My October Gratitude List

Since things have been less than ideal in our lives this month, I thought I should share some of the things we are grateful for these days... (in no particular order, and most likely not a very complete list)

• For Primary Children's Medical Center - that the hospital is only 2 1/2 hours away, for incredible doctors and nurses that really care about Sarah, for specialists and cooperative teams trying to solve her problems, special teams like Child Life and Rainbow Kids, and that one of its purposes is to keep kids happy while they have to be here
• For the love, prayers, support and visits from our extended family, friends, ward family, and acquaintances
• That Steve's boss has been so understanding and flexible to help get us through this and keep his focus where it should be right now
• For Steve's friends that have helped with his city council campaign in his absence
• For home teachers that have mowed our gigantic lawn more than once
• That my mom is retired and has been able and willing to "move in" to take care of my kids so Steve and I could both be here as much as possible, and for my dad for helping and supporting her (and us)
• For Steve's parents for providing us with room and board, and wonderful meals, and company
• For Relief Society leaders that have completely taken over my calling so I could focus on my family
• For all of the "love" that has showed up on our doorstep... hospital snacks, presents for Sarah, meals, treats, Halloween surprises, cards, and money to help us through this stressful time
• That we have good insurance and Medicaid for Sarah so the hospital and doctor bills haven't caused any extra stress
• For social workers that arranged a room for us at the Ronald McDonald House and other reimbursement programs to help relieve some of our other financial burdens
• That my sweet sister-in-law sewed Bryson's Halloween costume so I wouldn't have to
• For our patient children at home that haven't complained, but pray every day that we'll be home together again soon
• For technology (like videocams and skype) that allow us to "be with" our kids sometimes
• For Steve's sisters that planned a "surprise Hawaiian luau" to brighten Sarah's otherwise frustrating and disappointing weekend
• For the family members and friends that have come to visit, bring meals, do crafts with Sarah, and brighten our prolonged stay at the hospital
• For our sweet daughter Sarah, and her incredible example of faith and long-suffering
• For our Heavenly Father's love and care, His plan, blessings, and tender mercies
• For our Savior, Jesus Christ, and His infinite love and atonement that grants us the strength to endure and the grace sufficient to overcome

Joshua's Baptism

 

On Saturday, June 4th, my fourth child was baptized a member of The Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints. Since he was about 6, Josh has been so anxious. He was so happy that day that he could finally be baptized! Grandma and Grandpa Brown were here still from Sarah's graduation. It was a happy, calm, beautiful morning. After our traditional breakfast of rolled-up pancakes, we sent him in to get ready. I've never seen that boy get his church clothes on so fast in his whole life!

(See...? Everyone else is still their pajamas!)

After he was ready, he opened a present from us (his family) and was so excited, he could hardly stand it. He started reading 1 Nephi that very moment. He took his scriptures to the baptism with him and read in the car both ways.

The man of the hour... our future missionary!

At the church, we met up with lots of family and friends who came to share his special day. Grandma and Grandpa Dixon, aunts, uncles and cousins, home teachers, and primary leaders were there.

Daddy and Joshua

Our whole happy family!

Joshua with Grandpa and Grandma Dixon

 The Stake presented the baptism portion of the program and then we went to the room where the font is and witnessed his baptism. He was so happy, and hugged his daddy for a really long time (and that takes a lot... he's a very cuddly boy). While our "boys" got dressed, we were excused into our own little room where we waited for them and then had a little meeting for his confirmation. After our good bishop, Bishop Lothspeich, said some neat things about Joshua and the ordinance he had just participated in, Grandma Brown told some stories and shared her sweet testimony about the Holy Ghost. Then, surrounded by men that love him and hold the Holy Priesthood, Joshua was confirmed and received the gift of the Holy Ghost. It was so sweet, and beautiful words were spoken. I love, love, love that my husband (and equal partner in raising these amazing kids) is worthy and able to baptize and confirm my children. It brings tears to my eyes just to think of the gratitude I have that he is able to perform such vital ordinances for of our children. I'm so proud of my little Joshua and his sweet little testimony and desire to do what's right. He tried so hard during the weeks before his baptism to choose the right and be extra kind and thoughtful. Oh, how I love him!

After all the hugs, we came back home  to change clothes and... we partied!! Our new house and yard is so perfect for such events and it was an amazing beautiful summer day! We had pizza and pop (Joshua's choice) with fruit and treats. The kids played and the grown ups sat around and visited. It was wonderful, relaxing, and the perfect end to a perfectly fabulous day!

Aaarrrgghh! It's Captain Nathan and his matey, Uncle Richard.

Our littlest cousins Kassandra and Hailey

Grandpa and Grandma Dixon, Uncle David and Aunt Valaire, Mommy, Aunt Sheri, Gramdma Brown, Jared and Jeff

Grandpa Brown, Aunt Kristina, Shannon, Uncle Kelly, and Kassandra

Daddy, Uncle Richard, Aunt Kathy, Jesse Vincent (our junior home teacher) and Rachel

Resting and visiting. Grandpa Dixon is resting best! :)

Kassie loved her mommy's chocolate sheet cake!

