Hard Decisions

When I was younger, I hated having to make decisions. The good vs. bad ones were pretty easy. It was the good vs. good that were the hardest. Those are the times I wish I could be in two places at once. My wise mother used to advise me to make those decisions with an eternal perspective. She would ask, "In ten or twenty years, or after you've died, what will matter most?" That usually helped me decide which good thing was the one I should do. Now, as an adult, the choices have gotten a little harder. For example, do you choose between your daughters or your son? Do you spend quality time with your girls at the Brown Girls' retreat with extended family (Grandma, aunts and cousins), or go with your son on his 5th grade cross-country skiing field trip? What if you promised your daughters you'd take them, and told your son you were excited to go skiing with him when it was time, only to find out a week later that both events fell on the same day? The days prior to March 4, 2011 were filled with much contemplation and near-agony for me. They brought me to one of those hard decisions I hate. Prayer didn't seem to help in this case, because either choice was a good one. Relying on Steve to fill in for me didn't help, because he had meetings he couldn't get out of. I even tried to figure out how to do both, but the events overlapped several hours, and just really couldn't work it out. So, I was stuck, making a good vs. good decision, and even my mother's eternal perspective trick didn't seem to help.

Ultimately, I decided to take the girls. I had promised them, afterall, and they had been looking forward to the time out with the "girls" for weeks. My sweet Bryson, with his very unselfish spirit, understood; just as I knew he would. He was disappointed, but he realized what I did... that I couldn't break my promise to his sisters. I had a wonderful time with the girls, and Bryson called me right after school to tell me all about his fun time.

Brown Girls weekend... we made cards, button rings, and wooden nativities for Christmas gifts. We talked, played "Just Dance" on the wii (that was hilarious), and watched a movie. We laughed, ate Korean food for dinner and went to bed way too late. The next day, we worked on more cards, lounged around in our jammies til noon, and ate more yummy food. I had my first taste of Cafe Rio (and loved it) and made some special memories with my daughters and my other wonderful sisters, aunt and mom. It was so fun, and always a treasured time together.

Cross-Country Skiing... Bryson found a friend and his dad to hang out with for the day and they had a wonderful time. They had a nice day, and the weather was nice enough that he stayed warm. He said they saw some pretty things at the Nordic Center and played some fun games. He liked cross-country skiing, but it was harder than he thought it would be. He liked the snow shoeing that we did last year a little better. He was happy, and very, very tired.

When the weekend was over, I realized that it was what it was, and once it was over, things were okay, and would have been, no matter what I would have chosen. Sometimes the outcome doesn't matter so much as how the decision and follow-through are executed. I've decided though, the hard decisions that matter, the good vs. good ones, that make a difference to someone one way or the other, the ones where there's no compromise, no divine direction, and no difference in the eternal importance... I still really hate making those.