Hopspital Photo Ops

When Sarah was in the hospital in September and October, we tried to find things that would brighten her room and bring a little joy and light to her life. Here are some of the things we enjoyed most while "trapped" in our "sterile" boredom...

 

Sarah and I painted her windows to improve the view and brighten her room. (Housekeeping didn't really like this, so we only did it during our first stay. It was so cute though, and did make her smile!)

Sarah listened to music... and slept... a lot.

We put together puzzles and played games from the playroom. We dragged a few of our favorite games from home, too, when we realized we might be there a while.

Sarah and I added a Cricut to our list of wants... Sarah's Aunt Susie and her cousin Toni took the day off work and came to play with paper and they made darling decorations for her window! The time passed so quickly and she had a wonderful time!

We cuddled...

... and smiled, as often as possible. When it didn't seem possible at the moment, then we looked for specific reasons to smile.

Facebook, Skype, texting and the telephone were lifelines to the "outside" world. (I think she was actually ordering her dinner or lunch in this picture, but we did spend a lot of time talking to people who love her!)

A Hawaiian Luau, complete with grass skirt and flower lei....

Upon hearing that she wouldn't be heading home (yet again), a few of her wonderful aunts in Utah threw together a luau in her honor. 4 Aunts, 1 Uncle, and a handful of cousins surprised her with a little tropical get away in the 3rd floor conference room.

...And a surprise visit from her best friend, Autumn.

Reading, listening to music, and watching the "smileys" do their tricks. Sarah got one of these little guys on her breakfast tray every morning holding a card with a silly little joke on it. They became a highlight, as she would share her jokes with the phlebotomists that came to draw her blood every morning at the crack of dawn. Her brothers loved hearing them each time we talked too. Steve was entertained for a moment each day by adding another little "smiley" to her collection. They got pretty tricky by the time we went home!

Had to do just one more puzzle with Mom before heading home. (It does take more than a few hours to finally leave once they give the word!) Doesn't she look great? That's a real smile, now!

Re-do and Expound

One thing I've learned about myself is I often break the promises I make to my blog. I never re-did or expounded on the last two posts while we were at the hospital with Sarah. We got to come home, and then life happened, and I just can't seem to find the time to do the things I want to do, like follow through. I guess that's what moments like this are for... putting everything else on hold, ignoring everything else that needs/wants your attention, and spending a few minutes listening to Jon Schmit play beautiful music in your speakers while you reflect, and catch up on your "me" time a bit. :)

On October 27th, I posted a short post about the basics of what happened that day. "We met Dr. Lynn Gershan, the medical director of Pediatric Integrative Services, and Dr. Rafael Firszt, the immunologist."

Dr. Gershan is basically PCMC's doctor of alternative medicine. She came in and talked with Sarah to assess her needs, and then spent some time the next two days doing treatments and helping her learn some new coping mechanisms. She explained that sometimes kids (especially those with critical and long-term illnesses) don't necessarily need more medicine or surgery. Sometimes their minds and bodies can help heal themselves by simply teaching them what to do and providing them with the right tools. She did a Japanese pediatric acupuncture (Shoni-shin) to activate some of her body's natural healing powers. She taught about aromatherapy (and made her a little inhaler with mint and lemon) to help calm her during hard times. She taught her self-hypnosis so she could better deal with her stress and anxiety. She was going to teach her some breathing techniques, but we got to go home before she had a chance. She also taught Sarah about "reframing". I love the idea that her mind can create more positive images to help her body heal. (For example, when the doctors talk about her "leaky gut", often the picture that comes to mind is of the cell walls with holes or her intestines seeping fluids. Dr. Gershan taught her to picture the cells closing up tighter and holding in that fluid, and allowing the body to absorb the important proteins that she "used to" lose.) I believe the mind has great powers, and though some think it's hokey, or kind of like living in denial, I like to think it's re-training the mind to think positively and allowing the body to follow the mind's example. We have much more power and capacity than we ever use in these minds and bodies of ours, and learning how to access that inner power is pretty cool.

Dr. Firszt came and visited with us about Sarah's immune system. Even though most of her tests came back normal, they are concerned that her body may not have the created the immunities that healthy people create after immunizations are introduced into the body. He wanted to do a full screening on her, but because she had received some IVIG (a donated blood product on immunoglobulins) to boost her immune system, the immunities that showed up could be someone else's. Gammaglobulins (B-Cells and T-Cells) are what fight infection, and Sarah's are extremely low. He said not to panic, though. Those cells are created in the lymph system and carried through the thoracic duct and kids with heart surgery history often have a damaged or compromised thoracic duct. Because she's been so "healthy" all of her life, maybe her low numbers have worked just fine for her all this time, and will continue to do so. Their concern, however, is that this mysterious "infection" she had might have been because the small amount of cells she has are no longer working for her at this age and stage of the game. So, he ordered a triple round of strep-pneumonia shots and put her on a daily antibiotic to fight off the environmental bacterias that are so easy to get this time of year, including the strep/pneumonia bacteria that may have caused the SBP (spontaneous bacterial peritonitis) they treated her for. We go see him again in February or March to have the full screening done and see if her immune system is strong enough to fight on her own, or if she will be needing more treatments and immunizations to keep her healthy in the coming years.

So, it was an interesting and enlightening couple of days, but I wished Steve had been there with me to learn and hear it all, too. That's one of the many hard things about being separated during these hospital stays. There's so much to take in, so much to learn, and so very much to... well, forget. Plus, he's a fan of "mind power" and I think he would have loved Dr. Gershan.

On Friday, Steve was planning to return to stay with Sarah, and I was going to go back home. But, in the morning the doctors surprised us and asked if we were comfortable going home soon. After the last two disappointments, we had decided to not even think about home and then we'd just be happy and grateful when they decided they were ready to let us go. So when I say "surprised", I kind of mean "shocked", and didn't even want to go there if they weren't serious. Sarah had a fever the night before and had been throwing up again that morning, so I was holding my breath until we got the final word. The doctors had all decided that there wasn't anything else to test her for right then, and although things weren't all the way better, they were comfortable that she had improved enough and we could do the same things for her at home that they were doing at the hospital. We also left with the understanding that we'd be back if anything got worse. So, we got to go home. And here we are, two weeks later... and we're still home! So great to be back together as a whole family, getting back into the swing of things and feeling a little more normal again.