We love our sweet Joshua!

A Car Wash, Butterfly and Two Life Lessons

Yesterday, we decided it was about time we washed our filthy cars. They're big cars... a blazer and suburban. The neighbor commented about how great it was that the whole family was helping since they're such big cars. Really, we thought it would be good to work together to teach our children that working together can be fun and that it helps get the work done faster, but I think there was a lot more playing going on than working. We did have fun, and all the kids were soaked. While the suburban was getting rinsed, a beautiful tiger swallowtail butterfly landed right on the wet hood. Its delicate wings immediately stuck to the water on the hood and it was trapped. The kids all started yelling and Steve came over to see what was going on. The butterfly was fighting with all it had ("freaking out" was what Joshua called it) to get free from that wet hood. Steve carefully put his finger by its front legs and it climbed onto his finger. He gently put it on a plant in the sun to dry. The poor butterfly kept trying to flap its wings, but one was so wet it stayed stuck to the leaf for a long time.

After about 15 minutes, its wings were dry, and it crawled to the shady underside of the leaf. I imagine it was recovering from its exhausting ordeal and trying to "catch its breath". After about another half hour, it crawled to the top, and spread its wings and flew away. We saw another one in the back yard later (when we were "having fun" weeding the garden) and Bryson was sure it was the same one coming back to thank us for helping.

Life Lesson #1: When Steve and I were wiping down the windows of the car, we opened the doors and wiped out the inside as well. I was amazed at how disgustingly dirty the windows were in the back seats and that I hadn't even noticed how filthy the car was inside until the outside was clean. We talked about how when things gradually get dirty, you don't even notice just how gross it was until it's clean again. Kind of like life... sometimes we worry more about what our outsides are like, and forget to take a look inside of our minds and our hearts and don't really realize just how neglected and dirty it is in there. If every little smudge, dust speck, and sticky fingerprint is allowed to settle and find a home, pretty soon you're awfully dirty and haven't even noticed. It reminded me how important it is to prepare myself to take the Sacrament each week. It's like a car wash. Well, more like a full professional car detail, actually. Everything wiped clean, sparkling and vacuumed out...even in the tiniest cracks. Add a little air freshener smelling of humility and gratitude, and you can't feel much better than that.

Life Lesson #2: I thought about that poor butterfly and how absolutely panic-stricken it must have been when it landed on the hood and immediately recognized its mistake. Sometimes we do things that seem like a good idea at the time, but immediately realize it wasn't a very good idea. Sometimes we panic, trying our hardest to get free, and the only way we can escape is by the hand that reaches out to our aid. The only way He can help us though, is if we trust Him, and step up on His finger where He can move us to a safe place. Sometimes our struggles are because of our poor judgment or bad choices. However, the kinds of struggles that are hardest for me to just climb on and trust Him are the ones that are simply a product of mortal circumstances. I know that He has the ability to put me in a warm, safe place to dry out and wait until I'm able to fly again. He has done that for me over and over again. But there are those few minutes, where I somehow forget what He can do, and just "freak out", trying so hard to make it on my own, and wear myself out. I learned something important from that butterfly yesterday. It didn't even hesitate to step onto Steve's finger. It may have been instinct, or it may have been desperation, but that butterfly knew what needed to happen to be saved. I hope that in these struggles of mortality, when the Lord's finger appears in my path again, that I will be willing to just step out and trust Him to lead me to the sunshine to rest until I am whole and can fly again.

A Walk with Christ, Faith, and Growth

This is the second year our stake has put on the "Walk with Christ". It's a huge undertaking, with months of preparation, prayers and work. They put on a "journey" through the stake center and through the life of Christ. The stake center is transformed and decorated with period details, costumes on guides and actors and the most beautiful paintings of the Savior you've ever seen. It starts with the nativity and the continues through His ministry, the Last Supper, the garden, the judgment, the crucifixion, the apostasy, the restoration and then ends with the "Reflections of Christ"slide show. Well, and of course, cookies and water in a beautifully decorated gym reminiscent of a Temple Square visitor's center afterward. It's a beautiful experience to walk through with your family and feel the Spirit and remember at Easter time what it's really about.

This year, I was asked to to serve with the Walk with Christ committee on this project, decorating the Last Supper room. The “calling” came at a time when I was overwhelmed and didn’t see how I could fulfill this assignment. Steve was working evenings on the campaign and not available, and with my children’s rigorous and rigid homework routines and their evening appointments and activities, and my calling as Stake YW president and our upcoming activities, it was a very daunting task that I almost declined, twice. I prayed and asked for help and to know if this was truly an inspired assignment for me at this time, and received a positive answer through my sleepless thoughts of how I would be able to make this work. Faces and pictures appeared in my mind. My mom and visiting teacher both volunteered to help with kids, and my amazing counselors took over the planning of our upcoming fireside. As I started talking about it, people gave me contacts, ideas, mental images, props and loaned much of their home décor to help me. So, with faith and trust in the Lord, many, many prayers, and hours of study and organizing, I went forward and accomplished a near-impossible task.

