labeled, and sent out for several candidates. He has also been crazy busy this year getting our old house ready to rent, working out the little kinks in our new house, serving on a couple of other community and state boards, spending incredible quality time with his family, and tinkering in a couple of other business ventures. He was also recently called as the Cub Master in our new ward. He really likes having the opportunity to be the "funnest" 10 year-old in the ward!

Julia (Me, the Mommy) still loves being a stay-at-home mom. My kids are my life and I love that I have the opportunity to be totally involved in their activities and schools. This was also a year of change and growth for me as I discovered and learned much about myself and developed many new physical and spiritual strengths. I end the year much healthier and happier than I started it, and much more the person I want to be. I spent  a few months preparing for our trip and then a few more preparing to move. It's been a crazy year, but so many blessings have been thrown our way, I know that the Lord has watched over and blessed me to be able to keep up and be the kind of mother and wife I want to be. On our 3rd Sunday in our new ward, I was called to serve as the 2nd Counselor in the Relief Society Presidency. In the short time I have served there (almost 2 months now), my heart has been changed, and I've seen the Lord's plan for our family start to unfold. As you can guess, I haven't had a lot of spare time for hobbies this year, but I still love baking, blogging, and reading, and playing with my family the most.

Sarah (17) has had a pretty good year. It's been a healthy one (heart-wise) with relatively little action in that department. She found out this year that she has a pretty severe case of Scoliosis, which has caused much more heartache and many more challenges, but takes it all in stride and remains her sweet little self. She is a senior in High school, and is beginning the new year with college and scholarship applications dancing in her head. Besides our family trip and moving, the highlight of her year was attending EFY at BYU-Idaho. It was such an amazing experience for her and she came back a changed teenager! She loves to spend time with our family, and all of her extra time with friends (live or on Facebook).

Rachel (14) has become the best traveled member of our family. In March, she went on the American Heritage Tour with other 8th Graders in the community. Her favorite things were spending time in New York City, and seeing "Wicked" on Broadway, and making so many new friends! She earned all $3,000 herself (with help from her terrific parents) and had a wonderful experience. She also started high school this year and absolutely loves it! Being in a "real school" now, she can wear make-up, "real clothes" and make many new friends. She stays busy with piano lessons (taking and teaching) and friends, and thoroughly enjoys having her own room!

Bryson (11) is in 5th Grade now and still loves school. He was recently released from his occupational therapy and had grown and matured in such amazing ways. We hardly ever see evidence of his Asperger's anymore, and his confidence is apparent in his constant smile. His drawing talent has continued to blossom as he draws everything from the most detailed dragons you've ever seen to cartoon mice with goofy grins. He absolutely loves scouts, and earned his Arrow of Light just before we moved. His new scout leaders are amazing and he is looking forward to camping and many other adventures in the spring with his new troop. With our move came a whole handful of friends just down the street, a few he already knew from school. Having so many friends to play with all the time is a new thing in his life, but just one more blessing that came with our new house.

Joshua (7) is in 2nd grade and has discovered the joy of reading. He loves non-fiction the best, and any information he can gather about space, electricity and mysteries of the natural world are the best. He still loves to take apart and build things, but has discovered a new love for science experiments. He loves to draw, too, but his drawings are usually of mechanical or body systems, or data charts from his experiments. He also loves to play the wii, run around the yard, and play with his brothers and friends.

Nathan (5) is spending his last year at home with Mom. He is such a fun boy. He spent the first part of the year being a pirate, and the last part of it being a scarecrow. He often changes several times a day, and mom has to be careful to keep up. He also loves to draw and shows much promise of following in his big brother's footsteps. He started sounding out words this fall and has recently "published" his first book, "The Wizrd of Pos." He also loves running errands with Mommy, reading books, visiting Great-Grandma Mangum, and following his brothers around and playing legos with them.

Our family has been blessed beyond measure this year, and knowing that our Heavenly Father loves and watches over us is among our greatest treasures. We are so grateful for our forever family and all the amazing things that have happened this year to help seal our bonds of love and friendship. We pray that you, our family and friends near and far, have also felt the love and blessings of God rest upon you this year. We love you and hope you all have a merry Christmas and an amazing new year!

