Young Women Broadcast... Live!

As Sarah was approaching her last few months in Young Women's, I felt like I needed to seize the opportunity to take the girls to Salt Lake to the Young Women Broadcast and see it live. I've wanted to for the past few years, but as a stake leader, felt like we needed to stay here and support local viewing and dessert... looking back, I'm really not sure why, but just never did it. Well, not having that reason anymore, I decided it was something we just HAD to do, and since Steve agreed with me, we just did it!

I arranged with the Stake Presidency to get tickets and we took a Saturday trip to Salt Lake on March 26th. The girls had decided to take turns riding in the front and choosing the music. We sang along, laughed and talked non-stop the whole way. We stopped along the way at Kim's Fashions in Layton (to buy $3 earring/necklace sets) and then to the Olive Garden for lunch. Rachel and Sarah both had raviolis (Sarah had portabella and Rachel had cheese), and I had the Venetian apricot grilled chicken (only 6 WW PlusPoints and so delicious!) We went over to the Layton Hills Mall to shop, but after Rachel spent all her money at the first store, we just walked around to see what a real mall looked like.

When we got to Salt Lake, we spent a long time looking for a place to park, and then walked to Temple Square. We tried to visit the Relief Society Building, but it was closed. The girls (in anticipation of a beautiful "spring" day) weren't dressed warm enough for the cloudy, windy, cool weather, so we didn't wander as far as we had originally planned. We walked over to the Joseph Smith Memorial Building and saw the "hats" display they had in there. We rode the elevator to the top and took some great pictures. We also walked through the family history center. I think the girls were impressed.

The Salt Lake Temple and the Conference Center from the top floor of the Joseph Smith Memorial Building

My beautiful daughters and the temple

We went over to the Conference center and got our tickets and decided to just change clothes and wait inside for the hour and a half until the meeting started. We ended up with amazing seats--being there so early, and enjoyed the time to sit and relax for a while. I loved the value-colored banners they had hung by the organ pipes with the three symbols (laurel wreath, rose, and beehive) on them. The touches like those and the beautiful spring flowers and grasses behind the podium created such a great atmosphere for such a special meeting.

The Conference Center. We loved the YW banners hanging above the doors. Such a nice touch that made the girls feel so special and important!

We were only about 14 rows back, on the side where the Prophet enters and exits. We were so excited to be sitting so close we could see actually see the wrinkles on his face when he smiled!

The meeting was so great. It is so different being there, watching it live, and feeling the spirits of all those beautiful daughters of God surrounding you. The love emanating from those beautiful General Young Women leaders was almost tangible. I love the videos they show in the middle of the broadcast that depict the righteousness and virtue of beautiful young women living the gospel all over the world. I have such a soft spot in my heart for these sweet daughters of God and my eyes often swell with tears of gratitude when I hear of my girls and others keeping the commandments and living the gospel so steadfastly. When the meeting was over, and President Monson and his counselors left, he spent quite a while waving at all those sweet girls. Then I was overcome with gratitude, and with tears streaming down my face, I testified of his calling and told the girls that I hoped they understood how blessed they are to have this gospel...to have the direction and resources they need to navigate this crazy world. There are so many around them that don't even know who they are, let alone why they're here or where they're going. After that, I hugged them each for a long time and told them how much I appreciate their goodness and example and that they wanted to be there with me. Oh, how I love my sweet daughters. I am so honored and grateful to be their mother.

It was funny, walking quickly down the sidewalk back to our car, we noticed that all those girls, moms and leaders (including us) were waking arm in arm or hand in hand, like they felt a closeness that they didn't want to let go of. We hurried to the car (it started raining) and headed home. Sarah rationed the Cadbury Mini-eggs (simply protecting me and Rachel from ourselves) and then went to sleep, and Rachel sat in the front seat with me and played DJ as we talked. The snow storm on the way home was interesting. As we went over the Malad pass, we had horizontal snow clusters coming right at us. Visibility was almost zero, so I slowed to a mere 35mph and followed the tail lights of the car in front of us, hoping that driver could see better than I could. We made it safely home, and went to bed tired, happy, and grateful.

A Visitor from Alaska

I haven't had much time to blog lately. Don't despair, I have kept a list of things to write about and will be updating much within the coming week. The reason for my slothfulness is because I've spent most of my computer time documenting The Adventures of Flat Stanley in Idaho! My sweet little niece in Alaska sent her "Flat Stanley" from school to my daughters to visit them and learn about Idaho. Although they thought it was so cute, I don't think they realized what an honor it was to have been "picked" by that sweet little 7 year-old who must love them dearly. They chuckled, but cringed, nearly every time I made them "pose" with their new paper friend. I was diligent, though, and made sure that every wonderful thing they did, they made him a part of it! We shipped him off today, along with a scrapbook, Idaho pencil, postcards, Sweet Treets Chocolate suckers, and a bag of "I love Idaho" hard candy to share with her friends at school. I decided since I worked so hard on his scrapbook (and had so much fun learning how to use my new digital scrapbook program in the process...yea!) that I'd like to share it. So, here are the newest Adventures of Flat Stanley... (Just click on the page if you want to see it full size.)