I heard Brother Winder (a good friend of ours who acted as one of my "Peters") on a couple of occasions talk about his experience in helping with this project. He said it was truly one of the most spiritual and life-changing experiences he’s ever had. No wonder I saw his face in my mind after prayer. The Lord really did use me as an instrument in His hands. Many people’s lives (in addition to my own) were touched and changed. I also got to accomplish a Faith Value Project in my Personal Progress book. My faith grew tremendously through this process and I relied on the Lord for inspiration and support, and He provided it at every turn.

In this experience, I learned that through faith and prayer anything is possible. More importantly, though, I also learned that the Lord knows what we can and can’t handle. Sometimes He places opportunities for growth in our path that may be hard, inconvenient and extremely taxing. I know that sometimes those opportunities can be turned down or passed by with little consequence. But, I learned that when we ask and the Lord makes a way possible for us to accomplish these hard, almost impossible tasks, we must continue to pray, trust, and do all in our power to do our best in what he asks of us. If we do, he really does make up the difference…. And gives us the power to make a difference.

Details...Details...
Here's how the "Last Supper Room" looked...

The view to the left as you walk in the room...

...and the right...

"Peter" was behind this table telling his story of the Last Supper and Jesus washing his and the other disciples' feet.

...And the left side as you exit into the Garden Room.

A Patriarchal Blessing

On Saturday, February 28th, Sarah received her Patriarchal Blessing. She had been preparing for a few weeks by fasting, praying, reading articles, and having several conversations about them with me and Steve. She had an interview with the bishop, and called and made her appointment. I think we were all a little nervous, maybe for the same reasons. I was little worried, because of how many times we've almost lost her and how uncertain her future is to us, that the answers we've sought for so long might be revealed and not be the ones we really wanted. There are worries I had about her future and her potential I didn't want confirmed. I think Steve was having much of the same feelings. Sarah was nervous, as most recipients are, because of the unknown. Although she never expressed these feelings, I'm pretty sure she was also having some of the same feelings we were.

The stake Patriarch, Paul P. Peterson, is a very humble, soft-spoken man with a kind and gentle voice and demeanor. He introduced us to his wife and we sat in the living room and visited casually for a few minutes as we all got to know each other a little better. Then he took us downstairs to the room where he had the recorder and chair set up to give her blessing. He spoke beautiful, comforting words, revealing truths, and many specific instructions for Sarah. I know I shouldn't have been, but I was amazed when he mentioned the hardship of illness without knowing anything about her health history. It was a beautiful blessing, full of comfort, revelation, and hope. I was so grateful to be present, as I believe those words were something I needed to hear at this time of her life almost as much as she did. And though he didn't speak much, the tears that ran down his face and the constant squeeze of his had let me know that Steve was feeling much the same as I. Sarah had invited Rachel, as her best friend and support, and though she didn't say much either, I know she was touched by the words he spoke and saw her big sister in a little different light. It was a beautiful experience and we had such a beautiful peaceful spirit with us that none of us wanted to leave or talk. I'm really looking forward to having similar spiritual experiences with my other four children. I pray that Sarah will treasure her blessing, read and ponder if often, and follow with exactness the counsel she was given by her Heavenly Father. I also pray she will never forget how much He loves her.

The Christmas Spirit

This month has flown by, and despite my greatest intentions of doing something different this year to help us feel the Christmas Spirit, life has gotten in the way, and there are many things we haven't done. However, we have had a sweeter, kinder spirit in our home with more patience and love. We attended Christmas Piano Recitals, The Gateway Foundation's "A Dickens Christmas", the annual Dixon Family Home Evening complete with Christmas program and the children acting out the Nativity, and Grandma's Cousins Christmas Party. The girls and I sang in the choir and Rachel played a piano solo for the ward Christmas program, we gave gifts for some children in our ward that needed them, and have been busy enjoying Christmas movies, projects, and treats. The boys count down each day, and still haven't figured out if you count "today" or not. Although it's not been quite what I wanted for us this year, it's been a good month. We're reflective and grateful, happy and healthy. I watched this video that was posted on the church website the other day, and it made me stop and think again. Sometimes we just need a little of a child's sweetness to help us stay focused. The Christmas Spirit

Christmas Time

It's finally here! It's Christmas time! I love this time of the year. So far, I've celebrated with handfuls of mint holiday m&m's, decorating the house, making hot chocolate, watching the Polar Express, watching my boys and honey shovel show, and playing endless hours of Christmas music. The kids helped me string popcorn and we decorated the tree last night, too. It's so pretty. I loved sitting around it together last night, talking about Christmas and what it means to us and what we want this year to be like, while we enjoyed the soft music and cuddled around the sparkling lights. I'd really like to do something this year with my kids to help us feel and remember the true spirit and meaning of Christmas.