Christmas Blessings

I just tucked five of my most amazing blessings in bed on this beautiful Christmas night, and headed to bed with tears streaming down my face and a giant lump in my throat. I felt I just had to take a minute to record the gratitude I feel gushing from my heart. I am so blessed to have such amazing children. They are so eager to do what is right, so happy to serve, so thoughtful and kind (most of the time), and very forgiving (the rest of the time). They love to learn, thrive on love, and love to make me smile. They each have such different personalities, and I wouldn't change a single thing about them. Those individuals are so very extraordinary I am so thankful for each of them, and so grateful that they are mine - forever. I went back into their rooms and told each of them that tonight...that I was thankful that Heavenly Father gave them to me and that they were part of our family. That's when the tears and lump started forming. What a great way to end a wonderful Christmas day. Now I get to crawl into bed with their father - the love of my life, my best friend, and the other greatest blessing in my life -  and snuggle down in his arms and cry with gratitude some more. I can't believe how much my Heavenly Father must love me to give me the privilege of loving such choice people, and helping me realize it again tonight. I'm still sitting here wondering if it's the tiredness from getting up at 5:00 this morning, the lingering sweet Christmas spirit we started the day with, or the nyquil I took to help me sleep thorough my cold, but whatever helped prepare me for this experience tonight, I'm...well, ...grateful.

Up To Our Eyeballs in Chocolate

"All I really need is love... But a little chocolate now and then doesn't hurt." (Lucy Van Pelt from "Peanuts" by Charles M. Schultz)

For Valentiene's day, Rachel sold handmade chocolates to earn the last $600 for her American Heritage trip. She went through Grandma Dixon's boxes of chocolate molds (she used to have a business) and decided what she wanted to make. I created a brochure for her and Steve and I sent it out to about 100 people by email. Grandma also took some to work and put them in the teacher's lounge with some samples. Well, when all was said and done, she brought in $1,369 ($1126 after costs), made 24 chocolate bars, 237 trays of heart mints, 459 heart suckers, 95 circle suckers with colored hearts, and 19 candy dishes filled with another 57 trays of mints. Through the undying devotion and help of her mom, and pulling her first ever all-nighter, she pulled out almost twice as much money as she needed for her trip. I was amazed at how hard she worked and how supportive our friends and parents were with her project. Several people sent the email out to their friends, and others gave her donations above and beyond what they had bought. Although we were exhausted and still scraping chocolate off the kitchen counters, chairs and floor for days, we were so grateful and it was a great experience... for both of us.

...And as if I hadn't had enough fun with Rachel, I decided this was how Sarah would earn her tuition money for her week-long summer session of EFY in August. So, we started the process again, but this time with Easter Chocolates. I knew, going into it, that Sarah is not as self-motivated, and that she couldn't stay up late and give up her sleep, so we planned to work all day while she was home on Spring Break. But, because of timing troubles, we only got half of the orders that she needed. So, we extended the order deadline for another week and got twice as many orders as we had before. She had school the week we did the second half of her orders, so this project became more of mom's than Sarah's once she went back to school. But, we did it again, and Sarah earned all the money she needed to pay her tuition and pay back all the money she owed us from fall coed. In the end, Sarah earned $485, and we made 12 chocolate bunnies, 31 bunny suckers, 32 bags of mints, and 199 peanut-butter filled eggs with 87 of those personalized and decorated. The eggs were kind of my project, so Sarah did most of the other things while I worked on those. I put in a couple of late nights, but I was grateful we didn't get the larger orders like Rachel's project. It was scaled down perfectly for the need and the kid. So, with the money she had in her bank, Sarah is completely out of debt, and a free woman! She paid us back the money for her tuition and the money she owed for coed and still has enough money for camp and some spending cash for EFY. She's also been babysitting a lot, realizing that money is much more valuable to her than before. It was a good learning experience for her, too.

I had a moment of insanity (must have been the lack of sleep) while I was working on Sarah's eggs where I thought about what a wonderful little business this could be for my girls. They could do parties, weddings, holiday treats and do it in their own time, from home. My mom has all sorts of molds and we could find suppliers for the chocolate and molds at wholesale prices...my mind was spinning, thinking of how to market it and what we'd need to do to get it going. (I think my husband has finally converted me to the entrepreneurial way of thinking. It kind of spirals out of control once you get those thoughts in there). It sounded good until the next day when I started thinking about how much of my time would be swallowed up in "helping" them. Maybe if they ever want a stay at home job bad enough, I'll help them again, or, if I get bored and need something to do (hahaha...) once my kids are all in school, I could do it myself. Until then, we'll just keep it to making occasional birthday and holiday treats for the family and remember this wonderful experience with my girls where we worked toward financial goals together while we were up to our eyeballs in chocolate!

A Patriarchal Blessing

On Saturday, February 28th, Sarah received her Patriarchal Blessing. She had been preparing for a few weeks by fasting, praying, reading articles, and having several conversations about them with me and Steve. She had an interview with the bishop, and called and made her appointment. I think we were all a little nervous, maybe for the same reasons. I was little worried, because of how many times we've almost lost her and how uncertain her future is to us, that the answers we've sought for so long might be revealed and not be the ones we really wanted. There are worries I had about her future and her potential I didn't want confirmed. I think Steve was having much of the same feelings. Sarah was nervous, as most recipients are, because of the unknown. Although she never expressed these feelings, I'm pretty sure she was also having some of the same feelings we were.

