A Car Wash, Butterfly and Two Life Lessons

Yesterday, we decided it was about time we washed our filthy cars. They're big cars... a blazer and suburban. The neighbor commented about how great it was that the whole family was helping since they're such big cars. Really, we thought it would be good to work together to teach our children that working together can be fun and that it helps get the work done faster, but I think there was a lot more playing going on than working. We did have fun, and all the kids were soaked. While the suburban was getting rinsed, a beautiful tiger swallowtail butterfly landed right on the wet hood. Its delicate wings immediately stuck to the water on the hood and it was trapped. The kids all started yelling and Steve came over to see what was going on. The butterfly was fighting with all it had ("freaking out" was what Joshua called it) to get free from that wet hood. Steve carefully put his finger by its front legs and it climbed onto his finger. He gently put it on a plant in the sun to dry. The poor butterfly kept trying to flap its wings, but one was so wet it stayed stuck to the leaf for a long time.

After about 15 minutes, its wings were dry, and it crawled to the shady underside of the leaf. I imagine it was recovering from its exhausting ordeal and trying to "catch its breath". After about another half hour, it crawled to the top, and spread its wings and flew away. We saw another one in the back yard later (when we were "having fun" weeding the garden) and Bryson was sure it was the same one coming back to thank us for helping.

Life Lesson #1: When Steve and I were wiping down the windows of the car, we opened the doors and wiped out the inside as well. I was amazed at how disgustingly dirty the windows were in the back seats and that I hadn't even noticed how filthy the car was inside until the outside was clean. We talked about how when things gradually get dirty, you don't even notice just how gross it was until it's clean again. Kind of like life... sometimes we worry more about what our outsides are like, and forget to take a look inside of our minds and our hearts and don't really realize just how neglected and dirty it is in there. If every little smudge, dust speck, and sticky fingerprint is allowed to settle and find a home, pretty soon you're awfully dirty and haven't even noticed. It reminded me how important it is to prepare myself to take the Sacrament each week. It's like a car wash. Well, more like a full professional car detail, actually. Everything wiped clean, sparkling and vacuumed out...even in the tiniest cracks. Add a little air freshener smelling of humility and gratitude, and you can't feel much better than that.

Life Lesson #2: I thought about that poor butterfly and how absolutely panic-stricken it must have been when it landed on the hood and immediately recognized its mistake. Sometimes we do things that seem like a good idea at the time, but immediately realize it wasn't a very good idea. Sometimes we panic, trying our hardest to get free, and the only way we can escape is by the hand that reaches out to our aid. The only way He can help us though, is if we trust Him, and step up on His finger where He can move us to a safe place. Sometimes our struggles are because of our poor judgment or bad choices. However, the kinds of struggles that are hardest for me to just climb on and trust Him are the ones that are simply a product of mortal circumstances. I know that He has the ability to put me in a warm, safe place to dry out and wait until I'm able to fly again. He has done that for me over and over again. But there are those few minutes, where I somehow forget what He can do, and just "freak out", trying so hard to make it on my own, and wear myself out. I learned something important from that butterfly yesterday. It didn't even hesitate to step onto Steve's finger. It may have been instinct, or it may have been desperation, but that butterfly knew what needed to happen to be saved. I hope that in these struggles of mortality, when the Lord's finger appears in my path again, that I will be willing to just step out and trust Him to lead me to the sunshine to rest until I am whole and can fly again.

Happy Birthday, America!

I thought it would be appropriate to take a second to share my thoughts and feelings about being blessed beyond measure to be an American and enjoy living in this incredible nation. I am grateful for the God-fearing visionaries who traveled across the ocean into this untamed land to start a new life. I am grateful for their faith-filled wives and daughters that wanted a place to raise their children worshiping the God they loved. I am grateful for the men that fought for the freedoms they hoped to gain by starting a new life here. I am grateful for the men and boys who died fighting and sacrificed all to ensure our freedom and independence. I am grateful for the men who, as instruments in God's hands, stood up for what they believed in and built this incredible country. And, I am grateful beyond expression for the men and women who continue to fight today. To keep us safe. To keep us free. To allow us to continue worshiping our God who blesses us abundantly in this great land. God bless America!

The First Day of the Rest of Her Life

So my sweet little Sarah, my fist born baby girl, graduated from high school on Thursday, June 2nd. It was an incredible occasion, celebrating her life, her accomplishments and her dedication to her education (especially this past year). As I thought about her experiences in high school, part of me longed for things to have been different. For her to have been healthy and felt good every day. For her to have had lots of really good friends. For her to have been involved in so many things, she didn't have time to study. Then, as I reflected on the things she's been through, especially in high school, I was so grateful that she recovered from the trauma of her PLE her sophomore year and became someone who was happy, well adjusted, loved to learn, smiled often, and accomplished so much, despite how awful she felt when she got up each morning. In so many ways, Sarah is my hero. I can't describe how grateful I am for her example of long-suffering and patience in her struggles.

Just look at that smile!

Here's the proof!

Grandpa and Grandma Brown came from Utah to celebrate with us.

Grandma and Grandpa Dixon were also very proud of our girl.

She had a sort of break-down after graduation when we got home after commencement. She spent a lot of time talking with her daddy (she's always been a daddy's girl) and expressed her fears of the future. She wants to be a kindergarten teacher when she grows up, but doesn't know how, when or where she should accomplish that. She also really wants to be a wife and mother, but has so much that she needs to figure out before she's ready for that. It's scary... looking down the road, and not knowing for sure if the pathway you want to take is the one that leads to where you want to end up. Like she said, this is the only life she's ever known... going to school and learning each day. Now the possibilities are endless and sometimes frightening. But, like everything else in her life, she has started walking forward (even on swollen ankles) and headed down the path toward the "rest of her life".