We watched the First Presidency Christmas Devotional Sunday night. That was a great step in the right direction. I loved the message from President Monson. I was reminded us about my need to simplify and just spend time together doing the things that help us remember Jesus. I also enjoyed Pres. Uchtdorf's talk about how over the years, even in Christ's time, people have spent so much energy trying to "find" Christ, but because they're focused on the wrong things, they end up missing him. The music, Pres. Eyring's talk, the whole spirit that I felt, snuggled up in my blanket in my festive living room, made me feel a sense of peace, and confirmed that we really need to do something that would help our family feel Christ in our lives, most especially during this wonderful Christmas time!

Kristina sent me to the lds.org website and there's a resource to help families put Christ back in their Christmas celebrations. Here's the Link: Christ: The Real Gift of Christmas. It was so cool, the list of ideas—some of which we're already doing, and the ones that I really want to try this year. There's the 12 days of Christmas, where you read a scripture about the birth of Christ, each night, the 12 days before Christmas. There are lots of other neat ideas, too. We're also talking about giving some of our Christmas budget money to help someone who has less than we do, and needs more than they have. The kids are pretty excited about that, too. We have been so abundantly blessed this year, we definitely need to do something to show the Lord our gratitude.

On Top of the World...Almost

The greatest adventure of my life, well, except becoming a wife and mommy, was climbing Table Rock Mountain near the Tetons on Thursday, July 2nd. Can I just tell you I did several things that day I never thought I would ever have the guts to do? It was the most exhilarating and exhausting experience of my life. (Boy, I really don't get out much.)

We were planning to climb Mt. Borah while my sister, Shaunna, and her husband, Eric were here visiting from Alaska, but we found out there would be too much snow with the late summer season this year to climb without special equipment. So, we decided at the last minute to climb Table Rock instead. None of us had been there, except Eric's nephew, and we decided it would work. (Not being quite as physically prepared as I would have liked to be, I was relieved to find out it was a class 2 instead of the class 3 climb we were preparing for on Mt. Borah.)

Hayden (Eric's nephew), David, Jeff (Eric's brother), Eric, Sylinda (Eric's sister), Rachel, Me, and Shaunna all packed up to overflowing for our overnight camping and day hike

We left Wednesday evening for a short (very restless) night's sleep at the a campground near the base of the mountain. The next morning, we were ready to set off by 5:30. I was sleepy, but excited and a little nervous about what lay ahead. We walked uphill a while and then into this beautiful area that was mostly level. There were amazing plants, tiny little streams and beautiful trees.

Jurassic-Style plants...

...And a beautiful place we named Twilight Meadow

After a nice little walk for an hour or so, I was feeling pretty good and confident that I could definitely do this. After all, this is the kind of hiking I was used to. Then we saw the river...and everything changed. We decided that taking off shoes and socks would be a good way to cross so we wouldn't have to hike the whole day in wet shoes. Eric crossed first to get a feel for what we were dealing with. It was only about knee-deep, until just before the big rock at the end, there was a nice big hole, where the water swirled about to my hip.

Rachel crossing the river

It was so cold, our toes were numb by the time you got to the other side. We spent a few minutes on the rock, recovering, drying out, and warming our feet enough to be able to walk again. Okay, I must be exaggerating a little because while we were all whining and trying to recover, a spry little "elf" came running across the river and ran past us up the mountain. We sat there with our mouths hanging open, and we heard him chuckle as he ran past. (We called him the "elf"through the rest of the trip. He was kind of a small guy with very short light hair, covered from neck to toe in white under armor and wearing running shorts. We saw him a few more times, and each time he was smiling, running, jumping...almost prancing. We kinda made fun of him, but I think most of us were just jealous.)

Here's what the river looked like just a little farther up

Well, we had to cross the river three more times. The next time was much like the first. A little swifter, but not quite as deep. Eric walked back and forth to walk each of us safely across. Our clothes were still wet and our toes were still pretty cold from the first time, so it didn't take as much courage to get in the water. We were so excited the third time, to see a log that wasn't covered by high water that we could actually cross safely. So excited, in fact, that we had to have a picture!

The last time across, the guys scouted out a safe spot with logs, rocks and land bar, where we could cross without taking off our shoes and not get swept away. Thank goodness for the men in our life!

The rest of the way up the mountain was a mixture of rock, mud, snow packs, and losing and finding the trails. There were several times we stopped to rest, that I was amazed at how far we'd gone, and how treacherous this hike of mine actually was. Without the trail and the switchbacks, it was quite a bit more difficult. The snow was crunchy on the top, and when you stepped into it, the slush underneath gave way to the weight and you'd end up knee-deep in top-crusted slush. After the first good snow patch, our feet were cold, and yep...soaked. Ah...the irony!