The stake Patriarch, Paul P. Peterson, is a very humble, soft-spoken man with a kind and gentle voice and demeanor. He introduced us to his wife and we sat in the living room and visited casually for a few minutes as we all got to know each other a little better. Then he took us downstairs to the room where he had the recorder and chair set up to give her blessing. He spoke beautiful, comforting words, revealing truths, and many specific instructions for Sarah. I know I shouldn't have been, but I was amazed when he mentioned the hardship of illness without knowing anything about her health history. It was a beautiful blessing, full of comfort, revelation, and hope. I was so grateful to be present, as I believe those words were something I needed to hear at this time of her life almost as much as she did. And though he didn't speak much, the tears that ran down his face and the constant squeeze of his had let me know that Steve was feeling much the same as I. Sarah had invited Rachel, as her best friend and support, and though she didn't say much either, I know she was touched by the words he spoke and saw her big sister in a little different light. It was a beautiful experience and we had such a beautiful peaceful spirit with us that none of us wanted to leave or talk. I'm really looking forward to having similar spiritual experiences with my other four children. I pray that Sarah will treasure her blessing, read and ponder if often, and follow with exactness the counsel she was given by her Heavenly Father. I also pray she will never forget how much He loves her.

Our Cat, Lady

A few months ago (I think it was January 12th), our kitty Lady, who we have had for over 13 years passed away. She had been getting skinnier and acting more lethargic over the months, and not eating very much anymore. One night while I was at a Relief Society meeting, the kids called me crying and saying that they thought she was about to die. I came home to find them all sitting on the living room floor gathered around her and petting her. Her breathing was very slow and labored, she couldn't stand up, and she didn't seem to care who touched her or where. I knew they were right and after a few comforting words, we had a prayer and asked Heavenly Father to help her to die quickly so she wouldn't suffer anymore. The kids all took turns holding her, crying, and telling her goodbye. I wrapped her in a blanket and took her to my bedroom where she could be alone. The kids (especially Rachel) had witnessed the death of Rachel's hamster last fall, and though we knew Lady would soon follow, none of them were prepared to watch her take her last breaths. (That one was pretty traumatic as their first real experience with death.) So, we put her in my bedroom, and after they each got to say goodbye again, we turned out the light and shut the door. During family prayer, we asked again if Heavenly Father would take good care of her and help her die soon and peacefully. A couple of hours later, when I went to check on her, she was dead and lying so very still. I was grateful that my children's prayers had been answered and that they had been able to say goodbye properly. Steve took care of her that night and in the morning, we had a sort of memorial service. We talked about how much we (mostly the kids) loved her and good memories we had of times she made us happy, made us laugh, or even made us crazy. We had prayer again, and thanked Heavenly Father for her and for answering our prayers. It was a tearful morning and kind of a hard day for the four at school, but as time has passed, the hurt has healed, too.

Steve brought her home when Rachel was just a tiny baby after a convention in Las Vegas he attended with a friend from his mission. They had a bunch of kittens to give away, and by the time Steve had dropped him off at home, he had a kitten in his hand. I don't think I'll ever understand how Neal got to him (Steve hates cats), but the kids sure loved our Lady. When she was really little, I kind of liked her too, but as time went on, my allergies got worse, so we simply tolerated each other, as long as we kept our distance from each other. She was always really good with the kids and would let them pet her until she got tired of it, and then would just walk away. She only liked to be petted on the colored parts of her fur, so I taught all the little people who wanted to play with her to not touch her white parts (her feet and tummy). When she was younger, she used to crouch down beside the wall in the kitchen, and when the kids would walk through the doorway, she'd jump across the doorway, side-ways and spread-eagle to pounce on them. It was really funny, and my favorite memory of her. Her favorite places to sleep were in the sunshine on the living room floor and on one of the boys' beds. She really was a pretty cat (until she got so skinny). She was mostly good and definitely loved.

Job Security

In January, Steve accepted an offer for a part-time job working on U.S. Congressman Mike Simpson's re-election campaign. I call it job security, because that's who he works for in his full-time job. Since he started there in January of 2009, they learned that he was a hard worker, has a lot of connections in Southeast Idaho and obviously had a vested interest in the cause. Steve knew the extra money would be a blessing to help us reach our goal of getting out of debt, buy a few things that we needed (like a new refrigerator), and give him the opportunity to make even more connections in the political world. Besides believing his boss is by far the best man for the job, we kind of need to stay employed. So, after much talk of what that would require of me as the mommy suddenly losing much my incredible husband's help, and pledging my support in this endeavor, he took the job.