Home Sweet Home

Well, my daily blog posts of our hospital adventure didn't last very long. I'm really really glad, though. That means that we're home! Sarah did pretty well today. She did throw up some today and had a low-grade fever tonight, but I don't think it's serious. Without nausea, her PLE is probably the cause of the vomiting. She's gone a couple of weeks though without, so I hope it goes away again soon. Her appetite has got to get better, now that we're home and she's not forced to choose from the same hospital menu every day. I really think it's going to take a while before she feels all the way better. Being sick for a month has taken its toll and she's thin, weak, and tired. I spent over an hour today organizing her medicine and making a chart so we could keep everything straight and keep track of her progress. We put all the hospital stuff away (kind of) and cleaned up all the boredom busters we had collected in our four weeks at the hospital. We had certainly moved in and made ourselves at home! It's so nice to unpack, knowing that we'll be home for a while (hopefully a very long while).

Steve found me this cartoon today in the paper. It made us laugh, and felt so appropriate at the moment.

I suppose when doctors aren't really sure what you've got, or what to do about what you've got, it would be comforting to create another problem that CAN be solved! :) We never really experienced that at the hospital, but it did seem occasionally like any progress would have been a good thing!

Today I learned that when you come home, even after a stressful month in the hospital, "normal life" is waiting for you, even if you're not ready for it. Grocery shopping, errands, dishes... they all think they're still important. It did feel good to be in my PJ's til noon, though! I suppose the rest of the "lots of things to do" will just have to wait! (How long do you think I get to use this excuse for my lack of desire to do all those things?)

Today we're thankful for being home together again. I'm so grateful that Sarah is doing okay still, and that we were able to be home together. In some ways it feels like we've never been apart. Then I look at my boys, and it seems they have changed so much since I hugged them 11 days ago. It just feels so good to be back together!!

Daily Blog - PCMC Day 25

Today actually started in the wee hours of the morning. Sarah spent most of the night being awakened every hour or half hour for uncomfortable things to help prepare for her colonsocopy. After morning vitals, we were visited by the oncologist (the doctor doing the bone marrow aspirate) and she said she'd see us at 1:15. We were obviously confused, since we had been preparing all night for tests at 7:30 a.m. They were planning to run them together since she'd already be under anesthesia and in the OR. They had originally scheduled them separately, then together in the morning instead, and somehow didn't get the message to oncology. In looking at the schedule, the teams decided the later time worked better for them. We were beyond frustrated with the inconvenience and stress this caused Sarah (not to mention serious lack of sleep, and no food or drinks now til afternoon). I expressed our frustration to the poor innocent nurse and resident, and then realized that it was already decided, and there was not much to do except be positive and try to help her cope. We passed the time pretty well with a morning nap, a visit from Aunt Kathy (Steve's sister) and a game of doodle dice. Before we knew it, the time had come.

All Sarah remembers is talking with the anesthesiologist, getting some "relaxing" medicine, and telling me goodbye. The next thing she remembers is waking up in her room, 4 1/2 hours later, feeling sleepy, but pretty good. Even though it makes her a little weepy, versed is a pretty great amnesia-inducing drug! The procedures actually only took about an hour and a half, and all went well. There will probably not be any results for about 48 hours, but she handled them beautifully, and the doctors were able to collect all the cells and biopsies, and see everything they needed to. She is pretty comfortable and now receiving a broad-spectrum antibiotic in her IV while we wait for answers. (No reason to sit around wasting any more time, huh?) Hopefully, by Friday we'll have the answer to this puzzle that has been so aggravating these past few weeks. I'm frankly a little nervous about the results of these tests. I'm scared that they still won't find the answer to her inflammatory markers and  mysterious fevers. When I decide to be positive and hope that they really will solve the puzzle with these tests, I'm kind of scared of what they will find. I know that's the goal, and what we've all been praying for, but the unknown is not something I'm very eager to face head-on these days.

Steve is home with the kids, being a daddy, mommy, and candidate, catching up on the last 3 weeks away from home, and putting together Halloween costumes and a City Council campaign. Mom has helped a lot after school, and continued being the wonderful Grandma she is. The kids are so happy to have him there, and as much as they need him, and he needs to be there, it was so hard today to be apart. Sure hope we don't have very many more of these "hard" days ahead.

Today Sarah is grateful for anesthesia and for good doctors that know what they're doing. I'm thankful that there were no bad surprises or complications and that it's all over for another day. I'm also thankful for our family and all the wonderful things they're doing for us to help us through this tough time.

Today we learned that just because a day starts out bad, it doesn't mean the whole day has to stink. Today ended up being a pretty good day, thanks to our Father in Heaven for sending (in various ways) the comfort and love He has promised.

Daily Blog - PCMC Day 24

At the suggestion of a member of the Rainbow Kids team, I decided that I am going to post on our blog every day now, at least for a while. I hope this will accomplish a few things for me and my family...

1. Provide daily updates for our family and friends to know what's going on through Sarah's current hospital stay.
2. Help me journal this experience in our life a little better and more accurately.
3. Give me a place to write my feelings and insights into what this experience really is to me, and how it affects me and the people I love.
4. Help me take a few minutes every day to reflect on blessings we're receiving and things we're learning through this experience.

PCMC Day 24

Sarah is doing pretty well today. She is feeling a little more sleepy than she has been, but it's been a pretty good day otherwise. Her tummy is a little smaller and she still has some diarrhea and fever, but her appetite is still really good, and she's pretty happy, considering we're still here. She is no longer receiving any antibiotics right now, with the assumption that the bacteria that's causing the fever will be able to grow better if it's not sterilized by the antibiotics. They have assumed the fluid in her belly is what was infected, and there were inflammatory markers and elevated white cells, but the cultures didn't grow. So, with no antibiotics on board, they are repeating a bunch of tests for common intestinal illnesses through blood and stool tests. At this point, we're hoping for some more symptoms to rear their ugly heads, cultures to grow something definitely yucky, or for things to just taper off and get better.

Tomorrow, she is going to have a bone marrow aspirate (collection of bone marrow cells through a needle) to rule out salmonella and a few others that sometimes "hide" in the bone marrow. While she's sedated, they will also do a GI endoscopy and colonoscopy to "see" what's going on inside and can do biopsies of anything weird at the same time. She's pretty nervous about new tests like these, but will be sedated and safe, and I'm confident she will do fine. The hardest part is the unknown, only second to how weepy and tired the sedation makes her feel.

Today we're grateful for fun distractions like games, puzzles, Teen Night and a long walk through the University of Utah campus.

Today I learned that there is not pathway or sidewalk that takes you just around the hospitals, and that taking care of yourself is not neglecting someone else.