  

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Bryson's Progress

One of the reasons I started this blog was to share my thoughts and feelings about having special needs children, one with health needs and another with psychological needs. I hoped by putting these thoughts into words I might help someone else someday that is walking a similar road. Unfortunately, I don't do a very good job of keeping those updates coming when things are going so well.... Here is a long-overdue update about Bryson.

I heard a few weeks ago that the term, "Aspergers Syndrome" is no longer valid, and kids with those symptoms are now part of the umbrella of "High Functioning Autism". Doesn't really matter to me, the diagnosis a few years ago is what got him the help he needed, and getting him the help he needed made him higher functioning than I thought possible.

On October 13th, the day after his 11th birthday, he was officially released from his occupational therapy, having met all of the goals we created with his therapist, and no other new concerns or deficiencies presented themselves. We were excited and so proud of him for accomplishing so much in just over a year. He was sad about not going to therapy anymore, because he loved Tonja and loved learning and practicing his new skills. She gave him an hour of undivided attention and listened to him talk (greatly encouraged him, really) about his day, his worries, his successes, and his preferences as she worked on strengthening his muscles, balance and coordination. It was kind of hectic for me, going every other Wednesday for over a year, but Bryson and I really enjoyed our alone time in the car driving there and back for each appointment. Sharing that time together was pretty special for both of us and we loved to talk about and celebrate his successes (always with an Arctic Circle ice cream cone on the way home).

This TumbleForm "Swing" was one of Bryson's favorite things. He nicknamed it "Tumbleweed" because it reminded him of a horse and he tumbled from it often! He also loved throwing the medicine balls into the small trampolines to play "bounce back". He got pretty good at it and could catch the heavier one while standing on one foot. By the time he was released he had learned how to tie his shoes (again), throw and catch with one hand, and how to skip, hop, and climb. He climbed up a rope ladder and a rock wall, and loved being up so high. (He was so afraid to climb even 2 feet off the ground when he started his therapy.) It was absolutely amazing to see the confidence grow in our little boy in just a year. I think being successful and getting stronger, plus having something to do that was all about him, was so good for him. Tonja always talked with me, too, giving suggestions with his sensory issues, resolving the frustrations at home, and offering new ideas for school and homework. She said once that she loved having him for a patient because his parents were engaged in his development and his therapy continued with us at home. Why would we not follow her suggestions and reinforce her teaching? Oh, how we love Tonja, and will be forever grateful to her for teaching us what to do to help our sweet, special son. He's a different kid than he was a year ago...confident, comfortable, successful, and even happy!

We also love our special eduction teacher at his school, Mindy. Like Tonja, she does her job with such loving care and concern that it doesn't even seem like she's doing a "job". She called me a couple months ago because she was concerned about Bryson's math scores, and we met for over an hour to talk about that and some frustrations with homework we were experiencing at home. (Because of his diagnosis, he has an IEP and accommodations at school to give him the added support he needs to be more successful. He attends a charter school whose philosophy is that when children are in a safe environment with accelerated learning opportunities, they will rise to the challenge and excel. It's a philosophy that works, even for kids with learning challenges. He still struggles at school, but is getting the help he needs to understand concepts and actually catch up to where he should be.) He was struggling specifically with the tasks of completing his 12 or 13 math problems each day and putting his spelling words in ABC order. It just took FOREVER...(like until bedtime). Well, we went back our 3rd and 4th grade method of having his math problems transferred from the book to the paper for him, as it seems that he was getting lost between the book and his work several times for each problem. And I think she's brilliant with the alphabetical order thing.... Bryson is a tactile learner. If he can manipulate it, he gets it. So, deciding he could show his understanding of the concept with 10-12 words just as easily as with 20, she started making him 10 word cards for him to manipulate until they're in order and then just write them down in a list like he has them placed. Pretty smart, huh? I never would have come up with that! Anyway, he also goes to early morning study hall at 7:15 three days a week to have someone help him correct and fix his math assignments. These accommodations alone has reduced homework time from 4 hours (not kidding) to about 1, and he works independently at his desk in his room, is self-motivated, successful, and again...happy!

I am so grateful for the people in my sweet boy's life that have helped us help him. I can't imagine how frustrating life would be to have a brain that processes things differently from the rest of the world (or so it seems) and not be able to understand why things are so hard and uncomfortable all the time. Oh, how I love my sweet little angel boy, with his happy, forgiving, loving disposition. And how grateful I am to have found help through the suggestions of loving teachers, doctors, therapists, friends and family.