The past 3 months have been a little tumultuous in the campaign, as the lies began to fly early from the others running in the primary election against Mike. But after attending several events and a debate, Steve is feeling a little more comfortable with the chances of his boss winning the primary. He is enjoying his associations with the others involved, and is working hard to fulfill his commitments. On the home-front, my life has been crazy busy and it's been hard for me to not accept my husband's gentle kindness as he uncomplainingly takes over to let me fulfil my responsibilities. I realized one day as I looked at his tired, haggled, burdened expression that in recent weeks as he had been helping me with the family, he had not been able to give the campaign the attention that he should have been. I made him promise to be a little more selfish and let me know when work needed to be done so I could make other arrangements or skip some of my things to take care of the kids. So, we are now working together a little better with the arrangement of not having him so available to me. I'm working harder on asking others for help, learning to say no sometimes, and my life has slowed down a little. So, I think we will survive this.

On the upside, with our beginning bonus and tax return, we've payed off all our credit cards, and our only debt is now the house! We've bought a new refrigerator (and a treadmill), and are saving the rest of the the extra money for our trip to Alaska and to build up our food storage. We have prayed rather fervently for a long time to be blessed with ways to pay off our debts. I know the Lord answers the prayers of those who are trying to be obedient. Sometimes He doesn't make it very easy, but it's always there, and available to those who are willing to pay the price! ...And we are so grateful!

Snowshoeing with Bryson

In January, Bryson's fourth grade class went snowshoeing at the Mink Creek Nordic Center near Pocatello. Steve took the day off so I could go with Bryson's class. We had such an amazing time together. I borrowed snow gear from my sister-in-law, and for the first time in my life in Idaho, I was actually warm while being in the snow all day. First, we gathered in the yurt for instruction and then got our snowshoes. They were a lot different than we expected, nothing like the "tennis rackets" we expected from watching cartoons. We went on a hike (about 3 miles round-trip) over hills, through gullies, and across fields. The guide stopped often enough that we didn't get too tired, and taught little nature lessons throughout the hike. We also played hide and seek in a gully. It was so fun, so beautiful, and we had such a good time together. My little Bryson was such a trooper. He just kept going with an energy I hadn't seen in him before. I think it had something to do with being in nature. It must have energized him.

Trudging down the trail

Rabbit tracks in the snow Bryson spotted in a clearing

Bryson's class

A tree-chair we just HAD to try out

After the hike, we went back to the yurt and had lunch. Then we went back outside and the grown-ups (the old tired adults) watched the kids play games in the snow... tundra, fox and geese, and capture the flag. The grown-ups were actually recruited for the last game, and that's when I was exhausted. Imagine a 37 year-old, running through the snow in snow bibs and boots trying to catch 10 year-old boys... Yeah. I was pretty sore. But, it was a glorious day and such a great time with my Bryson boy!

A Brand New Basement Bedroom

The girls' Christmas gift from Santa (and Mom and Dad) this year was new bedspreads and pillows for their bedroom. We also spent days (literally) cleaning out, throwing away, reorganizing and then redecorating the whole thing. The girls threw away and got rid of more than 2/3 of the stuff in their room. I was so proud of them!! They helped paint and Steve put up more trim and new carpet. The carpet was given to us from some good friends. It fit, almost exactly perfect, including the closet, with no seams! Must have been meant to be! I wish I had before pictures to show how awful it was before, but here's proof of how absolutely cute it is now!!

Rachel's bed and wall...

Sarah's bed and wall...

The very organized shelves and closet...

One of the best things about their new look is that they love it so much that they love to hang out there and it is is clean almost all of the time! The clothes only stay on the floor for a few days at a time, and the junk disappears at least every Saturday! I'm so proud of them, and it was a great learning/teaching/relationship building experience for them! It's one of the best things we've could have done for (and with) them! Great job, girls!

Dixon Christmas FHE Traditions

The Sunday before Christmas, we all went to Grandma and Grandpa Dixon's house for our annual Christmas clam chowder and Family Home Evening. As always, the clam chowder was amazing (my mom's is the best ever) and the kids were very excited. Grandma had purchased nativity costumes from Oriental Trading and the kids had colored robes, hats, halos and crowns to wear, complete with crooks for the shepherds and gifts for the wise men. As Steve read the scriptural account of Jesus' birth, the kids acted it out and we paused for photo-ops in between each scene.