My October Gratitude List

Since things have been less than ideal in our lives this month, I thought I should share some of the things we are grateful for these days... (in no particular order, and most likely not a very complete list)

• For Primary Children's Medical Center - that the hospital is only 2 1/2 hours away, for incredible doctors and nurses that really care about Sarah, for specialists and cooperative teams trying to solve her problems, special teams like Child Life and Rainbow Kids, and that one of its purposes is to keep kids happy while they have to be here
• For the love, prayers, support and visits from our extended family, friends, ward family, and acquaintances
• That Steve's boss has been so understanding and flexible to help get us through this and keep his focus where it should be right now
• For Steve's friends that have helped with his city council campaign in his absence
• For home teachers that have mowed our gigantic lawn more than once
• That my mom is retired and has been able and willing to "move in" to take care of my kids so Steve and I could both be here as much as possible, and for my dad for helping and supporting her (and us)
• For Steve's parents for providing us with room and board, and wonderful meals, and company
• For Relief Society leaders that have completely taken over my calling so I could focus on my family
• For all of the "love" that has showed up on our doorstep... hospital snacks, presents for Sarah, meals, treats, Halloween surprises, cards, and money to help us through this stressful time
• That we have good insurance and Medicaid for Sarah so the hospital and doctor bills haven't caused any extra stress
• For social workers that arranged a room for us at the Ronald McDonald House and other reimbursement programs to help relieve some of our other financial burdens
• That my sweet sister-in-law sewed Bryson's Halloween costume so I wouldn't have to
• For our patient children at home that haven't complained, but pray every day that we'll be home together again soon
• For technology (like videocams and skype) that allow us to "be with" our kids sometimes
• For Steve's sisters that planned a "surprise Hawaiian luau" to brighten Sarah's otherwise frustrating and disappointing weekend
• For the family members and friends that have come to visit, bring meals, do crafts with Sarah, and brighten our prolonged stay at the hospital
• For our sweet daughter Sarah, and her incredible example of faith and long-suffering
• For our Heavenly Father's love and care, His plan, blessings, and tender mercies
• For our Savior, Jesus Christ, and His infinite love and atonement that grants us the strength to endure and the grace sufficient to overcome

Another Ride

I don't even know where to begin this time.... So much has happened, and there is so much to say.

We did get off the "roller coaster", the very next day. Late Saturday night, Sarah was released from the hospital. We went home with strict orders to watch and monitor her fevers, keep in touch with the cardiologists, and follow up with her pediatrician within the week. It was so very wonderful to be home together! Sarah was still pretty sick, but we did our best to keep her comfortable and keep track of everything. Thankfully, we still had another week of Fall Break for the boys and me, so I got to be the nurse and mommy while Steve worked and we tried to get back to "normal". I called to schedule Sarah's follow-up for the following Friday, and they didn't have any room for her that day. So, we scheduled it for Wednesday morning instead. By Tuesday night, I looked over the careful notes we'd been taking of her "at home" vitals, and realized that things really weren't getting any better. She still had little appetite, and the other symptoms were much the same, if not worse. We headed to the doctor in the morning, and he confirmed those thoughts. He ran blood tests again, and told us that she seemed even worse than when he sent her to the hospital two weeks earlier. He told us to go immediately to the hospital (in Pocatello) where they would get some IV antibiotics and more maintenance fluids in her. She was to be flown (by the Life-Flight helicopter) to Primary Children's again, where the experts were that could help her.

So, I guess, we were forced back in line for another ride... It was a different roller coaster this time. Same amusement park, but a different ride. As we boarded this "same, but different" ride, I thought, "I really don't want to do this again...". It has been a different ride, with more hope and success, more support and company, and also more frustration and tears. As we're (hopefully) drawing near the end of this second ride (day 12 today), I've decided I don't like this part of the park much. Most of the rides really stink.

*     *     *     *     *

On October 12th, we watched Sarah strapped into the helicopter and lifted into the air. Steve arranged for his sisters to meet her at the hospital when she arrived so she wouldn't have to be alone. She was stable, but it was so hard to see her taken from us again... just like when she was a newborn. When we had arranged everything and talked to each of the kids about going back, we headed to Salt Lake to find our 18 year old baby girl looking much better than when she left us. The next several days were kind of like a continuation of our last trip, but different in many ways. Instead of doing more searching for the cause, it seemed the teams of doctors were more concerned with finding a treatment. They decided the oral antibiotics she had been taking at home must not have been fully absorbed, so she wasn't getting the medicine in her she needed. They also started looking at some of the long-term things we could do to help her PLE, since the nature of the symptoms had seemed swing more to that disease. She stopped throwing up the day after she returned, and the fevers seemed to go away by the next Sunday. We were making progress.... The fever and white blood count, however, were still baffling.

I went home Saturday afternoon and stayed there with the kids until Wednesday afternoon and Steve stayed with Sarah. I was able to get some much needed time with my sweet ones at home, and also all 15 hours of work in at the school. While I was gone, it seemed Sarah just kept improving. Her cardiac team brought in Dr. Angela Yetman, who runs the Adult Congenital Cardiology Cardiac Program at Primary Children’s and the University Hospital. She specializes in adult patients with congenital heart defects. Kids with anatomies like Sarah's didn't used to live into adulthood, and now most adult heart doctors don't really know how to work with patients with such complex heart anatomies and complications. Apparently these same issues and treatments are different in adults and children. She immediately put the kibosh on a feeding tube, more albumen treatments, and the seriously low fat diet. She ordered iron infusions (to help with absorption in her intestines, slow down the gut, and raise red blood cell and oxygen levels) and a calorie count, giving Sarah the freedom to eat what she really wanted to, hopefully proving she could keep in enough nutrients to gain weight and be healthy again. I couldn't wait to return and meet this doctor whom Sarah has officially hired and seemed to turn things around because of her experience and expertise. If nothing else, it was a new (and welcome) perspective, and gave us a connection and starting point with an adult cardiologist.

Sarah was doing really well. Fevers had stopped, no more vomiting for a week, diarrhea was slowing down, and she was feeling really good. We were pretty concerned about how big her belly had gotten, but were assured that with all the swelling of her internal organs and the fluid that the albumen hangs onto, we'd need to be patient for quite a while before that would go away. With that settled in our minds, we were planning to be home on Friday. Then, late Thursday evening, there was another fever spike....

The doctors came in and delivered the sad news and my little angel fell apart. She was so disappointed and so homesick, she couldn't even really hear what the doctors were saying. Then, she wiped her eyes, and said courageously, "I really want to go home, but I don't want to have to come right back again. I'll stay as long as I need to to get better." It was a pretty hard morning for all of us, as we had hopes of being home with our whole family together again. Since she had a (new or recurring) fever again, they decided to go ahead and tap the fluid in her belly and test it to see if the peritonitis they'd been treating. (Everybody has a small amount of peritoneal fluid in their belly to cushion the organs in the abdomen. In the weeks prior, Sarah's hadn't shown up as an abnormal amount in the tests they'd run, so they hadn't tested it, but just treated it. They assumed that since everything else was negative, it was a logical deduction that her intestinal issues and swollen belly would contribute to that diagnosis.) When they checked on ultrasound, this time there was a serious amount of fluid in there. They took her in and tapped the fluid to test and removed 450ccs (almost 17oz) of fluid from her belly. It has made her feel better, and her appetite has really improved (more room in the tummy equals more calories in the tummy). We all feel much better about having had that done, and I wonder now if the fever was another tool of our Heavenly Father's to keep us here so they would go ahead with that procedure. Her fevers have continued the last 3 days at a low-grade level and now they're testing for common respiratory viruses to explain the fevers. If they come back positive, she'll be headed home, with a little "head cold", but knowing that the initial infection and issues are now better. More testing and more waiting....