Scared for Sarah

A couple of weeks ago, we had a scary few days. Sarah started complaining about swelling in her feet. I didn't pay much attention for a day or so until she showed them to me the second night. Her poor little ankles were gone. She had a leg that just turned into a foot...no ankle bones, no curves, just swelling from her knee to her toes. This is one of the "watch for" symptoms of her PLE. There wasn't any swelling in her toes, her fingers, or her face, so we just thought we'd "watch" it for a few days. By the 4th day, she was still very swollen and uncomfortable, and the swelling didn't seem to get any better overnight or when she wasn't on her feet. So, I called her doctor in Salt Lake and he ordered labs to be done that day. I was very antsy (and so was Steve) to know the results from the blood work, but had to wait til around noon the next day before we knew anything. Her albumen level (the only one I could remember what it was supposed to be at) was down to 2.6. It was at 3.8 last time she had labs done, and the doctor wants her around 4.0. (Normal...for a "normal" person...is 4.5 to 6, I think.) Anyway, when she was soooo sick a couple of years ago with her PLE, her albumen levels dropped clear to 1.8 or something like that. When I heard that number, I was immediately overcome with fear that we were headed down a road I didn't want to travel...and with only 3 months left of high school. The fear caused by memories of that time period threatened to choke the logic and reality right out of me. After a period of being held tight by Steve, and some tears and fears shared with him, I calmed down and decided my smart, level-headed husband was right...that we needed to wait til we talked to the doctor before we panicked. The next day was Friday, and I still hadn't heard from him. Worrying that we'd have to go a whole weekend without any action, and seeing that the swelling was not getting any better, I called back to Primary Children's and left a sort-of-frantic message on the voice mail. Within an hour, I had a call from the nurse and then a call from her doctor. He said that although the albumen and total protein numbers were lower, they were not horrible, and since she didn't have any of the other symptoms — overall swelling, vomiting, diarrhea — we'd just treat the symptom and hope it takes care of itself. He had us give her an extra dose of lasix (diuretic) that she's already taking two of each day to see if the swelling would go away. He also said that infection or illness on her can affect the careful balance in her body and cause a flare-up of her PLE. (She has had several viruses and two sinus infections in the last two months.) By the next day...the VERY next day, her ankles were almost normal again, and have been fine since. We kept her on her extra lasix for a week, and when we took it away...everything was okay. Just like that, another sweet miracle and answered prayers were ours. She said to me the other day, "Mom, I've never been so grateful for my skinny chicken legs as I am now." I wish I could express how very grateful I am for them, too.

My Piano Princess Plays Again!

A couple Saturdays ago, Rachel participated in Pocatello Music Club's Piano Festival again. This was her 6th performance, and her 6th... Superior rating! She said she got pretty nervous and had to start over on one piece, but she must have recovered nicely, because she earned herself another superior, which also earns her enough points for her 2nd gold cup trophy!

The following Monday, she also participated in the Pocatello Music Club's Piano Scholarship auditions. She played one of the pieces from festival and did an amazing job! She won a 2nd Place $50 scholarship that will be paid to her teacher, and give us one month free! (Love the free thing!) She also auditioned for summer music camps, but if she won one of those scholarships, we'll have to wait to find out if we get a notification in the mail.

She is such a gifted musician...the music just flows from her fingers, and I'm so grateful to have that beautiful music playing constantly in my home. She loves to play and enjoys being able to learn and play anything she wants to, including hard songs with pages and pages of music. She has also been teaching piano lessons for about a year and a half now and has six students. She loves the income and the cute little kids, and I love that she's gained greater independence, experience, and love of music.

St. Patrick's Day

I have a mom that absolutely loves holidays...every one of them, except maybe Halloween. But, that never stopped her from decorating and making us the most amazing homemade costumes (and I always felt bad for kids who had to buy theirs at the store). I'm not quite so gung-ho as she is, but because of her, I love holidays too. The big ones are wonderful celebrations and require much energy and preparation, all of which is worth it. But the simple ones, like St. Patrick's Day, are fun to celebrate, too, and require only a little creativity (or childhood experiences like mine).

We began the morning of March 17th with some of Steve's choice bagpipe music blasting through the intercom system to wake the younger kids. I already had green chocolate chip muffins baking in the oven and green eggs and ham (what my mom ALWAYS fed us on March 17th) on the stove. The milk was already dyed green in the boys' lunches and I welcomed them to my kitchen with a cheery "Top of the mornin' to ye, laddie!" as each of the boys entered the room. (Of course, the night before, I made sure they were all wearing something green, knowing their big sisters would be sure to check first thing.) The boys each smiled and hugged me, cheered for the green muffins and eggs, and Josh and Nathan even danced a jig or two in the dining room while I finished cooking breakfast. I was a little concerned for the girls, though. Their eye rolling and only near smiles all morning made me wonder if there was something wrong with their faces. Perhaps they think they're too old for that stuff now, being so mature and all, but I know inside they were laughing and somewhat grateful to have a mommy as silly as me. I sent them all off to school and work with the phrase, "May the luck of the Irish be with ye today!" ...More teenage eye rolling, but this time with real smiles.