The Holy Family...
Kassandra (Baby Jesus), Becca (Mary) and Justin (Joseph)

The angels (Samantha and Macey) declare glad tidings of great joy
to the shepherds (Bryson, Nathan, Jessica, Joshua and Kyle)

Wise men (girls) traveling from afar to worship the Holy Child...

Sarah, Hailey, Rachel and Shannon
(Angel Macey smiling on, as I'm sure the angels did!)

My happy little shepherd, Nathan

...And the silly ones, Bryson and Josh

Following the nativity, we had a program where each family presented Christmas songs or stories they wanted to share. There was enough of the spiritual side of Christmas to balance out the sillies. We got to hear a flute, guitar, cello, trumpet, piano and beautiful voices. It's such a good opportunity for the kids to perform recital or concert numbers and share their talents with the family. Michael and Shaunna and their families were missing, so it didn't quite feel right, but it was nice to carry on the Dixon Christmas FHE traditions another year!

Cousins' Christmas Party

I talked last summer about how my mom is either amazing or totally crazy that she holds the cousins' campout each year with all the grandchildren. I recall that I decided she was just amazing. And that brings me to another tradition she does with them every year. My mom's favorite holiday is Christmas, hands down. She loves the decorations, the smells, the treats, the lights, the songs....everything about the season. In the past, she's been known to have the decorations up right after Thanksgiving dinner and not down until after new year's. Needless to say, she's carried that love of the holiday to her grandchildren with her annual Cousins' Christmas Party. This year's party included...

Decorating Cookies - red, white and green frosting and any sprinkles and decorations you could think of! A child's paradise. Joshua's frosting was twice as thick as any of his cookies!

Making Nativity Snow Globes - I got to help with this project. They were really cute. The little ones especially loved them.

Story Time - Grandma read one of her favorite books, "The Mitten", by Jan Bret. She gave each family an anniversary edition of this book to take home.

They also colored fuzzy poster style ornaments, glued together cheese and cracker candy trains, had lunch, and played together (always with Christmas music in the background, the obnoxious kind just for kids). Besides the book, she also gave each family a little nativity that the kids can touch all they want to! The kids had a ball, Grandma was wiped out, and it only took most of the afternoon to clean up the mess! What a saint my mom is for keeping these traditions alive. My kids have the greatest memories of these times with their cousins and Grandma. Hope I'm crazy enough to be such a good grandma!

Christmas at Our House

We were all counting down the days, but nobody in our house was as excited for Christmas to come as Nathan was. He wore his Santa stuff, shoved toys in bags, and wandered around the house yelling "Ho, Ho, Ho! Merry Christmas!" It was so cute!

Well, the blessed day finally came and after eating our traditional pizza, we opened up our annual Christmas Eve jammies! Nothing feels better on the body that brand new fuzzy fleece...

We hopped in the car and went for a drive to see the lights. It was so late that we had to wake Nathan up when we got there so he wouldn't miss them. Poor tired little thing. After we got home and had some special gourmet hot chocolate and egg nog, put out snacks for Santa and the reindeer, and checked the internet to see where Santa was, we tucked the kids all in their beds. They all sleep together, just like I used to with my brothers and sisters when we were young. I have such good memories of those times. Well, just like we used to, the kids had a hard time settling down. I heard one of the boys tell the girls to hurry and go to sleep so Santa would come faster. It was cute. Steve and I went downstairs to wrap up some more presents and do the grown-up thing and went to bed when all was quiet and perfect for Santa's arrival.

The next morning came really early... I think it was 5:30 this year. Thanks to the big kids, the little ones never sleep in too late! Santa was so good to us this year, bringing very special presents for each one of the kids. He really outdid himself this time!

New bedspreads and things to redecorate a dark
basement bedroom

Castle blocks for building and playing with
medieval treasures

A work bench to build with dad
...and wood from Santa's own workshop!

A genuine pirate treasure chest,
complete with pirate treasure and clothes

We had so much fun opening presents, watching each person open one at a time. It made it last a lot longer, and it was fun to enjoy each moment together.

I got some new clothes and shoes, a wii workout game, jewelry, and some other great presents. My special present this year was from Rachel. She learned a song by Taylor Swift called "The Best Day", and sang it for me while she played it on her guitar. (You can listen to Taylor's version on my music player.) She had typed up the last refrain and framed it for me to keep. It made me cry. The best presents always do! She cried too. It was so sweet, straight from her heart to mine, and such a special mom and daughter moment.

After all the presents were unwrapped, closely examined, separated from the trash and wrappings, and played with for a while, we had breakfast...our traditional Ham and Cheese Souffle. The rest of the morning (it was only 8:00 when breakfast was over) was spent re-examining, re-separating, and playing with our new toys. We got dressed and spent a wonderful afternoon and had dinner at my mom and dad's. It was such a nice day!