It's Sunday again, and Steve and I are both here with Sarah at the hospital, hoping tomorrow will be the day. Waiting for cultures to grow can take a few days, and I'm worried that they'll want to have definite answers or no fevers for a bit before sending us home. Sarah is at day 29 of being sick, day 22 at the hospital and has had 35 pokes, with 11 IVs. I think it's time. But, I'm with Sarah on this. I really don't want to take her home until it's really time.... Heaven help us to finish this ride patiently.

The Hospital Roller Coaster Ride

I usually really like roller coasters. The twistier, scarier, and more adrenaline-rush-causing the better. I have decided, however, that I really don't like life's figurative roller coasters. In the midst of a struggle, it seems that every once in a while life tosses you some hope and then it's all dashed in a matter of moments with one sudden event. Then, you get to the worst part, where you think you might just lose your lunch, and there's suddenly a little more light and a little more hope again. Not that I'm ungrateful for the hope and the light. It's those miracles and blessings that makes our struggles and burdens easier to bear. I think it's just frustrating because the figurative roller coasters seem to be awfully long rides sometimes. What if I don't want to "keep my arms and legs in the car at all times"? I want to get off....

Last week, Thursday, September 29th, we checked Sarah into Primary Children's Medical Center. She had been really sick with a "stomach flu bug" (we thought) since the previous Sunday. I took her to see her pediatrician on Wednesday afternoon, worried that she may be getting dehydrated. With her diuretics and PLE, I wasn't sure how far to push her before we did something about it. We had blood drawn and an exam, and went home with some zofran (anti-nausea medicine) and waited for lab results. The doctor called back, close to 10 p.m., after discussing with cardiologists at PCMC what should be done. Her albumen levels (4-6 for normal people, should be at 4 for her) were down to 1.6. By the time we got her to the hospital the next afternoon, she was at 1.3. When she was so sick 3 years ago, her levels dropped to 1.2. The difference this time is that she hasn't been sick for months before doing something. But, her protein levels are about the same. Anyway, we checked her in for an overnight stay to receive some albumen infusions, with the hope that raising those levels would counteract the symptoms (swelling, diarrhea and vomiting) and calm things down in her gut. The problem, however, came with the fever she keeps spiking around 102 up to 103.4. The infectious disease team was called in to see what they could find. After days of stool, blood and urine samples, everything they tested for came back negative. They checked for things like urinary tract infection, bacterial infections in her blood, rotovirus, salomomonilla, listeria, and so many more I don't even know what they were. After several days of testing, growing cultures, and waiting for results, everything has come back negative.

The gastrointestinal team was called in a few days later (notice we are checked in for an extended stay now) to see if they could help explain why symptoms were not letting up with elevated protein levels. They recommended an ultrasound to see if she had an excess of peritoneal fluid in her abdomen that could be infected. It didn't show an unusual amount, so "tapping" it was kind of discarded for a bit. Yesterday, a whole week after our arrival, and the day following another fever spike, they did a CT Scan with contrast to see if her mal-rotated intestines maybe were twisted or pinched, causing the vomiting and diarrhea. They were also checking for arteries that could be clamping and pinching the bowel (because with her weight loss, she's probably lost most of the fatty tissue that protects the intestine) as well. Results of that test said that things seemed to be functioning "normally" without any blockages of any kind. That was a relief, but still left questions of what's causing the fever. They decided to treat the fever like any bacterial infection and gave her an IV antibiotic, hoping that in a day or two it will just fix the problem without explanation (because there might not seem to be one...).

So, here we are, 8 days since admission, still waiting and trying to fix what's wrong. She has improved, throughout all these tests, and probably just through the passing of time, her symptoms have changed from the original "stomach flu" style of symptoms with nausea to more of a PLE "rejection" type of  vomiting without the nausea. So, we're still here, unsure of whether those symptoms (diarrhea and vomiting) is PLE or if it's something else, but doing our best to help her heal, be comfortable, get some nutrition in her, kill the fever, and get her home.

Today is one of the best days we've had since we checked her in. She's felt pretty good, gone on a few walks, and actually kept food down all day! That's a huge milestone...it's been almost 2 weeks since that's happened. So, as I sit here telling this story, we're filled with hope and smiles today that we're headed a good direction. Maybe we're at the "tummy-tickle" part of the ride. I hope and pray in the coming days that the fever will go away with the antibiotics, and the food will stay down so we can all be home together again in just a few days.

We've had some really special times together trying to cope with the emotional and spiritual struggles that come with such an experience. We're so blessed to have my mom taking care of the other children so we can both be here with her. Steve's work has been so good to be flexible and just cover things so he can be where he needs to be. It's been such a blessing to have us both here so we can each take turns being strong enough for the other two. Steve had an wonderful experience with Sarah in the "Meditation Room", and Steve and I had a sweet healing experience on a walk and in the "Angel Garden". I can't imagine how we would be handling things without these incredible blessings. Between all the prayers and the opportunity to be here together, we've learned so many things and grown spiritually. We've learned more about the difference between wearing a "mask" and putting on your "game face", what "courage" really is, experienced and shared tender mercies, and studied and learned more about the Atonement of our Savior and His infinite grace.

I'd like to say that the roller coaster ride is over, and that we're finally getting off dizzy, giggly, and happy to be back on the ground. Not sure when that will happen, but on a day like today, I have hope and faith that it will be whenever it's supposed to be. Our loving Heavenly Father is in charge. It will be over as soon as He thinks it should be. We're where she needs to be to get the best care possible, and with all the love and prayers we've felt, I know He must be waiting to bring us great blessings.

The First Day of the Rest of Her Life

So my sweet little Sarah, my fist born baby girl, graduated from high school on Thursday, June 2nd. It was an incredible occasion, celebrating her life, her accomplishments and her dedication to her education (especially this past year). As I thought about her experiences in high school, part of me longed for things to have been different. For her to have been healthy and felt good every day. For her to have had lots of really good friends. For her to have been involved in so many things, she didn't have time to study. Then, as I reflected on the things she's been through, especially in high school, I was so grateful that she recovered from the trauma of her PLE her sophomore year and became someone who was happy, well adjusted, loved to learn, smiled often, and accomplished so much, despite how awful she felt when she got up each morning. In so many ways, Sarah is my hero. I can't describe how grateful I am for her example of long-suffering and patience in her struggles.