The perspective's a little off in this picture, but looking back down, you can see where we came through the break in the trees.

After one rest stop, here's what we still had ahead of us. Aaaahhh.... No wonder I almost quit here.

Things went from challenging to downright scary for me when we reached an area the ladies among us affectionately named "the cliffs of insanity". I was standing there, watching my brother scale this mountain (he said it was actually more of a "scramble"... oooo-kaaay!) and thought, "You've got to be kidding." Unfortunately for me, nobody was kidding.

Rachel and I waited at the bottom with Eric, while everybody else went up two at a time. It wasn't really as hard as I thought it would be, but sometimes, when feet above us left their place, loose rocks fell. So Eric became our rock caller. There was a good-sized rock, about 6 inches or so across, that came falling down (from seemingly nowhere) at a pretty good speed. Eric yelled, "rock!" and I looked up to see where it was coming from. I couldn't see it. Then, all of a sudden I saw it coming straight for me, so I just ducked and put my arm up to cover my face. It slammed into the side of my arm and fell with a thud to the ground at my feet. Kind of freaked out, I looked and saw a nice gash in in my arm. I didn't hurt or bleed as bad as I expected it to. It was just kind of numb and I was able to use it pretty well to climb to the ridge on top. Shaunna and David cleaned, doctored, and taped it up for me, after the guys got a good look. After he knew I was really okay, Eric said, "Wow, a flesh wound. ...I want a flesh wound!" I was so proud! (Just a note, after the hike, we stopped in Rexburg on the way home and had it stapled—yeah, kind of creepy—at the urgent care. It got pretty swollen, bruised and ugly by the weekend, but is all healed now and looks pretty good.) In keeping with my accident-prone tradition, I was the only one on the hike that got hurt, but was also the only one that came home with my own kind of "badge of courage". Now I look at the scar as a great reminder of all the incredible experiences and memories associated with that trip. After a brief rest at the top of the ridge, we headed through more snow and slate or shale rock patches up toward Table Rock.

At the top of the last ridge, just before the steepest ascent, and only about a mile to the top, I got to the point where I was counting 40 steps, and then resting 20 breaths and forced myself to keep going. I thanked Heavenly Father for keeping me safe and asked Him to give me just a little more strength to go a little farther. We got to one spot, where everybody was resting just before the final ascent, where I made a decision. I knew I wouldn't be able to make it any further. It killed me, knowing I had made it that far and wasn't going to get to the top, but It was exhilarating when I thought about all I'd been through and done that day. I was totally exhausted and knew I needed some good rest so I could make it back down. When I caught up with everyone, I told them I was going to wait there for them. I had plenty of snacks, a walkie-talkie and was in a beautiful, safe place at the top of the mountain. Eric volunteered several times to help me get up to the top, but I declined and told them to go on without me. I was a little emotional when Rachel walked back and hugged me before she left. As I watched them all walk away, the tears flowed freely. I was totally exhausted, the muscle in my arm was getting really sore, and I was pretty disappointed, but I couldn't help marveling at what God was able to help me do.

Just at the top of the snowy ridge (by my shoulder) is where I took my time-out.

I spent the next couple of hours resting, eating trail mix, praying (there's just something about talking to God on the top of His mountains...), listening to progress reports, and watching the storm roll in from Driggs. (Another miracle side note... just like I asked Him to, Heavenly Father stayed the storm on the mountain top until everyone was safe again. Halfway down, the heavens opened up and it poured!) Rachel took some beautiful pictures at the tippy-top, and contacted me when she made it! I was so proud of her!

A view of the Tetons from the top of Table Rock with the clouds waiting to burst

A look down the other side

A look into the valley. You can sort of see Alpine and Driggs up near the top, where the rain's poring down.

After everyone came back, they rested a few minutes and we headed back down the mountain. Eric ran into some scouts on the way up that told us that the trail they took up was much steeper, but easy to follow, and probably safer. We followed that trail on the "face", going back down the mountain. I liked it a lot better. I was really through with adventure and danger for the day.

A little easier trail, huh? It got a lot steeper later, but I was grateful we had a trail!

...And more beautiful scenery, with a lot less snow.

At the very end, our smiles look a little more weary, but we were so glad we did it!

Physical, mental, emotional, spiritual...exhaustion. All I can say was that it was an amazing experience. As with most incredible experiences these days, I spent a lot of time reflecting and feeling thankful on the way home. I was grateful for nice hiking shoes my sweet husband insisted buying me, the same amazing man who stayed home with the other kids and pushed me out the door for adventure, a sweet daughter that kept me company and inspired me along the trail, a smart "mountain man" brother-in-law that took very good care of us and kept me safe, a wonderful younger brother and sister who slowed down several times to walk with me and tell me that I was doing great, and a best friend (the same sister) who convinced me I could do this in the first place. Thank you all. I had the time of my life!