When it was all over and the kids were tucked in later that night, Steve and I (like every year) sat and cuddled on the couch as we marveled at the blessings we have. It was a wonderful day, and though we also got some very fun and special presents, the greatest presents we've ever received are the incredible family we shared so much joy with that day, and the knowledge of the birth of our Savior and the incredible love He has for each of us. Christmas is truly the most wonderful time of the year!!

Christmas with the Browns

The day after Christmas, we drove down to Utah to meet Steve's family for Christmas again. We had a fun day playing and visiting together. All of Steve's brothers and sisters were there, with most of their kids. It had been such a long time since we'd been with all of them. It was so fun! We also had the traditional "Brown Family Christmas Carol" program. Families sang, kids performed, adults read and family members shared their testimonies. What a beautiful spirit and testimony-building moment together. Sometimes there is whining and complaining about having to do the annual program, but every single year it brings us closer together and the Spirit touches our hearts one way or another. (Thanks, Mom and Dad Brown for putting up with us and making us do it every year. We'll never admit it, but we love it, and will never let it go...it's part of Christmas!)

The next day was Sunday. Steve's nephew, Matthew, had returned home from his mission in Ecuador, just in time for Christmas. He gave his talk in Sacrament meeting, and then we had a fiesta afterward with his extended family. He's such an amazing young man. As his sister says, he's just so "shiny". He's got such a beautiful kind spirit, radiating with light and joy, and grew into an incredible man on his mission. It's amazing what placing your boy into the Lord's hands for two years can do for him, not to mention all the lives he touched!

We spent the whole weekend with Steve's parents. His sister, Jennie and her family were there, too, and Kathy's family came to visit. We played games, did puzzles, played in the hot tub (kids played), talked, ate (always lots of delicious food at Grandma Brown's!), and had a marvelous time together.

Jennie's Trey, Bryson, Grandma Brown, Me, and Sarah
playing a very intense game of Doodle Dice

Steve's parents: Grandma and Grandpa Brown
(Yes, he is trying to shove that ball in Josh's mouth.
And...he must have deserved it!)

Dad's legs, Mom, Kathy's Cami and her baby Alex, Kathy's Britney,
Sarah and Me (wearing Nate's pirate treasure) watching a funny
home video from 30 years ago together

Me and Jennie's little Kamryn

I've decided that Heavenly Father was really smart when he planned for us to live our lives with families. Family brings so much joy. I'm so blessed to have three incredible families - the one I was born into, the one I married into, and the one Steve and I are raising. How can a girl be so lucky to have so many incredible people in her life to be guided, comforted and blessed by?

He Watches Over Me

I woke up this morning thinking about Veterans' Day and feeling gratitude for the many blessings I have in this free country and those who have sacrificed so I could have them. I obviously had no idea what was in store for me today. My gratitude for other things was enlarged as the day went on...

I was bringing Sarah back from school and ran over something on the freeway. By the time I had taken the exit, I could feel the pulling and hear the awful noise of a very flat tire. As soon as I could, I pulled over and parked. With Steve being out of town and unable to rescue me, Nathan and I would have to fend for ourselves. I remembered I was a grown-up resolved to handle this on my own. I remembered that I had been too lazy to put away the stroller yesterday, so it was still in the car. I was wearing my pajama pants and a trashed sweatshirt, but had (for some unknown reason) put on real shoes instead of my slippers, like I usually do. So, Nathan and I got out and walked home. It was only about 5 blocks. We went home and I exercised, showered, and tried to think through what to do.

I called David to see if he was available to help during his lunch break, if I couldn't do this by myself. He said he was available and happy to help. When we were ready, we loaded into the truck to go take off the flat tire and get it fixed. However, the truck wouldn't start (not really a surprise, but I was hoping). Nathan and I loaded instead into the stroller again and walked back to the suburban. Much to my dismay, I discovered that the jack and lug wrench were bolted into the cubby to keep them from rattling. I got the wrench free, but the bolts on the jack wouldn't budge. I decided I would just wait for David to come rescue me. Just as I was getting out of the back of the suburban, a nice man pulled up in his truck and asked if I needed help. After I explained what was going on, he said his name was Mark and he actually had a hydraulic jack and lug wrench in the back of his truck. He spent the next half hour taking off my tire and changing it to the spare. (Anybody else know how to get that "spare tire holder" down from under the bottom of an SUV? I never would have figured that one out on my own! Well... unless I read the directions.) Anyway, he got the tires changed and things cleaned up for me, wished me well, and got me on my way. I thanked him and asked if there was anything I could do for him, and, as I expected, he told me no and that he was just glad to be able to help. We parted ways and I headed to the tire store where they repaired my flat tire. Four hours and and only $10.95 later, the whole ordeal was behind us.

