Addicted to Chocolate...

Okay, I had a little reality check a couple of weeks ago when I threw away another emptied large bag of m&ms. I was really upset at myself for having absolutely no self-control, and did some searching for help on lds.org. Most of the articles were pretty specific about certain kinds of addictions, but there was one that helped me get a little perspective. I wrote an article for our Dixon Family Newsletter sharing my feelings. It really sums up what I was thinking...

As I stepped on the scale this morning to weigh-in for The Dixon Girls’ Biggest Loser, I thought back through the week and realized three things about myself. 1) There is something seriously wrong with my calorie intake/burn ratio. 2) Eating most of a 13 oz. bag of m&ms in two days or 7 brownies at a time is not normal. 3) I have an addiction to chocolate. I know this sounds kind of funny, and I’ve been known to admit it lightheartedly, but I started thinking about my obvious lack of self-restraint, and it made me feel really bad about myself. In my mind, addiction is an obsession that causes us to neglect things of greater importance. When we think of addiction, we usually think of drugs, alcohol, pornography, or gambling. But, I believe that addiction can also apply to things like food, television, shopping, politics, Face book, or anything that we find ourselves so involved in or with that we lose control over our bodies, time, or priorities, and it hurts to change our behavior.

I found a talk by Elder Robert D. Hales that really hit me in the heart when I read it. Here’s some of what he said: “I speak to all whose freedom to choose has been diminished by the effects of ill-advised choices of the past. I speak specifically of choices that have led to...addictions...that diminish one’s sense of self-worth. We must turn to the Lord and follow His commandments. We must want more than anything else to change our lives so that we can break the cycle of our uncontrolled wants. Our challenges, including those we create by our own decisions, are part of our test in mortality. Let me assure you that your situation is not beyond the reach of our Savior. Through Him, every struggle can be for our experience and our good. The Lord will never allow us to suffer beyond what we can endure. We must remember that the adversary knows us extremely well. He knows where, when, and how to tempt us. If we are obedient to the promptings of the Holy Ghost, we can learn to recognize the adversary’s enticements. Our success is never measured by how strongly we are tempted but by how faithfully we respond. We must ask for help from our Heavenly Father and seek strength through the Atonement of His Son, Jesus Christ.” (Ensign, May 2009)

I thought about that and realized that because I am a child of God who loves me, and because He gave me this body which he expects me to have control of, and because what I want and feel matters to Him, I can turn to Him with this struggle, too. I must ask for help, and then do whatever I can myself, relying on His strength to sustain me. Mom told me she’d joked about giving up chocolate for Lent. I decided today that I don’t have to give it up temporarily, or even forever. I just have to “gather my wits” again, and exercise and strengthen my self-control. With God’s help, I know I can make weak things become strong.