Royal Generation: Alameda Stake Girls Camp 2009

Girls Camp this summer was wonderful! The theme was "Royal Generation" and focused on our Heritage as Daughters of a Heavenly King. Theme was also based on the mutual theme for this year and Pres. Monson's talk entitled "Be Thou an Example". The same four areas of focus we used at Youth Conference were highlighted each day at Girls Camp (Truth, Heritage, Withstand and Testimony).

One of the highlights to being in the Stake Young Women is the opportunity I have to spend time with the stake's older young women. The 5th year girls are the junior leaders and help run stake camp. This year they were all so awesome and got along so well. We didn't have any of the girl-drama that usually happens with that many teen-aged girls in the same place for that long. They were helpful, happy to be there, and such a great example to the younger girls of the stake.

A couple of the highlights for me were Monday night Family Home Evening with the stake girls, and the Thursday night program.

The stake leaders always go up a day early to set up and spend some time together before all the wards arrive the next day. The Stake YW presidency did the FHE lesson and taught about scripture study. (The focus was on truth.) My counselors shared some ideas for effective study and a few object lessons. Then I talked about the scriptures being like "letters from home", and that Heavenly Father's messages (answers) sometimes come only when we open the scriptures. I shared a couple of examples of when this has happened in my life, and then invited the girls to share, if they had anything they wanted to. I was really surprised (at this early in the week) that there were several who opened up and shared such sweet experiences and testimony with us. There was a really amazing spirit around that campfire and really set the stage for the week ahead.

Thursday night, the girls and Stake Camp leaders put on a program from Jenny Phillips. It was based off her book, The Parable of the Princesses. Each of the girls had a part, there were pictures and music, with the girls acting it out in princess costumes. It was amazing. It illustrated the choices they may be faced with, and where their focus should be. The message for the girls was so timely and taught them again who they truly are daughters of God and that their Savior loves them. This was followed by Pres. Axford's remarks and testimony meetings in wards. It was a beautiful night.

Camp, as always, was amazing. The Stake Camp Director, Michelle Winder (my good friend) and her assistants, along with the junior leaders did such an incredible job! I got to be there with Sarah at the stake, and Rachel one camp away. I love girls' camp and am so grateful for the sweet reminders it gives my spirit, too.

Just a note: The only thing that I can't figure out, is how to make the girls realize how much happier their leaders would be if we could get some sleep. I couldn't believe how most of them would stay up way past 3:00 a.m., and then be happy and sweet all the next day. I must say, though, most nights they'd be playing in the lodge bathroom by 1:00 so the leaders could "sleep" (yeah, right). I was amazed that they could keep going like that all week. I'm guessing they all crashed pretty good when they got home on Friday. I know it took me several days to recover from that. Gosh, I'm getting old!

Youth Conference - Mighty Miracles

I apologize ahead of time that this post is so long. It was such an amazing weekend, I couldn't cut any more details out!!

The greatest thing about being the Stake Young Women President is working with the "cream of the crop" youth from each ward to plan and execute a stake youth conference. I spend so much time working with these kids, I end up loving them and wanting to just adopt them! They are so amazing!

Our theme this year was based on this year's mutual theme and Pres. Monson's talk, Be Thou an Example. The kids planned a "secret agent" training based on the four codes of conduct found in the talk. "You have a heritage; honor it. You will meet temptation; withstand it. You know the truth; live it. You have a testimony; share it." We spent about 2 1/2 hours on each of these codes of conduct with activities that would allow their testimonies to grow. At the end of each group of activities, the group leader did a little tie together lesson and explained how these activities would apply to their lives.

The heritage group played a laser web game where twine was wrapped around trees to create a "web" and the kids had to get through it without touching the twine, recover the loot (steal the bacon), a grenade throw (water balloon launch w/towels), archery target practice, and pioneer games like stick pull and potato sack races. As the first group, we had to get some of the "basic training" in, too! The "lasers" were set up so one was easy and one was hard, like following Jesus or Satan. Also, to get to the field, it was roped off and a path was laid out for them to follow. They compared this to obedience to Heavenly Father and our earthly parents, who provide us with the most appropriate and safe path to follow through life.

We had dinner after the heritage activities, and then the Truth group did their part. We played a "Family Feud" style gospel quiz game and there was an awesome speaker, Bro. Chris Fawcett, who was a seminary teacher, former EFY speaker, and son of one of our bishops. (We sure lucked out there.) He started by telling us we were all going on an imaginary trip and told us to write down anything we wanted to know about the trip. As we went through the questions (Where are we going? When will we return? How do we prepare? What will it cost? and so on), he answered them by explaining our Father's glorious plan of happiness. He told us we were going to earth, and expounded on our purposes here and what our Heavenly Father's plan is for us. After that, he had mirrors he passed out, and had us stare at ourselves for a whole minute and then write what we saw. That's where the Spirit touched me the most. Sharing my feelings about my relationship with my Father in Heaven and Savior, even just with myself on paper, made me realize and feel their love so strongly. To close, we sang "I Am a Child of God". I think it was a touching and life-changing experience for several of the kids. The kids went back to their wards and had special time with their bishops and leaders to discuss the things they learned and that touched them that day.