On my way home, I reflected on the many things that were in place to make that difficulty as painless as possible for me. Shoes instead of slippers, a stroller, how close we were to home, nowhere else we had to be, a brother available to help, Mark - my hero of the day - who just happened to be in the neighborhood at that time with the jack and wrench we needed in his truck and nowhere else to be, and a simple flat to repair instead of a whole tire to replace. The more I think about it, the more little details I see and marvel at how much my Heavenly Father must love me. He couldn't keep my tire from going flat, but He softened the blow the best He could. I don't believe in coincidences. I believe in miracles.

Family Pictures 2009

We haven't had our family pictures taken since Joshua was about 6 months old. Yeah, six years ago. Well, we wanted a bunch of fun pictures and didn't want to spend our life savings, so David spent the good part of a Saturday in October taking our family pictures. He has a new hobby in photography and is really very good. This was his first "Family Portrait" shoot, except for his own, so we all learned some things. We had four locations in mind, but we started out pretty cold, and then the sun came up pretty fast and made things a little more complicated with the shadows and light. He took about 260 shots, and we hoped a few of them turned out okay. With that many people, you always have somebody blinking, not looking, talking, or crying. Well, he got many more than a few good ones, and I am so happy with what we ended up with. Actually, there are too many to choose. I might just make a collage for the wall instead. There are just so many that are so fun! I love my brother and am so grateful for his willingness to do this for us!!

That's Progress...

One Saturday, a couple of weeks ago, we had one of those days where we went from one thing to another and then I crammed Halloween costume shopping into all the little spots in between. I picked up Bryson from a birthday party, where he had a wonderful time. Then, instead of going home, we parked at the church parking lot. Our family was assigned to clean the building that day, and were already late, so I just planned to meet Steve and the other kids there. Well, I had forgotten to notify my son that we had other things planned for his afternoon, and this surprise really didn't sit well with him. His Asperger's responses kicked in and he asked in a pretty angry voice, "What are we doing here?" I answered that we were there to clean the church. He folded his arms, glared at me through his knit eyebrows, and said, "You didn't tell me. I'm not going." Well, I tried not to stay calm, and just apologized for forgetting to tell him, and told him he could stay in the car, but we were here until the work was done, and I was going in to help. I locked him in, and went into the church. I secretly checked to make sure he was safe out there, but he sat like that for quite some time.

After a while, I saw him slink into the building and with an embarrassed smirk on his face, he told me he had to come in to go to the bathroom. After he was done, he stayed and helped clean the bathrooms and vacuumed. On the way home, I thanked him for his help and as I put my arm around him, I asked, "So, was that really so bad?" He looked down at his feet and said, "No, Mom. I was wrong. It was okay. Sorry." We talked about how good it makes you feel to be helping others and showing our gratitude for the nice church we have to meet in. It took me a few days to realize how much his simple admission must have cost him, and how much it really meant. He admitted (without my prodding or "guilting") that he was wrong and that he was sorry for his behavior. He recognized that it was not acceptable, and not the correct way to respond to that situation. I know he was frustrated, and probably had much different plans for his day. I should have remembered how important it is to prepare him for those things. But I was so impressed with his thoughts during our short conversation in the car on the way home. I think that's what I'd call progress.... Boy, I sure do love that kid!

Saved by a Three Year-Old

This is one of those "Smiles and Sunshine" moments I built this blog for. I have a hard time remembering details about what happened last week, so I thought I better get this cute little story posted before I forget.

A few days ago, I was working on the computer and Nathan came in crying. He had tears streaming down his face, and his expression was one of those scrunched-up hurt-feelings faces that makes you think, "Oh, great. Now what did they do to my baby?" He climbed up on my lap and tried, through his sobs, to tell me what happened. I honestly couldn't decipher any of it, but know I heard Rachel's name somewhere in there. Trying to do the "mommy thing" and fix it for him, I facetiously asked if we should go and spank Rachel. Nathan immediately stopped crying and looked at me with a worried look on his face. He said to me, "Oh, no, Mommy! Not Rachel. She's such a good sister!" That made my heart melt. It was so precious, we went together to tell her what he had said. I found out from Rachel and a guilt-faced Bryson that he was the one that made him cry by pushing the teasing a little too far. After a half-hearted apology, Nathan forgave him, and everything was fine again.

By the way, Rachel later confessed that she was laughing and probably added to the problem. Hmmmm... Perhaps she shouldn't have been spared after all! Good thing her littlest brother loves her so much!