Just look at that smile!

Here's the proof!

Grandpa and Grandma Brown came from Utah to celebrate with us.

Grandma and Grandpa Dixon were also very proud of our girl.

She had a sort of break-down after graduation when we got home after commencement. She spent a lot of time talking with her daddy (she's always been a daddy's girl) and expressed her fears of the future. She wants to be a kindergarten teacher when she grows up, but doesn't know how, when or where she should accomplish that. She also really wants to be a wife and mother, but has so much that she needs to figure out before she's ready for that. It's scary... looking down the road, and not knowing for sure if the pathway you want to take is the one that leads to where you want to end up. Like she said, this is the only life she's ever known... going to school and learning each day. Now the possibilities are endless and sometimes frightening. But, like everything else in her life, she has started walking forward (even on swollen ankles) and headed down the path toward the "rest of her life".

First Friday Art Walk (in April)

Sarah and Rachel were invited by the owners of Alston Ink in downtown Pocatello to be their featured "artists" at the First Friday Art Walk on April 1st. They were invited by Stephanie and Neal Alston shortly after the article appeared in the paper about Rachel using her chocolate business to earn money for her leadership conference. Sarah and Rachel spent hours during the last week of March making mints for free samples and a whole bunch of peanut butter filled eggs, bunny suckers and solid chocolate bunnies. They set up a cute display at the front of the store and waited for people to stop and try (and hopefully buy) their chocolates.

They learned very quickly that you have to be pro-active to get people to stop and talk to you. A friendly smile just doesn't cut it. (Rachel was pretty used to it from the Chocolate Extravaganza, but we made Sarah sit on the outside until she invited ten people to try some free chocolate.) We also learned that the purpose of the Art Walk, besides to get recognition and business for local artists, is to give people in the community an opportunity to spend some time downtown and learn about the shops and stores there. Here's where Stephanie graciously stepped in and took over. She was wonderful. She obviously knew what she was doing, and stopped many people to brag about "these two high school students that have their own business of handmade chocolates". It was a great tactic. Most adults were impressed by my beautiful little entrepreneurs, and at least tried the mints and congratulated them on their business venture. A few even recognized Rachel from the article in the paper. Many people loved the mints so much they also bought Easter treats. Then, Stephanie would ask them if they've ever been in her shop and invited them in to show them around. The girls and I ended up having a nice time together, and Stephanie invited them back later in the summer, when business would be slow. We'll see if they're up for that again. They're not sure, but earning $76 in one evening was pretty nice!

Young Women Broadcast... Live!

As Sarah was approaching her last few months in Young Women's, I felt like I needed to seize the opportunity to take the girls to Salt Lake to the Young Women Broadcast and see it live. I've wanted to for the past few years, but as a stake leader, felt like we needed to stay here and support local viewing and dessert... looking back, I'm really not sure why, but just never did it. Well, not having that reason anymore, I decided it was something we just HAD to do, and since Steve agreed with me, we just did it!

I arranged with the Stake Presidency to get tickets and we took a Saturday trip to Salt Lake on March 26th. The girls had decided to take turns riding in the front and choosing the music. We sang along, laughed and talked non-stop the whole way. We stopped along the way at Kim's Fashions in Layton (to buy $3 earring/necklace sets) and then to the Olive Garden for lunch. Rachel and Sarah both had raviolis (Sarah had portabella and Rachel had cheese), and I had the Venetian apricot grilled chicken (only 6 WW PlusPoints and so delicious!) We went over to the Layton Hills Mall to shop, but after Rachel spent all her money at the first store, we just walked around to see what a real mall looked like.

When we got to Salt Lake, we spent a long time looking for a place to park, and then walked to Temple Square. We tried to visit the Relief Society Building, but it was closed. The girls (in anticipation of a beautiful "spring" day) weren't dressed warm enough for the cloudy, windy, cool weather, so we didn't wander as far as we had originally planned. We walked over to the Joseph Smith Memorial Building and saw the "hats" display they had in there. We rode the elevator to the top and took some great pictures. We also walked through the family history center. I think the girls were impressed.

The Salt Lake Temple and the Conference Center from the top floor of the Joseph Smith Memorial Building

My beautiful daughters and the temple

We went over to the Conference center and got our tickets and decided to just change clothes and wait inside for the hour and a half until the meeting started. We ended up with amazing seats--being there so early, and enjoyed the time to sit and relax for a while. I loved the value-colored banners they had hung by the organ pipes with the three symbols (laurel wreath, rose, and beehive) on them. The touches like those and the beautiful spring flowers and grasses behind the podium created such a great atmosphere for such a special meeting.

The Conference Center. We loved the YW banners hanging above the doors. Such a nice touch that made the girls feel so special and important!

We were only about 14 rows back, on the side where the Prophet enters and exits. We were so excited to be sitting so close we could see actually see the wrinkles on his face when he smiled!

The meeting was so great. It is so different being there, watching it live, and feeling the spirits of all those beautiful daughters of God surrounding you. The love emanating from those beautiful General Young Women leaders was almost tangible. I love the videos they show in the middle of the broadcast that depict the righteousness and virtue of beautiful young women living the gospel all over the world. I have such a soft spot in my heart for these sweet daughters of God and my eyes often swell with tears of gratitude when I hear of my girls and others keeping the commandments and living the gospel so steadfastly. When the meeting was over, and President Monson and his counselors left, he spent quite a while waving at all those sweet girls. Then I was overcome with gratitude, and with tears streaming down my face, I testified of his calling and told the girls that I hoped they understood how blessed they are to have this gospel...to have the direction and resources they need to navigate this crazy world. There are so many around them that don't even know who they are, let alone why they're here or where they're going. After that, I hugged them each for a long time and told them how much I appreciate their goodness and example and that they wanted to be there with me. Oh, how I love my sweet daughters. I am so honored and grateful to be their mother.

It was funny, walking quickly down the sidewalk back to our car, we noticed that all those girls, moms and leaders (including us) were waking arm in arm or hand in hand, like they felt a closeness that they didn't want to let go of. We hurried to the car (it started raining) and headed home. Sarah rationed the Cadbury Mini-eggs (simply protecting me and Rachel from ourselves) and then went to sleep, and Rachel sat in the front seat with me and played DJ as we talked. The snow storm on the way home was interesting. As we went over the Malad pass, we had horizontal snow clusters coming right at us. Visibility was almost zero, so I slowed to a mere 35mph and followed the tail lights of the car in front of us, hoping that driver could see better than I could. We made it safely home, and went to bed tired, happy, and grateful.