The next morning, after breakfast, the Tempatation group did their part. They did a "mine field" game where the kids had to make their way through an obstacle course just by listening to someone they trust. The guides were all yelling at once, so it was hard to hear the one voice they were supposed to listen to (like parents, leaders, or the Holy Ghost). They played an Iron Rod game, where with each question asked (like, Did you read your scriptures yesterday? Did you say your prayers this morning? Did you thank someone today? etc.) they moved forward or farther aside from the point they were at. This demostrated the things they should be doing in order to have a firm grip and move forward on the iron rod. Another game they played was a string game where they talked about temptations they had to face and how they would deal with them. As each person talked, they threw a ball of yarn and made a "web" of temptations and resolutions that they bounced a ball on.

Our Testimony activity was last. We had a testimony meeting in the lodge and all the kids on the youth council, except maybe a couple, bore testimony of the things we taught and felt that weekend. Several adults and many more kids than I expected also bore their testimonies for over an hour. We heard things like, "I was sitting there thinking about...", and "I really liked how ___ made me think about ___", "I wasn't going to come, but now I'm so grateful that I did", and "now I know that God exists and loves me". Aparently, the things the youth council were inspired to do, caused much reflection and strengthening of testimonies. YEA!

The thing that impressed me the most, though, was the mighty miracles that took place. The strengthening of testimonies, the new resolve of kids that were struggling, the examples that were re-committed, the smiles and involvement of the "I'm not going to do this" kids, the friendships that grew, and the mightiest of all—that God watched over it all, with His blessing.

The rain in Southeast Idaho has hit record highs, and we were really worried about how this would affect our plans, since many of the activities had to be outside. We have a beautiful place, Camp Cumorah, where we had the conference. There is an amazing enclosed lodge for shelter, but the great outdoors was our sleeping place and landscape for the majority of the conference. On our way up there, the rain poured so hard, the mud roads were slippery and we had to slow down to hit the curves safely. The youth council set up in the sprinkling rain, hoping (and praying) that the rain would stop. Just a little while before the wards started arriving, there was a beautiful white cloud showing through a miraculous blue hole in the sky. Within a half hour the whole sky was "sealed" and the rain didn't really come down again until it was all over. About the time we were on our way home again, it seemed that the heavens opened again, and all the rain that was held back fell at once. Again, we slowed down, this time to avoid hitting the other cars on the freeway. The wipers weren't keeping up. It was among the most amazing things I've ever seen. I know that Heavenly Father heard and answered many prayers, and knew that there were glorious things to happen at that Conference, and all had to be in order (including the weather) for those things to take place. He is most definitely aware of us, and most definitely knows what we need, and most definitely, without a doubt, blesses us.

TOFW 2009

Do you ever wonder if something you've committed to give your time to is really what you should be doing? It's one of those good-better-best dilemmas, when you're not sure which good thing is best. I wasn't planning on going to Time Out for Women when it came to Pocatello this time because I had just spent money and left my family for Women's Conference and life looks pretty crazy every weekend in June. But, when I found out that a bunch of my best friends were all going, with my good husband's blessing, I split a ticket with one of them and marked on my calendar to go to TOFW on Saturday. Even up until the night before, though, I wondered if my time would be better spent at home, cleaning house, preparing for Youth Conference, or just being with my family. Although all of those things would have been good things to do, I think the Lord knew that this was something I really needed. I learned so much, was touched by the Spirit, and felt renewed and loved again!

...the certainty that comes when you know life's truths.

There were four speakers on Saturday and Hilary Weeks (one of my favorites) was the musical guest. They were all amazing, but the one talk that touched my heart and caused me to ponder the most was Wendy Ulrich's. Her talk was entitled "Weakness: Your Curse or Your Blessing?" She explained that there is a huge difference between sin and weakness. When she explained the difference and compared the two, I could feel it in my heart that the things she taught were true. I suddenly felt lighter, as if a burden had been lifted from my shoulders. I know I'm my own harshest judge, but when I do something I know I shouldn't have done, like lose control and yell at my kids, I feel guilty and bad about it way too long after I've tried to repent and make it better. The biggest reason I think I do this is that when I slip and do it again, it makes me feel like I'm not ever improving, or truly repenting of the sin. When Sis. Ulrich explained that weaknesses are inadequacies, predispositions, emotions, temptations, etc. and that we all have them simply because we are mortals, it really made a lot of sense to me. Jesus also had weaknesses because He was mortal, and had to be so He could know how to succor us in our time of need. Although we should be constantly working to rise above them, many of our weaknesses cannot be eliminated in this life. We must be humble and meek. God will make up the difference through His grace and mercy. She said that Heavenly Father really "gets" where we are. He knows the state we are in, or where our hearts are, and offers us grace and forgiveness so we can become more like Him...who we are meant to be. It reminded me yet again, of the love of my Heavenly Father and that He really does bless me with exactly what I need. I pray that through my weaknesses I can become more humble and someday I can be made perfect through Christ, who strengthens me in my weaker moments.