The next day (because the actual holiday evening was way too busy for us) we went to my mom's house for her traditional St. Patrick's Day Dinner... Corned beef and cabbage, cooked carrots, green jell-o and green juice. (It's gotten better over the years, she used white grape juice this year, and real corned beef brisket - it was always kool-aid and a tiny can of corned beef when we were kids. She also added my sister-in-law's Scarborough potatoes to the menu...yum!). I brought cookies and mint chocolate chip ice cream. It was amazing to me, even only 5 weeks post-knee replacement, she still had the house decorated with shamrocks, green tablecloths, Irish buttons to wear, green horns to blow, and every tiny detail taken care of (including writing down how many Weight Watcher's points each item on the menu would be). As much as she does, you'd think we were Irish or something. (I think my great-grandmother was half or quarter Irish, but I'm really not sure, so I hope I didn't lie to my kids...)

I smiled a huge smile as I told her about our morning celebrations and shared with her how much I appreciate the kind of mommy she was while I was growing up, so I could have these traditions, and re-create those same memories for my kids. ...And now I wonder how many of my siblings had green eggs and ham for breakfast on March 17th...?

How Do I Keep My Babies Safe...?

This post should have been made a few weeks ago, at the beginning of March, but I wasn't sure quite how to write what I was feeling, or even if I should write these thoughts down. I have since realized that this is my journal, and no matter how sad, hard, or sensitive things may get at times, I need to write it down for me and others to learn from. (Maybe this is why I should go private, but then, if I do, how can people that need support for heart or PLE issues, or Asperger's find me?.... hmmmmm....) Anyway, I hope this post isn't too sensitive or offensive to some (mostly my family), and that I can adequately express these thoughts without sounding like I'm passing judgment or in any way smearing the names of people I love.... And, after that disclaimer, here's what happened.

At the beginning of March, I got a call from my cousin, the one my age on my mom's side that has been my best friend and one of my favorite people for all of my life. She called to talk to me about her daughter's wedding. In the course of the conversation, I learned that she and her husband finally consented to the marriage of their teenage daughter because she is pregnant. My heart absolutely broke when I heard her tell me that, and naturally, wondered how I would deal with a blow like that, and what on earth I could do to help her. The next evening, my mom called and shared with me a conversation that she had with my brother that had walked away form the church years ago. I learned just how far away he was from coming back, and the finality of his actions left my heart broken yet again, and aching for my parents and all the people who love him. Combined with these thoughts and heartache, I added the fact that a couple months earlier another cousin's teenage daughter had a baby. The worry that I couldn't get out of my head for a week or so after, is "how do I keep my babies safe?"

Parents try their best and do what they can, teaching their kids all the things that make them good, honest, responsible people. Those in the Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints also try to teach them to obey the commandments of God and make the choices that will lead them to eternal blessings. So what do you do when your child (adult or not) chooses a different path.... A path that you know will lead them ultimately to pain and unhappiness? How do you keep them "safe"? After the conversation with my cousin, I realized just how real agency is. It's a gift we were given before the earth was, and no matter how hard we want to take it away from our kids and "make them" choose the right, we can't. It's not what God wanted for us. And yet, our Heavenly Father and Savior love each of us so much that even though they don't want to lose any of us, they won't take it away, either. It's something we actually give up by our choices until we eventually don't have any more options.

After a trip to the Temple with Steve (where much pondering and praying went on), I came home with a very real feeling that things will be okay. For them, yes, but most especially for me and my kids. I worried so much about getting to that point—the one where you start to lose them—and wondered how you end up there, and what can be done (if anything) to avoid going there at all. I don't know the answer to that. I'm willing to bet those that have been through it are still wondering the same thing. I guess the final answer I've come up with that helped to calm my soul is that as long as you can love them unconditionally and place your hand in God's, everything will be okay. It may not be your "okay"... their lives may not go the way you wish they had gone, and your heart may break for them many times over, but at least they'll still know you love them, and they'll still be part of your life. As long as we have our faith and each other, everything will always be okay. I may be too quick to judge, and maybe the paths of these people I love will lead to somewhere wonderful in the end, but in the meantime, I'm holding my babies a little tighter, and thanking my Heavenly Father every night for their obedient spirits, their goodness, their innocence and their love.