Scared for Sarah

A couple of weeks ago, we had a scary few days. Sarah started complaining about swelling in her feet. I didn't pay much attention for a day or so until she showed them to me the second night. Her poor little ankles were gone. She had a leg that just turned into a foot...no ankle bones, no curves, just swelling from her knee to her toes. This is one of the "watch for" symptoms of her PLE. There wasn't any swelling in her toes, her fingers, or her face, so we just thought we'd "watch" it for a few days. By the 4th day, she was still very swollen and uncomfortable, and the swelling didn't seem to get any better overnight or when she wasn't on her feet. So, I called her doctor in Salt Lake and he ordered labs to be done that day. I was very antsy (and so was Steve) to know the results from the blood work, but had to wait til around noon the next day before we knew anything. Her albumen level (the only one I could remember what it was supposed to be at) was down to 2.6. It was at 3.8 last time she had labs done, and the doctor wants her around 4.0. (Normal...for a "normal" person...is 4.5 to 6, I think.) Anyway, when she was soooo sick a couple of years ago with her PLE, her albumen levels dropped clear to 1.8 or something like that. When I heard that number, I was immediately overcome with fear that we were headed down a road I didn't want to travel...and with only 3 months left of high school. The fear caused by memories of that time period threatened to choke the logic and reality right out of me. After a period of being held tight by Steve, and some tears and fears shared with him, I calmed down and decided my smart, level-headed husband was right...that we needed to wait til we talked to the doctor before we panicked. The next day was Friday, and I still hadn't heard from him. Worrying that we'd have to go a whole weekend without any action, and seeing that the swelling was not getting any better, I called back to Primary Children's and left a sort-of-frantic message on the voice mail. Within an hour, I had a call from the nurse and then a call from her doctor. He said that although the albumen and total protein numbers were lower, they were not horrible, and since she didn't have any of the other symptoms — overall swelling, vomiting, diarrhea — we'd just treat the symptom and hope it takes care of itself. He had us give her an extra dose of lasix (diuretic) that she's already taking two of each day to see if the swelling would go away. He also said that infection or illness on her can affect the careful balance in her body and cause a flare-up of her PLE. (She has had several viruses and two sinus infections in the last two months.) By the next day...the VERY next day, her ankles were almost normal again, and have been fine since. We kept her on her extra lasix for a week, and when we took it away...everything was okay. Just like that, another sweet miracle and answered prayers were ours. She said to me the other day, "Mom, I've never been so grateful for my skinny chicken legs as I am now." I wish I could express how very grateful I am for them, too.

A Chocolate Extravaganza!

After the article about Rachel appeared in the newspaper, a very kind lady from the Pocatello Community Charter School called and invited Rachel and Sarah to be vendors at their annual Spring Fundraiser, The PCCS Chocolate Extravaganza! People pay a fee to get in, and then get to taste everything chocolate from truffles to crepes, to shooters, mousse, and cookies! They also have an auction to raise more money. The Sweet Treets girls brought 200 Oreo Truffles as samples and had the opportunity to advertise their business with these samples, business cards and fliers.

The most awesome thing about it all was that the lady that invited them to be vendors at their event actually paid for the truffles Rachel made. It was so generous and kind. I'm quite sure nobody else got that offer. I got to go with them as their "adult chaperon" since there would be alcohol served there. It was really fun to see people's reaction to these sweet little truffles...and girls. People were so kind and complimentary, and so friendly. It was a good experience for the girls to be able to learn to "sell" themselves, be positive, friendly, and go out of their way to talk to strangers. (Something I don't recommend in other situations!) They were so good at it, they were given the "Spirit Award". There was competition for best presentation, best drink, best non-dessert, and "People's Choice". This was decided by votes (dollars) put in a jar on each table. The girls got so excited each time somebody came by and dropped a bill in their jar and told them they were their favorite. They didn't win that, but their "votes" earned another $14 for the charter school. It was so fun!

It was also through the newspaper article and this connection to the charter school's fundraiser that the girls have been invited by Stephanie and Neal Alston to their shop in Old Town Pocatello for the First Friday Art Walk in April. They will be at Alston Ink on April 1st giving out samples and selling Easter Bunnies and other Sweet Treets and doing more of that "talking to strangers" I referred to earlier. Should be a fun event as well, and such a good advertising tool for them. The people of Pocatello are so thoughtful, generous and kind... Thank you, Pocatello!!

2010: Our Year in Review

If I was into sending out Christmas letters with our postcards, I would have sent a letter that was way too long, bragged way too much about my wonderful family, and still wouldn't have even touched on the enormous amount of gratitude we feel  for all we've been blessed with this year.

I do know, however, how much I love reading about all of my treasured friends and loved ones' families, so for those who took the time to search out my blog to see what we've been up to, here's our year in review (and what you would have read, had I sent out a Christmas letter this year)....

The two most exciting things we can share from 2010 is our family vaction this summer and our move this fall. We spent the first half of the year saving our pennies and in June, we packed up our Suburban to the very top (not kidding) and drove to Alaska. We spent almost a month traveling through Canada and Alaska. We drove about 8,000 miles in our car, rode to the top of the Space Needle, hiked a glacier, saw the ocean and lots of wildlife, caught our “first fish”,  rode a ferry, dug up clams, played with cousins, swam in a hot spring, camped in the rain, and had many other grand adventures. We had a wonderful time together and have so many happy memories! In August, a wonderful opportunity and blessing was dropped in our lap, and we took it and moved forward with faith! We moved moved into a new pre-loved house that is just perfect for us! It has lots of room inside and out, and is absolutely beautiful! We really like our new ward, and love that we have so many new friends already. We've all adjusted pretty quickly, which helped our new house feel like "home" almost from the very first day. It's just where we're supposed to be!

Steve (our Daddy) still works for U.S. Congressman Mike Simpson. He loves his job, and also had an opportunity to help his boss get re-elected by working part-time at night and on weekends on the primary campaign. By June, he wasn't quite busy enough, so he accepted the Mayor's appointment to fill a vacant seat on the Pocatello City Council. It's been an eye-opening experience, and as much as he loves working with the other members of the board, he's really had to make some tough decisions and then stand behind what he feels is right and best for Pocatello. We're so proud of him. As entrepreneurs do, he's also found time to pad the family income with his direct mail business which helped out a lot during the campaign season (and our move) with 65,000 pieces of mail we designed, had printed, labeled, and sent out for several candidates. He has also been crazy busy this year getting our old house ready to rent, working out the little kinks in our new house, serving on a couple of other community and state boards, spending incredible quality time with his family, and tinkering in a couple of other business ventures. He was also recently called as the Cub Master in our new ward. He really likes having the opportunity to be the "funnest" 10 year-old in the ward!

