That's Progress...

One Saturday, a couple of weeks ago, we had one of those days where we went from one thing to another and then I crammed Halloween costume shopping into all the little spots in between. I picked up Bryson from a birthday party, where he had a wonderful time. Then, instead of going home, we parked at the church parking lot. Our family was assigned to clean the building that day, and were already late, so I just planned to meet Steve and the other kids there. Well, I had forgotten to notify my son that we had other things planned for his afternoon, and this surprise really didn't sit well with him. His Asperger's responses kicked in and he asked in a pretty angry voice, "What are we doing here?" I answered that we were there to clean the church. He folded his arms, glared at me through his knit eyebrows, and said, "You didn't tell me. I'm not going." Well, I tried not to stay calm, and just apologized for forgetting to tell him, and told him he could stay in the car, but we were here until the work was done, and I was going in to help. I locked him in, and went into the church. I secretly checked to make sure he was safe out there, but he sat like that for quite some time.

After a while, I saw him slink into the building and with an embarrassed smirk on his face, he told me he had to come in to go to the bathroom. After he was done, he stayed and helped clean the bathrooms and vacuumed. On the way home, I thanked him for his help and as I put my arm around him, I asked, "So, was that really so bad?" He looked down at his feet and said, "No, Mom. I was wrong. It was okay. Sorry." We talked about how good it makes you feel to be helping others and showing our gratitude for the nice church we have to meet in. It took me a few days to realize how much his simple admission must have cost him, and how much it really meant. He admitted (without my prodding or "guilting") that he was wrong and that he was sorry for his behavior. He recognized that it was not acceptable, and not the correct way to respond to that situation. I know he was frustrated, and probably had much different plans for his day. I should have remembered how important it is to prepare him for those things. But I was so impressed with his thoughts during our short conversation in the car on the way home. I think that's what I'd call progress.... Boy, I sure do love that kid!