Help, Gratitude and A Broken Bow

A few weeks ago for Family Home Evening, Nathan was in charge of the Lesson. It was about Nephi, and with Daddy's help, they told the story of when his bow broke. (1Nephi 16: 18-32) It was paraphrased something like this.... When Nephi's bow broke, everyone complained and were mad because they couldn't get food and were hungry. Nephi made a new bow and some arrows and took rocks and a sling and asked his father where to go to get food. His family was humbled because of his words and felt sad that he had complained. Lehi, his father, asked the Lord where he should go to hunt. Nephi went to the top of the mountains, with the directions the Lord had given, and got food for his family. Then, everybody felt sorry they had been angry and thanked God for helping them.

There were two lessons Nathan (and Steve) tried to teach us that night. The first was that when we have a problem, we should try our hardest to do all we can, and then humbly ask for help. We can ask our parents, friends, and Heavenly Father, and there, we can find answers to our hardest problems. Second, was in the very last verse, where it said they humbled themselves and gave thanks. When we receive that help, we must always be humble enough to recognize the blessings given to us and where they came from. We have to thank God for all he does for us, always.

BYU Women's Conference 2009

Women's Conference this year was wonderful! (As always.) The theme was "In the strength of the Lord." There were so many good talks and inspiring messages. Strength in the Lord is exactly what I've been searching for. I came home with my spiritual bucked filled up again.

Mom, Valarie, Jalynn (Val's sister) and I went together this year. I had a horrible cold the first day, so I think I missed the majority of what the Spirit was trying to teach me. But the second day, I was armed with my Tylenol cold medicine and cough drops, and actually felt a lot better. I know I got more out of the messages that day!

We made sure we spent some time helping with the humanitarian service projects in the Smith Field House this time. We worked on the school kits for an hour or so. It always makes me feel so good to know that some sweet little children somewhere across the world will have new notebooks, crayons and pencils. I wish I could be there to see their faces when those items are received with such gratitude. This was Jalynn's first year, and the service was definitely the highlight for her.

Summed up, here are a few things I learned, or thoughts and quotes that have caused me to reflect, evaluate and re-commit...

• Whether it's dealing with trials, standing strong in my standards, protecting my family, or rearranging my priorities,"In the strength of the Lord" I can do all things.
• Those who rely on the Lord understand the purpose of adversity and the nature of God. They go forward in faith, trusting Him They know that though the winds of mortality will blow, they find joy and peace in knowing the Lord.
• From the New Testament story of John and Jesus walking on the water: 1) Look to Christ and trust Him; 2) Take a leap of faith and follow the Lord; 3) Be aware of distractions; 4) Get back on track - call to Jesus for help; 5) Jesus will stretch forth His hands and bless us in our time of need.
• Do I look for ways to look forward and get up and get moving even when things are hard?
  
• "Your future is as bright as your faith". --Pres. Gordon B. Hinckley
• Keep a clear focus on the blessings of eternal life. It changes the way we talk, act dress and live.
• The Lord has promised to give us the righteous desires of our hearts. If you want to be happy, you must do what you've been told that brings happiness.
• Would you know if the Lord was sending you a message? Turn off the background noise and save some time for quiet moments to ponder. Delicate and sensitive attention is vital to our spirits.
• Build your home facing the temple and the important things will take their proper place in our lives while the unimportant things will drop out completely.
• If we don't put Christ first, it won't matter what else we put first!

Saturday we went for our annual DI shopping trip (Provo DI is huge...), and then to the Tulip Festival at Thanksgiving Point. The flowers were so beautiful. Here's a sampling...

Love the red, white and blue

Me, Valarie and Mom

Valarie and Jalynn

Parrot tulips

The garden walkway

After seeing some of the garden (the free part), we drove up to Gardner Village near Salt Lake. We had lunch at the restaurant in the old mill. It was so yummy, and fun to sit and visit a little more. It started raining after lunch, so we had to run between all the little shops. We had so much fun planning our home decor for when we have unlimited funds. It's definitely where I would go to furnish my house if money didn't matter!

We had such a nice time together. It was kind of sad dropping Jalynn off at the airport and heading home. It meant the weekend was really over. I was ready to be back with my family, but I know that the things I felt and learned sometimes don't stick with me very long after I start back in real life again. I always come home renewed and feeling happy, grateful, and like I can conquer the world. I hope I can apply these thoughts and principles to my life and help them stick this time! My life is so good.