Julia (Me, the Mommy) still loves being a stay-at-home mom. My kids are my life and I love that I have the opportunity to be totally involved in their activities and schools. This was also a year of change and growth for me as I discovered and learned much about myself and developed many new physical and spiritual strengths. I end the year much healthier and happier than I started it, and much more the person I want to be. I spent  a few months preparing for our trip and then a few more preparing to move. It's been a crazy year, but so many blessings have been thrown our way, I know that the Lord has watched over and blessed me to be able to keep up and be the kind of mother and wife I want to be. On our 3rd Sunday in our new ward, I was called to serve as the 2nd Counselor in the Relief Society Presidency. In the short time I have served there (almost 2 months now), my heart has been changed, and I've seen the Lord's plan for our family start to unfold. As you can guess, I haven't had a lot of spare time for hobbies this year, but I still love baking, blogging, and reading, and playing with my family the most.

Sarah (17) has had a pretty good year. It's been a healthy one (heart-wise) with relatively little action in that department. She found out this year that she has a pretty severe case of Scoliosis, which has caused much more heartache and many more challenges, but takes it all in stride and remains her sweet little self. She is a senior in High school, and is beginning the new year with college and scholarship applications dancing in her head. Besides our family trip and moving, the highlight of her year was attending EFY at BYU-Idaho. It was such an amazing experience for her and she came back a changed teenager! She loves to spend time with our family, and all of her extra time with friends (live or on Facebook).

Rachel (14) has become the best traveled member of our family. In March, she went on the American Heritage Tour with other 8th Graders in the community. Her favorite things were spending time in New York City, and seeing "Wicked" on Broadway, and making so many new friends! She earned all $3,000 herself (with help from her terrific parents) and had a wonderful experience. She also started high school this year and absolutely loves it! Being in a "real school" now, she can wear make-up, "real clothes" and make many new friends. She stays busy with piano lessons (taking and teaching) and friends, and thoroughly enjoys having her own room!

Bryson (11) is in 5th Grade now and still loves school. He was recently released from his occupational therapy and had grown and matured in such amazing ways. We hardly ever see evidence of his Asperger's anymore, and his confidence is apparent in his constant smile. His drawing talent has continued to blossom as he draws everything from the most detailed dragons you've ever seen to cartoon mice with goofy grins. He absolutely loves scouts, and earned his Arrow of Light just before we moved. His new scout leaders are amazing and he is looking forward to camping and many other adventures in the spring with his new troop. With our move came a whole handful of friends just down the street, a few he already knew from school. Having so many friends to play with all the time is a new thing in his life, but just one more blessing that came with our new house.

Joshua (7) is in 2nd grade and has discovered the joy of reading. He loves non-fiction the best, and any information he can gather about space, electricity and mysteries of the natural world are the best. He still loves to take apart and build things, but has discovered a new love for science experiments. He loves to draw, too, but his drawings are usually of mechanical or body systems, or data charts from his experiments. He also loves to play the wii, run around the yard, and play with his brothers and friends.

Nathan (5) is spending his last year at home with Mom. He is such a fun boy. He spent the first part of the year being a pirate, and the last part of it being a scarecrow. He often changes several times a day, and mom has to be careful to keep up. He also loves to draw and shows much promise of following in his big brother's footsteps. He started sounding out words this fall and has recently "published" his first book, "The Wizrd of Pos." He also loves running errands with Mommy, reading books, visiting Great-Grandma Mangum, and following his brothers around and playing legos with them.

Our family has been blessed beyond measure this year, and knowing that our Heavenly Father loves and watches over us is among our greatest treasures. We are so grateful for our forever family and all the amazing things that have happened this year to help seal our bonds of love and friendship. We pray that you, our family and friends near and far, have also felt the love and blessings of God rest upon you this year. We love you and hope you all have a merry Christmas and an amazing new year!

A Curvy Spine

Why does it seem like everything happens to Sarah? Last March, we took her to Primary Children's to see an Orthopedic Surgeon about the curve in her spine. I hadn't noticed it until we were trying on school clothes last fall, and when she was showing me a tighter shirt, I noticed a hump on her right shoulder and that it was quite a bit higher than the other one. In the months following, I talked to the pediatrician about it being an issue, but after taking a chest x-ray for something else, he confirmed the curve, but seemed to brush it off with a "let me know if you need a referral". I told him I did. But, then nothing happened...for months. Finally, I got serious and called a back doctor myself and they got the referral they needed, but then referred me to Primary Children's instead. That's where we saw Dr. Joshua Klatt. He's so great. He confirmed that Sarah has Scoliosis, with a 30° "S" curve. Here's what her x-rays looked like...

He told us that if we can keep it from getting worse, she should be okay. If the curve is in the 30° to 45° range, a brace is needed to keep it there, and sometimes it will improve it. After adolescence, when the bones are all hardened and full height is reached, the curve stays the same. Something weird happens with curved spines over 45°. Gravity seems to work against them and the curve just keeps getting worse, even though all growth and development is past. So, we're trying to at least keep it where it is, from getting to that 45° point, and trying our hardest to avoid surgery. (The tricky thing though, is we have no idea if she is done growing or not. Dr. Klatt said her hip bone in the x-rays looked like the cartilage cap was gone, and the bones are fully developed. But, girls usually stop growing 2 years after they start their period, and she's way behind in that. So, we're going to the endochronologist to see what we can find out about hormone levels, development, and such. ...And yet another thing she'll have to deal with!) So, until we know what we're up against, she has to wear a monster of a hard plastic brace 18 hours a day, every day (and night). If you've done the math, you've realized that the 6 hours off can't be during school or all of her sleep time (each is at least 8 hours). So, we've spent the last 4 months working up to wearing it that long, and as tight as she can. We were disappointed last month when we went for a follow-up with Dr. Klatt and found out that the brace has only been improving the curve 2°. She was so frustrated, but at least it's not gotten worse. We're now working with the brace people to get it to at least a 10°-15° improvement. Apparently, they do this with extra pads, tighter straps, etc.

Sometimes she complains, sometimes she "forgets", sometimes she hurts, and sometimes I nag. But, she's trying harder to be responsible for herself, and I'm trying harder to back off and trust her to care more and do all she can. It's been yet another struggle, and yet another item on her list of hard things she has to face and deal with. It's not fair, but as she has to remind herself often, Heavenly Father knows what she can handle. Well, apparently, she can handle much more than the rest of us. Bless her little heart...and intestines, and back...