Who's the Biggest Loser?

When Shaunna was here this last summer, we were talking about how we need to lose weight and get in better shape. Mom had been struggling with her diabetes and blood sugar levels that were so screwy she didn't know what to do. Then she told us about Mike on The Biggest Loser, whose Dad was diabetic and on lots of other medications for his poor health and by the end of the season was off all his medications. She said, "That's what I want. I don't even care if I'm skinny ever again, I just want to be healthy and in control." Kristina had just had Kassandra and with her gestational diabetes experience, was feeling much the same way. So, we talked about doing our own special brand of Biggest Loser, working together for support and encouragement.

Shaunna and Kristina worked out a good and fair way to administer the challenge and invited each of us to participate. We had such excitement among the Dixon girls that we all agreed to participate and Krystal's sister, Shamae and Kristina's daughter, Shannon are also on board! We had to re-vamp the exercise portion and worked it out to have a weight loss winner and an exercise winner (since we all need to exercise and be fit, but only some have a significant amount weight to lose). That way, we all have a goal and a chance to win!

We each agreed to put in $35 to the winner's pot. That's $280 for winnings!! ($180 goes to the biggest loser, and $100 for the exercise winner.) We have to weigh in every Monday morning and report our weight that day and hours of exercise the past week. Kristina calculates the percentage of body weight we lost (or gained) that week and gives us one exercise point for each half-hour we spent exercising. I built a blog (...sorry, it's private to protect our losers) where she posts the results and we can go in search of support and encouragement from each other. We started on August 31st, and will end on March 29th (7 months).

At this point, I've not done very well with the contest results. I'm about in the mediocre range for exercising and second-to-last in the weight loss. But, it is helping, and I am doing (and feeling) great! My ultimate goal in participating in this little (okay, huge) challenge is to be healthy and feel good about myself. With all the heart, blood pressure, and diabetes issues in my mom's family, I'm determined to be healthy and avoid them as long as I can. In order to do that, I have to make some lifestyle changes and commit to being healthy, and therefore...happy. The thing I've noticed is that because I have to be accountable for my weight, I am much more careful what I spend my carbs on. Last week, I imposed a diet upon myself, combining some things from South Beach, some from Jilian Michaels' Master your Metabolism book, some from an insulin resistance Link and Balance Diet, and the common sense things I've known, but not followed, most of my adult life. Also, my desire to exercise has increased dramatically. For starters, we have to exercise at least 30 minutes, 3 times a week for any of our exercise to count. So, who wants to have only 3 points at the end of the week? Not me! So the intensity and drive is so much greater than ever before. And the more I exercise, the better I feel after a good workout, the more I want to feel it again the next day. Kind of cool how that works. The more energy I use, the more energy I gain, and the more energy I have to spend.

So far, I've only lost 2 pounds. But, in the last week, I've noticed that my body's changing and some of my clothes are fitting differently. You know, a little more room around the thighs, bum and arms, not quite so tight on the belly. It feels so good, and is so motivating! Can't wait to weigh in the morning and see if my new "diet" is really working! Actually, I can't wait til next March to see how I look and feel then!

Happy Anniversary, Sweetheart!

We celebrated our 18th wedding anniversary this month on August 9th. Actually, we celebrated together on the 7th and 8th, and with the kids on the 9th. Lacking any funds for a traditional romantic weekend getaway, we got a little more creative this year. Steve and I have never ever been camping alone. So, we thought we'd give it a shot, since it's a pretty cheap place to go. We packed up some yummy things to cook an anniversary dinner over the fire (ginger sesame pork and shrimp, red new potatoes and salad, complete with sparkling juice and frozen mint pies), sleeping bags and pillows and a few other camping essentials. We had such a wonderful time!! It was kind of weird not having all the kids there, but so nice to just sit together and talk, stare at the fire, watch an old movie in bed (in the back of the Suburban...not as comfy as we'd imagined) and spend some much needed private time together. We slept in (til our old bladders forced us out of bed) and cleaned up camp in the rain. What's camping without rain, anyway. It was a beautiful weekend.

As I reflect on the last 18 years, I am truly humbled as I realize how much the Lord has blessed me. I can't imagine how my life would be without the incredible man I've married beside me. I can't even describe the depths of love I have for him and the gratitude I feel. We've been through so much in the last 18 years, health problems, work issues, financial problems, the unknown in so many struggles... and through it all, we cling to each other and work through it with the Lord's help. We always seem to know what the other needs. Steve has made me a believer in Soul Mates, and I'm so grateful he found me, and knew I was his. He's everything to me. I love you, sweetheart.