Up To Our Eyeballs in Chocolate

"All I really need is love... But a little chocolate now and then doesn't hurt." (Lucy Van Pelt from "Peanuts" by Charles M. Schultz)

For Valentiene's day, Rachel sold handmade chocolates to earn the last $600 for her American Heritage trip. She went through Grandma Dixon's boxes of chocolate molds (she used to have a business) and decided what she wanted to make. I created a brochure for her and Steve and I sent it out to about 100 people by email. Grandma also took some to work and put them in the teacher's lounge with some samples. Well, when all was said and done, she brought in $1,369 ($1126 after costs), made 24 chocolate bars, 237 trays of heart mints, 459 heart suckers, 95 circle suckers with colored hearts, and 19 candy dishes filled with another 57 trays of mints. Through the undying devotion and help of her mom, and pulling her first ever all-nighter, she pulled out almost twice as much money as she needed for her trip. I was amazed at how hard she worked and how supportive our friends and parents were with her project. Several people sent the email out to their friends, and others gave her donations above and beyond what they had bought. Although we were exhausted and still scraping chocolate off the kitchen counters, chairs and floor for days, we were so grateful and it was a great experience... for both of us.

...And as if I hadn't had enough fun with Rachel, I decided this was how Sarah would earn her tuition money for her week-long summer session of EFY in August. So, we started the process again, but this time with Easter Chocolates. I knew, going into it, that Sarah is not as self-motivated, and that she couldn't stay up late and give up her sleep, so we planned to work all day while she was home on Spring Break. But, because of timing troubles, we only got half of the orders that she needed. So, we extended the order deadline for another week and got twice as many orders as we had before. She had school the week we did the second half of her orders, so this project became more of mom's than Sarah's once she went back to school. But, we did it again, and Sarah earned all the money she needed to pay her tuition and pay back all the money she owed us from fall coed. In the end, Sarah earned $485, and we made 12 chocolate bunnies, 31 bunny suckers, 32 bags of mints, and 199 peanut-butter filled eggs with 87 of those personalized and decorated. The eggs were kind of my project, so Sarah did most of the other things while I worked on those. I put in a couple of late nights, but I was grateful we didn't get the larger orders like Rachel's project. It was scaled down perfectly for the need and the kid. So, with the money she had in her bank, Sarah is completely out of debt, and a free woman! She paid us back the money for her tuition and the money she owed for coed and still has enough money for camp and some spending cash for EFY. She's also been babysitting a lot, realizing that money is much more valuable to her than before. It was a good learning experience for her, too.

I had a moment of insanity (must have been the lack of sleep) while I was working on Sarah's eggs where I thought about what a wonderful little business this could be for my girls. They could do parties, weddings, holiday treats and do it in their own time, from home. My mom has all sorts of molds and we could find suppliers for the chocolate and molds at wholesale prices...my mind was spinning, thinking of how to market it and what we'd need to do to get it going. (I think my husband has finally converted me to the entrepreneurial way of thinking. It kind of spirals out of control once you get those thoughts in there). It sounded good until the next day when I started thinking about how much of my time would be swallowed up in "helping" them. Maybe if they ever want a stay at home job bad enough, I'll help them again, or, if I get bored and need something to do (hahaha...) once my kids are all in school, I could do it myself. Until then, we'll just keep it to making occasional birthday and holiday treats for the family and remember this wonderful experience with my girls where we worked toward financial goals together while we were up to our eyeballs in chocolate!

A Patriarchal Blessing

On Saturday, February 28th, Sarah received her Patriarchal Blessing. She had been preparing for a few weeks by fasting, praying, reading articles, and having several conversations about them with me and Steve. She had an interview with the bishop, and called and made her appointment. I think we were all a little nervous, maybe for the same reasons. I was little worried, because of how many times we've almost lost her and how uncertain her future is to us, that the answers we've sought for so long might be revealed and not be the ones we really wanted. There are worries I had about her future and her potential I didn't want confirmed. I think Steve was having much of the same feelings. Sarah was nervous, as most recipients are, because of the unknown. Although she never expressed these feelings, I'm pretty sure she was also having some of the same feelings we were.

The stake Patriarch, Paul P. Peterson, is a very humble, soft-spoken man with a kind and gentle voice and demeanor. He introduced us to his wife and we sat in the living room and visited casually for a few minutes as we all got to know each other a little better. Then he took us downstairs to the room where he had the recorder and chair set up to give her blessing. He spoke beautiful, comforting words, revealing truths, and many specific instructions for Sarah. I know I shouldn't have been, but I was amazed when he mentioned the hardship of illness without knowing anything about her health history. It was a beautiful blessing, full of comfort, revelation, and hope. I was so grateful to be present, as I believe those words were something I needed to hear at this time of her life almost as much as she did. And though he didn't speak much, the tears that ran down his face and the constant squeeze of his had let me know that Steve was feeling much the same as I. Sarah had invited Rachel, as her best friend and support, and though she didn't say much either, I know she was touched by the words he spoke and saw her big sister in a little different light. It was a beautiful experience and we had such a beautiful peaceful spirit with us that none of us wanted to leave or talk. I'm really looking forward to having similar spiritual experiences with my other four children. I pray that Sarah will treasure her blessing, read and ponder if often, and follow with exactness the counsel she was given by her Heavenly Father. I also pray she will never forget how much He loves her.

A Brand New Basement Bedroom

The girls' Christmas gift from Santa (and Mom and Dad) this year was new bedspreads and pillows for their bedroom. We also spent days (literally) cleaning out, throwing away, reorganizing and then redecorating the whole thing. The girls threw away and got rid of more than 2/3 of the stuff in their room. I was so proud of them!! They helped paint and Steve put up more trim and new carpet. The carpet was given to us from some good friends. It fit, almost exactly perfect, including the closet, with no seams! Must have been meant to be! I wish I had before pictures to show how awful it was before, but here's proof of how absolutely cute it is now!!

Rachel's bed and wall...

Sarah's bed and wall...

The very organized shelves and closet...

One of the best things about their new look is that they love it so much that they love to hang out there and it is is clean almost all of the time! The clothes only stay on the floor for a few days at a time, and the junk disappears at least every Saturday! I'm so proud of them, and it was a great learning/teaching/relationship building experience for them! It's one of the best things we've could have done for (and with) them! Great job, girls!

Sing, Sing a Song...

In December (sometime), Sarah had her Holiday Choir concert. She's in general choir this trimester and has really enjoyed it. The concert was really nice. I was impressed with the director and how well the students sang—from the select choirs to the general choir, that had only practiced for six weeks. It was fun to see Sarah so excited about something she enjoyed. She's also made a whole bunch of new friends. It's always good to be involved in high school!